Everyone who buys a mobile telephone will be forced to register their identity on a national database under government plans to extend massively the powers of state surveillance.
Seriously, what the fuck? Where is this crap going to end? And where are the Conservatives: why aren't they popping up saying that they are going to immediately repeal this crap if it comes in?
Phone buyers would have to present a passport or other official form of identification at the point of purchase.
What if you buy your phone online? Plenty of people do, y'know.
And "other official form of identification"? What—like an ID Card, for instance?
Fucking hell, but these people are such cunts.
Privacy campaigners fear it marks the latest government move to create a surveillance society.
Oh, ya think? For fuck's sake...
A compulsory national register for the owners of all 72m mobile phones in Britain would be part of a much bigger database to combat terrorism and crime. Whitehall officials have raised the idea of a register containing the names and addresses of everyone who buys a phone in recent talks with Vodafone and other telephone companies, insiders say.
The move is targeted at monitoring the owners of Britain’s estimated 40m prepaid mobile phones. They can be purchased with cash by customers who do not wish to give their names, addresses or credit card details.
And why the fuck should they have to? Why does the government have the right to intercept calls as a matter of routine anyway? If I recall correctly (and, of course, I may not), it is still a criminal offence to open mail that is not addressed to you; but now, it appears, it is perfectly OK to listen in on people's conversations or monitor their email and internet traffic.
Has anyone else got a vision of some Civil Service wonk, crouched over a desk with headphones on, listening intently to various conversations? Fuck me, it's just like the fucking Stasi. Leave aside 1984, our lords and masters have obviously watched The Lives Of Others and decided to emulate that.
As Old Holborn points out, the government will not be tracking the SIM number, but the actual device number—the IMEI.
It is a criminal offence—under the Mobile Telephones (Re-programming) Act 2002—to change the IMEI.
- A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable—
- on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months or to a fine not exceeding the statutory maximum or to both, or
- on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 5 years or to a fine or to both.
Nice, eh? As Old Holborn also points out, you can get software to change the IMEI of your phone. However, I should warn you that under the terms of the above Act...
- A person commits an offence if—
- he has in his custody or under his control anything which may be used for the purpose of changing or interfering with the operation of a unique device identifier...
And it is punishable with the same sentences and fines as actually changing the IMEI.
Fucking hell: why won't these bastards piss off and die? As Timmy puts it...
No, please, just go and do something useful for a change will you? Drown yourself in your own urine or something.
Quite. Or something more painful. I'm easy.
Just go, for the love of god, go!