Your humble Devil is a little late to this party but, via John B and Longrider, I find this unbelievable piece of crap in—where else?—The Grauniad.
A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were watching TV at home when the advert for comparethemarket.com appeared on our screen. I had seen the ad before and not thought anything of it. However on this occasion, my girlfriend, who is Ukrainian, turned to me and said: "I don't like this advert, it is very offensive to me." I mentioned it to a friend who said his Latvian lodger also found it offensive.
The advertisement centres on the word "market"—a word that eastern Europeans/Russians pronounce "meerkat"—using talking CGI-animated meerkats. The sole point of this African animal's appearance is, it seems, to highlight the idea that east Europeans cannot pronounce the word market properly when they speak English. It struck me how racist it was to parody what is now a significant part of the British population in this way. It also occurred to me that were the ad to use stereotypical Indian or Caribbean accents in the same way it would never be allowed on TV.
Um... You've not seen the Lilt adverts then?
But fucking hell, some people will do anything to get laid, eh? What's wrong, Peter: did your Eastern European lass refuse to suck your stringy little cock unless you complained? Or are you just a fucking tit?
I decided to complain first to ITV. When I looked on the ITV website, to my shock, I found that their business development manager Richard Chilvers was boasting that this was his favourite ad and that it helped to bring his "passion alive". I emailed my complaint. ITV responded that "the subject matter, content and treatment of all commercials are always given serious consideration to determine their suitability for transmission". They also stated that "particular care is needed to ensure that advertisements are not misleading or offensive". They then stated that I should contact the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority) which I duly did.
You are fucking kidding me? As one CiF commenter asks, is this a fucking spoof?
I always wondered what kind of mealy-mouthed, humourless cunt complained about shit like this: well, thanks, Peter—now I know exactly what kind of mealy-mouthed, humourless cunt complains about this shit. To paraphrase the Lottery adverts, it might be you. Oh, yes: it is.
The ASA informed me that it did not assess advertisements before they went out but responded to complaints. The initial assessment and clearing was done by a company called Clearcast which, I was told, conveniently did not deal with the public. I then emailed my complaint to the ASA, whose response stated: "Whatever impact the mild stereotyping of the eastern European accent has is undercut by the fact that it is a cartoon rather than a live actor. As such we do not feel that the content of the commercial is likely to provoke widespread offence." It said it had not had any other complaints.
I asked my girlfriend why that might be.
It's because most people are not mealy-mouthed, humourless cunts who desperately want their Eastern European girlfriends to stop screeching at them and suck their stringy little cocks instead.
Mind you, looking at Peter Jones's picture, I am not entirely surprised at his girlfriend's behaviour. Come on, ladies: wouldn't you do just about anything—including manufacturing an entirely pointless melodrama about bugger-all—rather than suck Peter's wanger? I mean, he looks like a fucking SuperMarionation puppet (still, no trouble getting wood, eh?).
Don't worry, Peter, your humble Devil has some advice for you: shut the fuck up and go back to screwing warm watermelons. Oh, and if you aren't sure how to go about it, here's a handy video for you...
See? Is simples! You wanker.