How do you like them apples?
Guess who has been caught claiming more fraudulent expenses? Yes, it's the Home Secretary claiming porno on her husband's behalf.
Home Secretary Jacqui Smith’s political future was in jeopardy this morning after it was revealed that her husband used her Commons expenses allowance to pay to watch pornographic films.
Richard Timney, who works as Ms Smith’s Commons adviser, used part of the Minister’s second-homes allowance to pay for the blue movies he watched on a subscription television channel.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Now, I can understand the reason why Richard Timney watched porn movies in April: I would imagine that they performed the function of allowing him to get it up in order to do his yearly duty with his god-awful, ugly, old boot of a wife.
The relationship between Ms Smith and her husband was said by Government insiders to be ‘very difficult,’ but stressed that the couple were still together.
It is understood that Mr Timney had been watching explicit adult movies on channels broadcast on the Virgin Media cable TV service.
Ms Smith was said to be 'mortified' today after she was forced to offer a humiliating apology over the expenses claim.
The Home Secretary said she 'mistakenly' submitted an expenses claim which included five pay-per-view films, including two adult movies which were viewed at her family home in her Redditch constituency.
A friend said the Home Secretary knew there was 'no excuse' for the error but added: 'To say she's angry with her husband is an understatement.
'Jacqui was not there when these films were watched.
'She's furious and mortified.'
Ms Smith said in a statement: 'I am sorry that in claiming for my internet connection, I mistakenly claimed for a television package alongside it.
But what I do not understand is why we are paying for Jacqui Smith's home internet connection, nor why it is apparently costing her some £67 per month.
'As soon as the matter was brought to my attention, I took immediate steps to contact the relevant parliamentary authorities and rectify the situation.
'All money claimed for the television package will be paid back in full.'
You will be paying back the television package for the entire time that you have been claiming it, will you? How long have you been watching movies paid for by the taxpayer? How long has the taxpayer been paying for your television extras? And will you be paying back every single penny of it, you thieving harpy? I fucking hope so.
Seriously, I can actually see how this might, just possibly, be a mistake. But the only reason that this could have happened is because we allow MPs these ridiculous perks. There is absolutely no reason, at all, why we should pay for Jacqui Smith's home internet connection—absolutely none. And I'd love to know—are we also paying for her sister's internet connection?
Oh, and lest we forget...
Just three months ago, The Mail on Sunday revealed that Mr Timney – who is paid £40,000 of public money a year as Ms Smith’s to run her Redditch constituency office – was behind a letter-writing campaign defending the Government in her local paper.
Yes, that's right folks: we also pay her husband £40,000 a year so that Richard can be Jacqui's parliamentary advisor. And we are asked to take it on faith that he is doing his job even though their relationship is said to be "very difficult".
Let us just look at this objectively. Jacqui Smith is a minister, and so pulling in a salary of
On top of that, Jacqui Smith claimed £152,683 in expenses last year; minus her husband's £40,000, that is an extra £113,000. Some £24,000 a year, as we know, goes to pay the mortgage on her Redditch "second home" (even though it has been established that she spends most of her time there, and not in her sister's flat).
So the obvious question—and it actually applies to all MPs—what the fuck is she actually spending her salary on? She isn't, as most of us do, using it to pay her bills, because we pay those. So, where the fuck is that, frankly, huge sum of money going, exactly?
After all, the Smith household is pulling in a combined salary of over
Guido has the rest of the Sunday sleaze roundup: I am just too wearied, all of a sudden, to give a shit.
I am fed to the back teeth of paying for these dishonest bastards: I am tired of them preaching at me whilst they have their hands in our fucking till; I am fucking tired of documenting their lies and their thieving and their incompetence.
Why do we put up with it? And is it really true that the majority of the people in this country just don't care? How can that be the case?
The only way to stop these cunts from constantly picking our pockets is to prosecute them: as I have said before, we should bring a private prosecution against one or two of them—Jacqui would be an excellent target—and jail them for fraud.
Because—and I want to be absolutely clear about this—it is fraud: it is not a "mistake", it is not "minor infraction", it is not a "misreading of the rules". It. Is. Fraud. And they should be prosecuted as such.
As pater Devil used to say, it's the only thing these teddy-boys understand.