Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The puritans are coming

(nb. I am not the Devil's Kitchen)

The slippery slope argument, as any learned man will tell you, is a logical fallacy. Just because A leads to B, it does not necessarily mean that B will lead to C, let alone to D. And yet, when you're dealing with puritanical health groups and authoritarian politicians, you can be pretty sure that A will lead to D, E, F and fucking Z before you can say "thin end of the wedge".

When people used to say that the increasingly vicious pogram against smokers would lead to a similar war of attrition against drinkers and fatties, they were told to stop being so fucking stupid. Apples and oranges, you see. And yet, barely a year after the smoking ban, we have this shit:
Cigarette-style health warnings will have to be displayed wherever alcoholic drinks are sold. This would include shops, bars and, according to the industry, could force restaurants to place an official “sensible drinking message” on every table.

And so the uglification of Britain continues apace.
The practice of selling cocktails called Sex on the Beach, or more sexually graphic names, will also be scrapped.

These people are not puritans. Repeat, not puritans. Now go back to sleep.
A ban on drinking games, such as downing a glass in one.

Good luck policing that one. And best of all...
There will also be rules to limit “happy hour” offers that encourage speed drinking.

Now, these are all just "proposals" for the time being but does anyone seriously believe that all of this and more won't happen? If that miserable, lemon-sucking, Presbyterain bastard in Downing Street was ever destined to go down in history for anything, it was surely to be remembered as the man who banned happy hour. Not since Oliver Cromwell banned Christmas has a law complemented a man's odious personality so perfectly. It is almost as if the cunt's whole life has been leading up to this moment.

Let's get some facts out of the way:

In terms of the European league of per capita alcohol consumption, Britain is firmly in mid-table, at 13th.

Alcohol consumption has been falling every year since the 24 hour drinking law came into effect and there are 36 pubs closing every week (largely thanks to that terrifically popular smoking ban).

The graph below is from the Office of National Statistics and shows how many men and women are exceeding the government's "sensible drinking" limits (which are based on no evidence).

A mounting wave of alcoholism or just another load of old bollocks? You decide.

Or rather, let's not decide. Instead, let's ignore the facts like the British idiots we are and pretend we're in the grip of a drinking epidemic. And then let's propose some retarded policies which our fun-loving Prime Minister and hateful butt-weevils like Dawn fucking Primarolo will jump at the chance of implementing.

'So what?' you may say. The measures outlined above are only going to inconvenience what's left of the pub industry. It's not going to affect how much you drink. Indeed it won't, and for that very reason you can be sure that harsher laws will soon follow. Because this is not about education, or even about moderation. It is about making drink - and, by association, drinkers - socially unacceptable. If these laws don't reduce overall consumption (and they won't) then "tougher" action will be required to "encourage" us to drink less.

As of this month, photos of diseased organs will be placed on every cigarette packet to "encourage" smokers to quit. By the bent logic of the health zealots, there is no reason why the same sort of images shouldn't be slapped on wine bottles. And if you think I'm indulging in the old slippery slope fallacy, I should tell you that it's already been suggested by the British Medical Association (and by their counterparts in Australia.)

Balls to logical fallacies. Don't give these bastards an inch.


Tim Carpenter said...

How about putting a picture of Gordon Brown's brain on the fag packets. THAT is a diseased organ.

p.s. the only sensible drinking message I would be happy with is "buy real ale", "stand your round" or "don't spill it".

Anonymous said...

Cromwell's legacy is that it is, to this day, illegal to eat a mince pie on Christmas day.

Perhaps that's why the ones currently on sale have expiry dates in November.

In another four hundred years, people will wonder why those drinking games they play in the privacy of their own homes are illegal and laugh at the primitive laws of the 21st century.

You know, Cromwell was already two years dead when they unravelled the mess he made. They dug him up and hung him anyway. Then put his head on a spike.

Never underestimate how pissed off the British can get.

Anonymous said...

Where is Guy Fawkes when he's needed..

Anonymous said...

"Never underestimate how pissed off the British can get."

T'was the English. There was no Britain or British then.

Sorry. I'm not a pernicketty old geezer. But I'm eager that the existence of England be acknowledged in these days of asymmetric devolution.

Anonymous said...

I've recently cut right back on my drinking, but it's shit like this that really makes me want to go out, get wankered and stick two fingers up to the lot of them...

John B said...

