Tuesday, September 16, 2008

On navel-gazing, hair-splitting, bollock-juggling and angels on the head of a pin

Note: I am not the Devil!

I've been fascinated by all the jiggery-pokery about Gorgon Brownshirt and his merry men all lining themselves up for a great big feast of mutual back-stabbing, careful-phrasing and generally all-round cuntwaftery.

And I don't mind telling you, I really am not in the slightest bit impressed.

What has the business of politics come to when everything depends on the level of sophistry and nth-degree-analysis of what was said and, more importantly, what was not said. And who said it, and at what time, and what aftershave he was wearing and so on and so forth.

For fuck's sake you cunts: you're supposed to be running the fucking country, not a fucking student union! Have none of you fuckers got the courage of your convictions? Is no-one going to just fucking stand up and say what they mean, plainly and clearly? Let your yea be your yea and your nay be your nay?

Anybody still got their principles*?

What is this shit? How the fuck are we supposed to have any fucking confidence in your ability to a) run the country; b) report the facts and c) achieve anything when you're spending your entire day pondering the implications of what wasn't said?

Labour politicians: shit, or get off the fucking pot.
Media analysts: Stop pandering to this cockmongering.

Let's stop fucking about and get on with stuff: there's a fucking recession on, remember? Cunts.

* You do remember what principles are, don't you?


Anonymous said...

Greetings! First post on the blog...

Tbh, I couldn't be happier about the backstabbing in ZNL. Think about it, the more time they spend sticking the knives into each other, the less time they spend fucking up the country even further.
Plus, they'll be too busy to implement the inevitable cack-handed attempts to aid the economy during the recession a la Northern Wreck.

John Pickworth said...

You've nailed my thoughts perfectly DK.

Seems even 'musical chairs' is beyond the fools, nevermind running the country.

I suggest DK's excellent post be mailed to every sitting Labour MP (urgently).

Anonymous said...

Clown by name, clown by nature.

And a twat too. Well, you'll find similar twatish company on this blog.

Lost in Devon said...

Mr Pickworth:

That wasn't DK.


Nothing constructive to say? Don't like the blog? Well fuck off then.

Anonymous said...


Are you sure that you are not Devil's Kitchen? You seem to be working from the same thesaurus as DK. Heh.

Old Holborn said...


Name your cabinet

Obnoxio The Clown said...

@Old Holborn: Pick them at random.

Anonymous said...

Of course they've got principle(s) you red nosed nitwit (actually just the one) and, it's "We've got to be in power to do what is right therefore, we have to be unprincipled if that's what it takes to stay/be in power." QED.

The Cameroons share the same principle(s).

Hence 'Spin Rules, OK?'.

John Pickworth said...

Lost in Devon said...
"Mr Pickworth:

That wasn't DK."

Correction noted - thanks.

And thanks also 'Obnoxio The Clown' for a brilliant post; which I hope still lands in every Labour MP's inbox.

I'm so sick of hearing that the public isn't interested in whether Brown is leader when that is so obviously not what they're saying... dump the fool and give us a leader that can actually lead.

Anonymous said...

lost in devon - I took your advice, fucked off and read your blog. It would appear you're a twat and a cunt too. But you excel at being an ignorant cunt and a bad writer to boot. Well done for publically proclaiming your idiocy, if you had a mother she would be so proud.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Don't get me wrong: I'm fucking delighted that Brownshirt is getting nailed to a tree, I just don't want to hear the media agonising over and wittering on about every pregnant pause as though it presages the second coming or something.

The useless fuckers should either launch their regicide campaign or help themselves to a great big slice of Shut The Fuck Up cake.

The deference that the media is giving to this utter farce just shows how they've got their heads up each others' collective arseholes like some kind of extreme German fist-fucking film.

@anonymous: where's your blog then, you superhero?

Anonymous said...

obnoxio - where's your solution, your manifesto and your government then you fucking genius?

Anonymous said...

anonymous, are you Gordon Browns lover?

Are you the man who stretches his arsehole for him? Are you Ed Balls?

Obnoxio is a gifted commentator and if you bothered to read his blog you might of read some of the suggestions he has previously espoused.

You on the other hand are a TWAT see i put it in capitals so you would not have to lower your monobrowed sloped forehead to close to the screen to read it. Also dont worry about typing a reply as im sure your knuckles must hurt from dragging on the floor you cockmonkey. If the drool on your keyboard has dried out enough and your carer has put your spas style head probe back on then i suggest you head over to obnoxio's blog and have a read. Digest it, savour it, enjoy it then fuck off die and get eaten by rabid goats you aids ridden, syphallitic, mongoloid prick.

