Drivers will have to declare every 10 years whether they are medically able to get behind the wheel, according to proposals to be set out early in the new year.
For the first time, the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) will issue a series of minimum physical and mental requirements motorists must fulfil including eyesight performance and reaction times.
On the face of it, this isn't entirely unreasonable; an American acquaintance of mine points out that, in that country, a basic medical is required upon renewal of a driving licence. However, the fee is, apparently, about $15. What is our government proposing to charge?
Tests, costing up to £80, will be offered to drivers to check whether they are fit to drive
£80? Look, I shall invoke the spirit of the blessed Tim Worstall here, but if we, as a society, think that this measure is a good thing, then we, as a society, should pay for it, i.e. the cost should come out of general taxation. This is simply another way for a cash-strapped government to raise more cash: that is all.
Besides, who the fuck is going to do these medicals? It would surely have to be a qualified medico, no? And it isn't like we are rolling in a massive flood of doctors hanging about with nothing to do (despite the impression that the god-awful BMA might give). So, do we assume that these tests will be undertaken by the Nurse Quacktitioners of which Dr Crippen is so fond? Or will it be some unqualified nitwit in the DVLA?
Oh, but there is more fuckwittery to come...
The move is designed to weed out tens of thousands of motorists – many of them elderly – who use their cars while suffering from conditions which could make them a danger to themselves or others.
"We are trying to improve road safety and help drivers fulfil their obligations. What we have now doesn't work," said a Whitehall source.
"At the moment the DVLA is sifting through a large number of medical records and simply ends up giving people their licences back.
Riiiight. So, what you are saying is that those fucking idiots at the DVLA are unable to do their jobs effectively? That, although people are declaring their illnesses, the DVLA are unable to cope with the time required to assess whether or not, from a simple declaration on a form, these people should be driving?
Then what the fuck makes you think that these bureacratic nitwits will be able to cope with everyone coming to them with a full medical test every ten years, you stupid cunt?
"The DVLA is not getting at those drivers who should be letting it know about their medical conditions. We really want people to take responsibility."
People are taking responsibility, you utter shitbag; they are declaring illnesses. But you state employee cunts are not doing your jobs properly, are you? Fucking hell, but you people are a bunch of incompetent, mendacious cuntbags, you really are.
This isn't even the standard NuLabour (and Boris) tactic of punishing the innocent for the crimes of the guilty: this is the state punishing the innocent for the failures and laxness of their own employees and systems!
Anyone who chooses not to take the tests but declares themselves able to take to the roads will be committing a criminal offence if they fail to meet the established standards.
Oh, right. So, it will be voluntary initially, will it? And then, of course, there will be a few incidents, and these tests will become "voluntary", in the NuLabour (and Melanie Reid) interpretation of the term, i.e. compulsory.
Does anyone think that this move won't be a complete and utter clusterfuck? After all, just about everything that NuLabour has touched has turned to turds.
I think that we should elect governments on, say, five manifesto pledges. And they would not be allowed to start on another pledge until they could prove that the steps that they had currently undertaken had actually benefitted people. One step at a time, you see. If these cunts brought all of government to bear on one project at a time, they might just get it right.
I wouldn't fucking bet on it though.