I know we don't normally agree, but this is fucking spot on. 24 hour drinking has been a success; and only a gibbering cuntrag who never goes out could possibly disagree that it's improved life overall.

(and the Anon who mentions the English is a dickhead in this context. The biggest thing that unites the cultures of the British Isles is our love of the whisk(e)y and gin, and it's the Daily-Maily English nationalists and the politicans who act as their craven apologists who're primarily seeking to Stop This Binge Drinking Menace...)

Anonymous said...

It's different nowadays, but in the interests of historical pedantry...

Anon 12:48 is right. It was the English civil war. Scotland and Ireland weren't in it (apart from mercenaries) until afterwards when Cromwell decided to expand his puritan lunacy, and Wales just took no notice, as usual, of things they didn't care about.

But the Scots, Welsh and Irish can go beyond the 'slightly miffed' stage even faster than the English. So if the English are getting angry, well...

Not a sheep said...

It is about CONTROL, these totalitarians want to control everything that happens in THEIR country; our freedoms are an impediment to their CONTROL and must be ended.

Shaun said...

Well when you've got a government that ignores the views of an esteemed panel of its own scientists in the shape of the Advisory Committee on the Misuse of Drugs, choosing instead to placate the Daily Mail and ignore evidence, reclassifying Cannabis, then the anhedonic mould has been set.

Its easier to blame people for dying than to tell them the truth that EVERYBODY DIES, even teetotal non-smokers. Oxygen eventually destroys your cells. Quick! Stop breathing! Get a health warning on the air...

Anonymous said...

They can put whatever pics they like on the wine bottle, I have standards and drink mine from a glass so I won't be looking anyway. If I want to down shots in the pub then I fucking well will do because you know what? When I've finished doing that I will be going home to fall asleep while still wearing my shoes, I will not be going out to vandalise the town centre, start a fight and assault a nurse. So they can take their Cromwellian shit and stuff it, the whole point of reachign the drinking age was so that I could make my own decision about what I drank, it wasn't so that some overpaid twat could make it for me.

Unknown said...

"john b" you are a twat. The 300th anniversary of the Act of Union was last year. Think about it. The Act of Union was 1707. Are you seriously trying to suggest that Cromwell was around in the 18th Century?

In other words, the anonymous poster was correct. It was the English, Scotland being (and for that matter remaining) a different country.

Anonymous said...

Those of us old enough can still rejoice in the memories of the splendidly stroppy George Brown, Labour deputy leader between 1960-1970, who so often appeared on tabloid front pages pissed and horizontal.

Who says piss-artistry is a new phenomenon?

Letters From A Tory said...

I'd love to see them try to ban drinking games - pubs would disappear overnight from every university campus!

Dr Evil said...

The abolitionists of America managed to persuade governments to outlaw drugs. They tried with alcohol too but messing with beer will end a government so swiftly their feet won't touch. It will also increase crime and lead to more improved ways of smuggling.

Old Holborn said...

"They tell us to watch what we say; They tell us to watch what we think; They tell us to watch what we eat; They tell us to watch what we drink; They tell us to watch the feral youth outside of our homes and prey they don't turn their attentions towards us; we avoid the imperious glances of the Police; we hide from council cronies with police powers; we watch a third of what we earn be spirited away to be graciously re-allocated to feckless pond life; we watch malevolent televised entities with plastic smiles and sincere tones shave away our freedoms one at a time; we watch and we despair."
Not funny, is it.

Dave said...

One- they tell us that "the science is proved". Just like passive smoking,global warming and all the other bollocks they spout to keep us scared.
Two- in this brave new world you body is no longer yours. It belongs to the state. You must look after it, keep it clean and regularly serviced until it finally falls apart. If you fail to do this, or show signs that you may be about to abuse this body, which belongs to the state, your body will be taken away from you, and broken up into spare parts for the benefit of more compliant members of society.

Why don't they just fuck off

Word verify
oo err missus

Anonymous said...

Tim Carpenter said: "How about putting a picture of Gordon Brown's brain on the fag packets."

The seed of an idea - put Gordon Brown's gurning face on fag packets and bottles of booze, along with details of just how much of the price goes into HM Government's pockets.

I'm surprised the tobacco and booze companies put up with this sort of thing.

Anonymous said...

I hope they include pictures of down-syndrome children with the warning 'Smoking when pregnant harms your baby!' With an accompanying TV campaign: "I smoked when I was pregnant, and I'm still changing nappies twenty years later!"

Anonymous said...

