Monday, June 29, 2009

Gordon Brown + Ed Balls = bankruptcy

Ed Balls: "I'm gonna get mediaeval on yo' ass. Oh no, wait.. That's wrong. What I meant to say was: 'by the time that we've finished with the economy, you'll know what it was like to live in mediaeval times'."

Seriously, is Gordon Brown living in some kind of fucking fantasy world?
Gordon Brown is to reject warnings about the scale of the public debt and press on with high levels of spending through the recession, according to the Prime Minister's closest [surely that should be "only"?—Ed.] ally Ed Balls.

What the hell? For fuck's sake, can't some Civil Servant go over there with a bloody abacus and do some simple sums for the Gobblin' King? Y'know, and illustrate that we cannot fucking afford this!
Mr Brown's determination to boost spending on frontline services will be underlined with the launch of his much vaunted national plan for public services on Monday.

His Building Britain's Future document includes a number of proposals which will require significant Government spending.

Fucking hellski...
This will include the announcements of new funding for social housing and the recruitment of 100,000 personal tutors as part of an education White Paper.

Personal fucking tutors? I though that the education system under NuLabour was the best in the known world—what the hell do you need personal tutors for? Unless, of course, you have bollocksed up the education system which then begs the question—why the bloody hell do you think you'll be able to run a system of personal tutors, using yet more money that we don't have?
Mr Balls, the Children's Secretary, has defied suggestions from Mervyn King, the Governor of the Bank of England, that immediate action was required to check the levels of public borrowing.

Because, obviously, journo-turned-wonk Ed Balls—a creepy and undistinguished minister in the most financially profligate government in British history—is in a far better position to judge economic policy than the Governor of the Bank of England, eh?
He indicated increased spending on front line services such as schools and hospitals, and hinted for the first time that the police may also be protected from the cuts.

Yeah, well, once the people of this country wake up to the enormity of the fuck-up that you have delivered to them and their children (and probably their grandchildren), you are going to need the police on your side, aren't you?
The disclosure that ministers have little intention of reigning back on spending in the short term came as the Centre for Economics and Business Research warned that public spending was set to rise to 50 per cent of gross domestic product by the end of the next financial year.

How many different ways can I possibly say this: we cannot sustain this level of spending! No country can operate for any length of time when the government is spending more than half of the economic output!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck fuck-fuck.
Alistair Darling, who narrowly avoided being replaced as Chancellor by Mr Balls in this month's reshuffle, was said to be planning to shield the true condition of the economy from the public in the run-up to the election by cancelling the Comprehensive Spending Review, the Treasury's biennial economic report card.

The last CSR was in 2007, but Mr Darling is said to feel that detailed forward-planning on the economy was impossible while the full impact and extent of the recession remained unclear. It is expected this will be after the next general election.

Oh. My. God. I... I... Just what the bloody hell is going on? How can these people possibly carry on spending at this rate when they know that they—we—don't have the money to pay for it?

Fucking hellski: we really are totally bastard screwed. Because Gordon Brown is living in a fucking fantasy world where al of this is somehow possible.



GBrownstuff said...

Its ok, we will just print the money! Its the new economy don't you know, can't believe nobody thought of it before!

JuliaM said...

Well, we can expect some proper opposition now from Call-Me-Dave, at least.

Can't we...?

North Northwester said...

DK, Well, as fiskings go, you went all the way up to your elbow on this one, and with good reason.

Given that yearly benefits payments now exceed the annual take from income tax, this is not exactly an exercise in perfect honesty and good sense, is it? But somehow this interesting factoid doesn't seem to have struck our national broadcaster as important.

Julia; always with the jokes.

Garry said...

He has to borrow, so he can keep buying presents for the electorate.

Just until the next election.

Anonymous said...

Mr Brown's determination to boost spending on frontline services will be underlined with the launch of his much vaunted national plan for public services on Monday.

His Building Britain's Future document includes a number of proposals which will require significant Government spending.

Presumably, that will be significant Government spending plus £1750.00?

Rob Farrington said...

I'm glad that I've been buying shitloads of silver bullion for the last year or so.

Now all I need to do is to build a log cabin in the woods, learn how to live off the land, and sit on a bridge playing a banjo.

I'm also going to buy one of those paper log-making contraptions. At least those twenty pound notes might still come in useful fof something.

Thortung The Terrible said...

Ed Bollocks really does think he's the chancellor, doesn't he?

Pogo said...

Strewth DK!

Looks like "ring sting" from the Chilli Cook-Off has got you firing on all cylinders again!

And the brief "rest" seems to have done your bile-production a power of good too. :-)

Letters From A Tory said...

I'm delighted to see that recent polls are showing around 75% of the public want public spending cut, which means that they could react very badly to the Government announcing even more spending and borrowing.

I live in hope....

Falco said...

Scorched earth anyone?

Gareth said...

If Ed Balls mentions a few more departments and services that will be immune from cuts there won't be any money left to pay for the debt Gordon is racking up.