Have a nice day Fucktard

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:19 -

obnoxio - where's your solution, your manifesto and your government then you fucking genius?

Look out - it's the Brown Gorgon fishing for something to present at the Labour sabbat.

I don't think the ideas here will go down at all well with your Righteous brethren, Gorgon. They involve people thinking for themselves and taking responsibility for their own lives.

In other words, anathema to all three main parties.

Stick around, Anon. Eventually you might find it within you to shrug off the mantle of the Collective and become a real person with your very own identity.

Then you won't have to be Anonymous any more.

Won't that be nice?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said..."where's your solution, your manifesto and your government?"

1. Leave the EU - saving £40 billion +

2. Scrap ID cards/database - saving £20 billion

3. Scrap the NHS spine- saving £12 billion

4. Scrap all tax credits put all savings(from cash and bureaucracy) into increased personal allowances

5. Scrap NI and roll it into income tax (savings in bureaucracy)

6. Scrap VAT and replace with a local sales tax (same result but simpler)

for starters

Obnoxio The Clown said...

where's your solution, your manifesto and your government then you fucking genius?

Here's one possible solution.

My "manifesto" can be read here.

My government? I don't want one. A very wise man once said: "Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

Lost in Devon said...


Thanks ever so much for the feedback. You're right, by the way; I am a complete cunt, and proud of it. You're not the first to point it out, and probably won't be the last.

As far as the blog goes, I don't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks. Being a bad writer doesn't make one an idiot, though. Maybe you'd like to prove me wrong?

Anonymous said...

For all I quite enjoy watching the hive mind of The Borg aka NuLab fall apart ever more on a daily basis I can't help but agree with your overall sentiment.

Good 1st post.

Anonymous said...

Obnoxio - I said manifesto, not the witterings of some twattish 14 year old pre-pubescent more concerned with bursting his yellow pustules than stringing a coherent sentence together. Libertarians can't even find it within themselves to work out how to field a candidate at an election. Yet you lecture me on how things could be run! I give you full marks for comedy value.

Devon - it doesn't necessarily follow that being a bad writer makes you an idiot, but it's a pretty good indicator. And in your case it's practically foolproof.

Leg iron - oh how I pissed myself laughing reading that shite. People like you thinking for yourselves? It would be nice, but I fear medical science is simply too far off finding a way for that to happen.

Jude Calvert-Toulmin said...

i've addded you to my blog list DK. superb writing. why any of you bother to even acknowledge that anonymous loser is beyond me though. anonymity = lame cowardice. you should ignore the fucker.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

I'm still waiting breathlessly to see your blog, anonymous.

Anonymous said...

I hope Budgie is in Cons Central Office, but sadly I doubt it.
A different anonymous,obviously.

Anonymous said...

Obnoxio - I'm terribly sorry to hear about your emphysema, but don't let my non-blogging hold up your fielding a credible candidate for election. I would hate to think I was holding you back from having your 'policies' endorsed with wild acclaim by the populace.

Anonymous said...


You seem to be a species of attention seeker.

Here is some attention for you: You are a cunt.

I recommend standing manfully with your fists on your hips and some hefy lead weights attached to your knob.

Then maintain the posture for a couple of years.

Roger Thornhill said...

Since when has NL fielded a credible candidate? For all their "power" they have been scrabbling around like the bunch of self-interested losers they are. At least the Libertarian Party is solvent!

As for principles, the Cabinet cannot forget what they never knew.

Anonymous said...

I've said it elsewhere but it bears repeating.

There's nothing useful the Government can do about the economy at the moment and anything they try is just going to end up costing me money so the further they disappear up their own back sides the better.

...ang there is the amusing irony value of having our inglorious leader appeal for party loyalty!

Trixy said...

Anon: Initially when reading your comments the phrase 'takes one to know one' springs to mind. Then I guessed you didn't have one.

I guess instead of writing you spend your time jumping from blog to blog, frantic with jealousy at the people who are doing something you clearly aren't capable of.

You'd be a very interesting subject for psychological analysis.

Oh, and feel free to call me all the names under the sun. Am used to it, and am sure you'll fit in very well with the others who do it.

Oswald Bastable said...

You would want to be anonymous if you were the one that posed for the Goatsee pictures!

Anonymous said...

But Trixy, I could never do that to you and I certainly will not write a word against you. So you see presumption is a dreadfully blunt analytical tool.