This is about creating a new black economy.Smuggling..first drugs..very profitable..then cigs..catching up..now booze.These are terrific money making opportunities.Italys black economy is estimated at about 30% of there GDP.The kids will love it. Anything banned is great..you know it makes sense.

johnny nunsuch said...

You know what will be next don't you - sex no fucking without a permit AND only who the state says you can shag

Who votes these FUCKWITS in ?

As a previous poster said where's Guy Fawkes when you need him

Anonymous said...

This will go a long way to pleasing our muslim freinds soon to be our masters when sharia law takes over.
Anyway, by now we should know being alive and breathing is enough enjoyment for anyone, anything more will be deemed hedonistic and therefore evil. Have we not learnt anything from our socialist masters ? (tut)

pagar said...

It's a sypmtom of how far we've come down the totalitarian road that I don't feel any real rage in the comments on this.

Think about it. They are telling us what we can and cannot name a drink. They are trying to influence how quickly we can drink it.

They are fucking with our basic freedoms and I get the impression we are prepared to roll over we are so shell shocked by their constant meddling in our lives.

Where's the rage? Give us a fucking tantrum DK, that's why I read your blog.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Well said Pagar & great rant (as always) Filthy Smoker.

I read that article out in an office today and everyone was in stitches. There is still this clinging belief that we are talking mad 1980s 'nuclear free' councils banning 'baa baa black sheep' and that it isn't harmful. They haven't quite got it yet that these fuckers are deadly serious! And it WILL happen whether you protest or not. Labour dispensed with democratic process the day after 2 million people marched on London to protest Iraq and they just shrugged their shoulders and said "so?"

Worse is that the normally apoplectic tabloids will no longer turn a hair. They haven't about the smoking ban as most of them don't smoke. They SHOULD be up in arms the moment a publican gets prosecuted for selling a drink named 'Sex on the Beach' but they won't. Like the office workers' outlook, they'll just print it as a laugh story and completely miss the sinister intent that comes with the rules.

Only a series of riots will solve this fucking serious problem, but that urge has been cleverly educated out of anyone under 30.

Check mate. Cheers you authoritarian Nazi cunts.

Paul Lockett said...

A slippery slope argument is only a fallacy if you assume that A will lead to B, C and Z without any supporting evidence.

The last ten years have provided plenty of examples where we've started at A and ended up at Z, so it isn't a fallacy, it's a conclusion drawn from bitter experience.

Anonymous said...

Drinking is only a public problem for those drinkers who carry it to excess and trash the place. Simple old fashioned solution, lock them in a police cell until they sober up and make them clear up the mess the following morning. End of story.

There are private problems from drinking to excess.... but thats for individuals to make their own decisions on not for politicans to moralise about and boss us all about.

daggoogle said...

I KNEW this was going to happen when Labour came to power. I told all and sundry, and would they bloody listen? Peter Simple had it right years ago when he warned about people using the term 'loony Left'. They weren't loonies then and they're not loonies now. What they are is pinched, misanthropic scumbags who revel in the low-grade misery they inflict on the rest of us. Dr Ian bloody Gilmore is usually at the forefront of these things. God I'd like to punch him in the windpipe and then kick him in the balls on the way down. Why can't these people just fucking leave us alone? It's not for my 'own good' and even if it were, that is no justification for such prodnosed, presumptuous rules on what and how I can drink. Is the so-called 'binge-drinking culture' really having such a baleful effect on society at large? Or has it been used as a casus belli by the latter-day Roundheads? I'd bet the latter.

Two quotes come to mind. First, H. L. Mencken: "Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretence of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel." Second, J. S. Mill: "…the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant. He cannot rightfully be compelled to do or forbear because it will be better for him to do so, because it will make him happier, because, in the opinions of others, to do so would be wise, or even right These are good reasons for remonstrating with him, or reasoning with him, or persuading him or entreating him, but not for compelling him, or visiting him with any evil, in case he do otherwise. To justify that, the conduct from which it is desired to deter him must be calculated to produce evil to some one else. The only part of the conduct of any one, for which he is amenable to society, is that which concerns others. In the part which merely concerns himself, his independence is, of right, absolute. Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign."

Christ, I'm so glad I emigrated. If I still lived there I'd be packing my bags and checking flight information.

Anonymous said...

as the ten greats grandson of old knoll can I ask that you don't bring my famly in to this.
suffice to say we believe that king gordon cnut is just that and if oliver had this problem he would of sorted it.

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