Balls is either announcing the ruination of our country or lying about there being no cuts.

Dr Evil said...

Ok, McBroon is going for the old lay waste the ground for the opposition but what if the amazing happens and No Labour scrape back in. Then he is up to his neck in the shit. What plan does he have to turn things around? Can he? We are over taxed as it is and we cannot afford his lavish spending. 100,000 personal tutors will cost around 4000000000. 4 billion may seem trivial compared to 168 billion but where is it coming from? They are also hiding the state of the economy until 'after the next election' unsurprisingly and keeping stuff off the books too. Only now are they stealing BNP ideas and putting British families at the top of the housing queue. No-one is fooled by this.

Anonymous said...

Look, it's like this: Brown isn't spending like a pimp because he thinks it's necessary to lift the economy out of recession. He isn't even spending like a pimp because he has an ideological commitment to higher public spending.

He is spending like a pimp because he knows that the more debt he racks up, the harder things will be for Britain's next government. The more debt he leaves behind and the more damage he does, the more the Tories will have to take tough and unpleasant decisions. Brown is a creature of the 1980s and he well remembers the hard steps Thatcher had to take to save this country. He remembers that Thatcher's bitter medicine worked well and saved this country from destruction - but it also left her a horrendously unpopular figure.

Brown has never taken a decision in his life that wasn't about cheap partisan advantage. Look at his record since he became PM and you'll see what I mean; consider the 10p tax rate debacle - a man effectively doubles the tax rate on the poorest for no reason other than to wrongfoot David Cameron at PMQ. That's the mentality you're dealing with. Brown is gambling that he can rape the economy to such an extent that Cameron will effectively have to end almost all public spending. This plays into his bullshit mantra of "Tory Cuts! Tory Cuts! Tory Cuts!" and, in his mind, will bring Labour back into power in 2015 - much as Labour expected to be back in power in 1983 after one term of Thatcher.

For the sake of gaining short-term partisan advantage, Gordon Brown is happy to destroy this country and drive the people to penury. Fortunately, for what it's worth, I think the electorate are a little less stupid than Brown believes and will not fall for his cheap tricks. Brown might still be living in 1986 but the rest of us, thank the fuck Christ, have moved on.

Anonymous said...

"Mandy made me do it" Gordo's get out speech when Labour drop into the abyss come the next general election


Gareth said...

Could there be another ulterior motive?

When Iceland collapsed the European Commission was quick to suggest it join the Euro as a way out. Brown and the Treasury have done a number of things since the hiccup in the economy that needed the consent of Europe. A scorched earth policy has no negative consequence for Brown - he won't be PM in the next Government even if it is Labour. If our economy goes titsup the EC will come calling.

Recently he surrendered a great deal of financial autonomy on the regulatory side of things, seemingly in return for one of the departments the EC is going to set up being in London. Might he also have been doing it to curry favour if he wanted to involve himself in the World Bank or BIS or some other global organ?


Anon suggests that the electorate is not stupid,i wonder what laddbrookes says?

Anonymous said...

@ Englishman

I didn't suggest the electorate wasn't stupid. I suggested they weren't stupid enough to fall for the mantra of "Tory Cuts!". Every opinion poll in existence shows Labour's ratings in the toilet and widespread support for cuts in spending.

I am clearly right and you are clearly a worthless ignoramus who should die of rectal cancer in a country that hasn't discovered morphine. In conclusion, fuck you.

FlipC said...

Ah I'm guessing there's two parts to this 'cunning plan' - first allocate funding for front-line services without actually providing said funds then, with the general election looming, print lots of posters with "Conservatives will cut front-line spending".

If "Letters from a Tory" is correct with those poll figures though it might backfire.

Anonymous said...

Here's two more interesting statistics for you. Borrowing has gone from 20 a year to 20 billion a month, an exponential path. Also unfunded state pensions will account for 80% of GDP. This is before our economy collapses, so they obviously won't get paid.
Brown seems more and more like George Bush, he likes to destroy things. The only reason I can see he is doing this is he hopes Scotland will split from England, then they will have their oil and recover quite quickly. Unless of course we went up there and killed them all.
Still I think we can safely say the crash will come this year, probably September. Hope you've all got a food store. When the pound collapses prices will probably go up 200% overnight.

Parliament of Pigfuckers said...

It's called a core vote strategy. Those of us with a basic knowledge of maths are all 'the enemy' to him already. He is trying to rally the congenitally dense and the ideologically blind to his Brown Flag - as he brings down total economic ruin on all those who laughed at him.

The utterly unforgivable cunt.

Anonymous said...

Here's a good link to itulip

He compares America to Argentina . Argentina collapsed when the fiscal deficit exceeded 3% and external debt exceeded 55%. Our fiscal deficit will be 14% next year, external debt about 100%. We await a trigger, maybe the S&P downgrade.
Get a gun as well as some food. Gold as well.

Anonymous said...

Economy is already in a state of FUBAR (fucked up beyond all recognition).This is getting ridiculous.If Mc Doom is going to follow South American policies perhaps we should have a good old South American coup.