And as for jumping from blog to blog, well often it's better to travel than to arrive. Particularly where some blogs are concerned.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

@anonymous: feel free to take the "sex and travel option" then.

Anonymous said...

obnoxio: I'm grateful for your advice, and I pay particular tribute to you for responding. Typing with your toes can't be easy, yet you persevere. Well done.

Anonymous said...

Top swearing all round chaps!
@anon: you're a troll and a coward.

Old Holborn said...


You are a tepid gloop of bishop felch

Please refer to Arkell v. Pressdram

Anonymous said...

I salute you Sir. Well said.

Amusingly we keep hearing that Gordy's fellow wankstains are 'right behind him'. Indeed they are, because not one of the spineless shits has got the spuds to knife him face to face, they'd rather stick it in his back

Anonymous said...

old holborn: I'm blushing now, does that mean you love me? You're so cute.

Anonymous said...

With regards to Anon... It's almost like a certain European Socialist gained half a brain and grammatical skills. Same personal attacks towards people but surprisingly no accusations of 'NAZI PAEDO', 'racims', or claims of an enormously inflated IQ and 'postgrad skills'.

Or maybe I'm just pushing the boat out too far...

Either way, bugger off to a blog that actually wants you.

Anonymous said...

Lay off Gordon will you?

Anyone can see the man's a genius. He has a vision for us. He told us that himself. He was promised the job as PM and he had to wait ten bloody years for it, so he isn't going to give it up now is he? Not just because some spongers in the Labour party think he's no good.

He chose the cabinet and now some of them are turning against him, just because the nation is having a bit of a hard time. Hardly Gordon's fault is it? With Gordon's help we will all be led by a great man and governed for years to come by a kind, considerate, thoughtful government who have nothing but our best interests at heart.

(Anonymous, is this okay? Let me know, once you have stopped masturbating over your pin-ups of Gordon please. Thanks)

Anonymous said...

The 'handful' are beyond belief. When interviewed, all they do, ever, is express their wish for leadership election. They never have the guts to say explicitly that they want Gordon to go.

I wonder if, after suffering so many years of Brown's abuse, they are suffering from Battered Party Syndrome.

Not that I'm criticising them over rebelling -I hope the Stalinist cunt gets booted out in disgrace.

Anonymous said...

Could it be? A literate Leftie?

Anonymous, I stand amazed. I never thought to see such a thing. Even if good old DES was pumped full of all the omega-3 oil in the world and had a thesaurus installed in the space otherwise reserved for brain, he would still fall short of your dancing vocabulary.

Pity you're such a bitter coward. If you were a real person, you'd be worth sparring with.

Oh - before you come back with some superb Shakespearean witticism involving 'pissing yourself reading this shite', I'll just let you know that I'm not actually a member of this or any other party.

So, who does my thinking for me? Do tell.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said..."I hope Budgie is in Cons Central Office, but sadly I doubt it."

Make your mind up.

Leaving the EU is not Tory policy so I am not likely to be in "Cons Central" - duh!

Anonymous said...

The anonymous troll is Sunny Hundal and I claim my £5.

Anonymous said...

Leg-iron. Dear, dear leg-iron. You write "So, who does my thinking for me? Do tell".

Now come on. At least have the decency to make it challenging for me. There's just no sport in responding to that line.

Anyway, you've already caused me to visit the dry cleaner once today. It's not every day I get lectured on the evils of anonymity by someone wearing what appears to be a gimp mask.

Anonymous said...

Now come on. At least have the decency to make it challenging for me. There's just no sport in responding to that line.

Nice deflection. As far as I can see, you haven't responded to any line from any commenter. Diversion, deflection, derision. The usual fare. With, admittedly, considerably more evidence of education that the standard Anonymous. That's encouraging. I was beginning to think all Anonymous trolls were the same person.

I realise you're a legend in your own mind, and yet I repeat the question. Who thinks for me? If it's such an unchallenging question it won't take a moment of your time to respond. One word will do. A name, a title, a corporation?

Good to see you dropped by my place. Gimp masks are beyond my experience but I understand they are usually leather. Mine is steel. If that makes you wet yourself again, I believe there is a group somewhere who enjoy wearing adult-sized nappies. Perhaps they'd sell you some.

chris said...

Great post Obnoxio, the problem is that Gordon Brown is 'getting on with the job' that he was drawn into politics to do. He is spending every waking hour on his personal crusade to further cause of Gordon Brown. That is his mission, just as the mission that New Labour was set up to perform was to get into power and stay there. In its own terms it is doing pretty well, unfortunately for us the people that have to live under its rule and pay for its bribes.

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