Thursday, March 18, 2010

The truth about non-jobs

There's been much huffing and puffing in the mainstream media of late about what shape political campaigning will take online. The blogosphere and new media at large are in a state of constant flux - that's the great thing about them - which means that no-one can quite tell how things are going to work out. Really, it's going to be a process of trial and error.

Here's one example. A few days ago, UNISON put out a video which absurdly claimed that any cut in public spending would mean there would be no-one to answer 999 calls, and old ladies would be abandoned in hospital. In a few hours, we were able to release this spoofed version, featuring a selection of the non-jobs that bedevil the public sector:

So far, UNISON's original video has 2,914 views, while our response is sitting pretty with 19,517. Let battle commence!


Dave said...

It's good video and i posted it on my site.
The Washingtom Monument syndrome must be rebuffed at every opportunity

Devil's Kitchen said...

"A few days ago, UNISON put out a video which absurdly claimed that any cut in public spending would mean there would be no-one to answer 999 calls, and old ladies would be abandoned in hospital."

And that's different to the current situation how, exactly?


AD627 said...

The current situation is that we're paying for people to answer 999 calls and to prevent old ladies from being abandoned in hospital.

However, we are also paying for these people to spend all their time on sick leave, diversity courses, health & safety updates, compliance training, anti-smoking clinics etc.

If we cut public spending, we'd naturally have to keep spending on the latter, so the former wouldn't even get done in theory.

Idle Pen Pusher said...

It's a great video... I posted it at my blog here.

Celteh said...

It's sickening isn't it, that the very mention of cuts immediately brings the retort 'front line services must not be cut'. As if using teachers and nurses as some sort of human shield is acceptable.

Why are the politicos bluff not being called on this.

microdave said...

But it's always the front line staff that do suffer - never the overpaid Common Purpose droids behind the scenes....

Anonymous said...

There just made up jobs to buy votes.
Trouble is my taxes pay for these non jobs.
And i'm not talking about front line staff here ,far from it.
Thats the trouble with this country now.
Everybody expects a meal ticket.
It's just not sustainable.
The system will collapse under it's own weight soon.
The Labour filth are just hanging on for a miracle.
In my experience miracles do not exist.
Better dig a bunker and stock up on food.
Like the christain fundamentalists in the US are.
Maybe they have a point.

Ian R Thorpe said...

Not long ago I saw someone on television who said she was an NHS Patient Affairs Officer.

Are they providing a dating service for sick people now?

Then back in January a recuitment ad in the paper was seeking a "lean practicioner," on £35k p.a.

Can anyone tell us WTF is a lean practicioner.

Best of all though was an ad placed by a council wanting to hire a "domestic violence coordinator".

Does this person organise a rota for wife beaters so the local A & E does not get overloaded and miss its targets?

Labour's idea of the model economy is one where everybody works for the government.

Anonymous said...

Every Line Manager [anyone who manages subordinates] in the Public Sector has enforcement of Cultural Marxism ["Equality- and Diversity-proofing" in Newspeak] as one of the main objectives in their job descriptions. Every manager is therefore a Political Officer [google 'zampolit'].

This being the case, surely the quickest and most painless way of reducing Public Sector spending by the required 18% would be to disband all those Equality and Diversity Units, leaving the line managers to enforce "Equality and Diversity".

Will it happen under Blue Labour? Not a chance. "Diversity is here to stay - get used to it" trumpet the Cameroons. Frontline staff will be cut, while the Cultural Marxists, Fabians and Communitarian Common Purpose "graduates" and their ilk continue their destruction of this country from the inside.

Anonymous said...

Damn, my job's a non-job. Pity the local economy is so fucked it's this or the dole. Either way you pay me. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

"lean practitioners" are currently infecting much of the Civil Service like a bad dose of the Black Death. In theory they aim to save money. They ask questions such as "why have you got two forks in your drawer?"

(obvious really, one for sweet and one for savoury)

Other than that they stick notices on boards( Information Centres) that nobody looks at and constantly organize meetings which nobody wants to attend but which take staff away from their jobs.

They probably cost millions but what they do (and achieve) has never been costed.

Al said...

In my sphere of the private (service) sector the "lean team" are much feared. They review processes for inefficiencies and remove those inefficienies.