Anonymous said...

Does that include a Grand Gala shooting of the Head of Government?


(I need to get tickets printed and everything. Sheesh, I'll never be ready at this rate...)


Anonymous said...

In your own words DK, Fucking Hellski!

This clearly highlights that these twats have absolutely no interest in serving their country - only themselves.

People of honour who f**k things up would graciously stand aside to make way for a more competent person.

This is all about staying in power, and if the country gets completely f**ked because of it, then so be it.

Is it just me or has Blinky Balls been getting a little bold over the last few days?
He knows Gorgon's finished and is making his move for leadership now IMHO.

Twats the lot of them. They need to get honest with the finances.

Sort out the debt repayments and how to fund them.
No sacred cows I'm afraid. Health service, pensions, education....the lot. All in the pot. What can we afford? OK then what is priority for spending. Simple as.

Plenty said...

Gordon just doesn't get this whole thing about if you keep spending and borrowing, you'll eventually go bankrupt. And then he'll be begging the IMF for money to dig us out of the hole he's created. Does he not understand that or has he just put his ear plugs in?

Grex said...

Nothing wrong with banjos, played right and practised regular. Get one without a resonator, then you can crown any fucker with the metal pot who tries to get on your porch, firearms being largely illegal here.

Budgie said...

Plenty said: "Gordon just doesn't get this whole thing about if you keep spending and borrowing, you'll eventually go bankrupt."

But doesn't anyone in Labour understand that you cannot keep borrowing for ever, even if McDebt is too thick or too childish? Surely Labour as a party does not have the same Hitlerian death wish as McCavity?

Anonymous said...

What non-plusses me is Cameron and the Tories in all of this. If this is a Brown/Mandelshit/Balls plan of scorched earth for the Tories to inherit, surely 'call me Dave' should be on the offensive (as opposed to just being offensive)?

He must know that he's going to take charge of the biggest mess since the last socialist induced mess, surely?

So what's his game? Why are the Tory ranks practically silent? Why is the buttered new potato keeping quiet? Is it really 'power at any price'?

WTF is going on?

Mind you, it would be hilarious (albeit only for a nano second) if liebore did win the next GE after plunging the country into the abyss, on the assumption that the blue blairite would win.

(Apologies for all the questions. I just don't get any of it).

Thomas Rossetti said...

This has to be one of the best articles about Gordon Brown's crazy spending drive I've read (although I wouldn't read it out to an elderly relative).

I thought New Labour had progressed from the old days of tax 'n' spend. Obviously not.

North Northwester said...

"What non-plusses me is Cameron and the Tories in all of this. If this is a Brown/Mandelshit/Balls plan of scorched earth for the Tories to inherit, surely 'call me Dave' should be on the offensive (as opposed to just being offensive)?
He must know that he's going to take charge of the biggest mess since the last socialist induced mess, surely?
So what's his game? Why are the Tory ranks practically silent? Why is the buttered new potato keeping quiet? Is it really 'power at any price'?"

Well, it surely seems to be 'office at any price,' and given the Marxian public sector which will fight everything he does, the legislation from the EU, and possibly manipulation by the banks [if you go to that farthest shore], then Mister Cameron is looking to be a nuclear-armed ceremonial mayor if he's not careful.

Guy Herbert said...

"Civil servant with an abacus"? Civil service accounting has yet to advance into the 18th century. Why do you think there is a separate accounting profession overseen by CIPFA? Public accounts need special training to understand the magic involved, and the sort of analytical principles and techniques (double-entry bookkeeping, for example) taught to other financial professionals only get in the way.

Anonymous said...

Help me compile a list of NuLabour's cuts.

Are they cutting or deceiving in the marginals?

Charles Crawford said...

Thanks for the painstaking analysis. But I am surprised and disappointed that you missed the one really bad thing in the Telegraph article, namely an egregious eggcorn:

We are indeed Ruined, both by the people who claim to lead us and by the illiterati who report on them.

Boy on a bike said...

Where are the 100,000 tutors going to come from? The current crop of graduates are all fucked, having had no education at all, so they are rooted. The current teachers are supposed to be the "cream of the crop", so 100,000 tutors could only be recruited from the ranks of the illiterate, the innumerate and the uneducated.

Wiki Mouse said...

Boy On A Bike; good question, but in reality educashun these days is about ticking boxes and making it through to the next term/semester, more or less in one piece.

I have taught, I have seen the kids utterly unprepared to learn. If you can't copy and paste it off Wikipedia, it can't be done. If you have to stop playing a game on your college PC to find the "assignment" material on Wikipedia, it is unlikely to get even as far as copy and pasting.

So the 100,000 will be people who are given vague and arbitrary boxes to tick with suitably stubby pencils. These papers will be collated and counted and boxed up and... well, there's always next term.

measured said...

You have such a lovely turn of phrase, DK. Good points though. Just couldn't find the bed, not got out the wrong side? ;-)

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