Oh sweet Jesus.
Smokers will be stopped in the street and asked to take a carbon monoxide test in London's most hard-hitting anti-smoking campaign.
'Smoking police' will target people at betting shops, bus stops and shopping centres to shock them into giving up cigarettes.
Ealing Primary Care Trust, which is funding the £75,000 scheme, said it could help 2,400 people to give up.
A team of 11 young people have been employed to approach smokers, in a similar way to charity fund-raisers - nicknamed 'chuggers' - who ask passers-by for donations.
Project spokeswoman Fran Pearce admitted: "They will have to be careful when approaching smokers in case they become aggressive."
Do you think?!
They will be asked to breathe into a monitor to show how much carbon monoxide is in their bodies, and could then be signed up to local stop-smoking services and given access to counsellors.This can't be real, can it? Nobody could propose such a thing could they?
No. I see it all now. I'm asleep and this is all just a dream. Soon I'm going to wake up and find that the last few years haven't happened. It's all been a very vivid, very scary dream but none of it's real.
It going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright.
UPDATE! As has been pointed out by Ambush Predator, - quoting the Beeb's glowing report - Stephen Pound MP is four square behind this bullshit:
But prize comment of the article goes to, you guessed it, a reformed smoker and Nu Labour mouthpiece:The local Labour MP in Ealing, Stephen Pound, famously kicked his cigarette habit of 40 years after voting to back the ban on smoking in enclosed public places.Nice use of language there...
He is all for going after smokers on the street.
"You've now got this new phenomenon. These self-affirming groups of outlaws huddled around, outside buildings, and what they do is reinforcing their addiction more and more.
"So I think we need to confront - which is not too harsh a word.
"People are happier having given up smoking, therefore lets spread a bit of happiness and make a bit of a nuisance of ourselves on the highways and byways of west London."
I'm reminded of an Orwell quote:Many people genuinely do not want to be saints, and it is probable that some who achieve or aspire to sainthood have never felt much temptation to be human beings.
It's not just that these scumfucks don't care about overstepping the mark. They simply do not accept that there is any mark to overstep.
And, unless you have been living on another planet for the last few years, you will be well aware that they're not stopping with smokers...
Last week some of these workers were out in another part of London talking to teenagers about chlamydia and asking them for urine samples for screening.
These people are, quite literally, taking the piss.