"You've been leaned" is a synonym/euphemism for you are sacked.

I think we need some decent lean practitioners in the public sector.

DocBud said...

Unison very helpfully provides a link to the TPA video:

berenike said...

I suspect it will be the people with real jobs, not the community space eco-enabling manager, who will be affected by the cuts.

Martin said...

My own solution to the whole Equality nd Diversity stuff is for all such services to be bundled together into a quango, and for that to then be privatised while managed by Fred Goodwin.

Furor Teutonicus said...

claimed that any cut in public spending would mean there would be no-one to answer 999 calls, and old ladies would be abandoned in hospital.

But they are being NOW!

Furor Teutonicus said...

Yeah, O.K DK beat me to it.

BASTArDS! MUST get out of bed earlier.

Mr A said...

There are clearly billions to be saved in the public sector. The trouble is they never send someone into these organisations to say, "You're a what? What the Hell does that involve? You're sacked."

Instead they contact the droid at the top and say, "Your funding's been cut - sack people," and these idiots invariably say, "We have a kitemark in Excellence in our zero carbon strategy so the Climate Change Consultants can't go. Our Diversity and Tobacco Managers are vital to the achievement of our Vision Statement so they can't go. Hmmm, what about these people, the ones on peanuts - they'll have to go." And invariably these are the people who actually do the work - the binmen, the streetsweepers, the teachers and nurses etc etc etc.

I briefly worked in a public library when I found myself between jobs, and I saw libraries being run by one old lady on 12k a year, stressed out of her brain as she had to face a daily influx of jeering chavs, and forced to open only limited hours as there is only so much work one person can do. Meanwhile.....

Above her there was her line manager, then her sub-regional line manager, then (for some unknown reason ANOTHER sub-regional manager - possibly a job created for them in the last reorganisation where they couldn't be sacked so they had a job created for them so they could be put somewhere out of the way)), the regional line manager, the Library Service Manager, the Community Service manager and in addition there were several managers distinct from them with responsibilities in Social Inclusion, Children etc etc.

And this was only in the Library Service, before you even got to the Council proper. And needless to say all these people were on damn good money and also at any one time a third of them were away from work with "stress."

When I left cuts were being made and this, of course, involved closing the one-man libraries, freezing pay, and sacking the people who dealt with the public and were on £12k a year (if full-time, which many weren't).

The Vision Implementation Managers, Regional Inclusion Officers etc were all unaffected, though, and still claiming their £60k+ a year pay packets.

Someone needs to actually get into these places (the NHS especially) and clear them out.

It'll never happen though.

Roue le Jour said...

Sir Humphrey explained all this years ago. During the good times you hire more admin staff, during the bad you threaten to close a children's hospital. Simples.

Gareth said...

Mr A,

It can happen. What it needs is a political party to campaign on reforming the public sector in the very way you have outlined and then being prepared to wield their democratic authority if they win an election.

It needs the politicians to take on that responsibility because the bureaucrats never will - cuts are always easiest inflicted on front line staff and services.

Unfortunately the draw of statism and control has lead the main contenders to shy away from doing right by the nation, by taxpayers and by users of public services. This nation *is* crumbling.

The nanny state is a top heavy woman and we haven't enough lace and wire to keep everything under control. She needs to go on a diet or under the knife.

Qwentin "Red" skinner said...

It is easy to jeer, we all know that, but see how funny you think it is when you need a lesbian diversity outreach facilitator in an emergency!

Dick the Prick said...

It costs a fucking fortune to lay people off though. I've been working as a Tory political asst in a quite small council where we need a few more seatss to gain control - looking good but guess we don't know yet.

Anywho, in our plans to cut the bullshit down the contingency sums being mentioned are around £15 million and as with all elections being cyclical, if we lose control sooner rather than later then the fucking socialists will just burn any gains.

It's all completely fucked.

Led said...

I am somewhat of a "lean practitioner" in the private sector. There are two of us in a fairly big company, one of us is from the public sector and we use him for legal audits/SOX/IT systems (because it needs to be an arduous boring process to send any auditors to sleep before they find any faults) and then myself..

Well I have a bad habit of 'mapping' everything out and saying if person X was cross-trained to do this, these 5 people can be let go. I'm not particularly popular.

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