The French president said: "When I left the house yesterday Carla said to me, 'if you can end the war in Georgia I will do that thing that makes you quack like a duck.
"I cannot actually tell you what it is, other than to say it involves a balaclava, a butternut squash and three feet of clingfilm. And Carla Bruni in the buff, obviously."
Mr Sarkozy said the incentive helped him to maintain a 'laser-like focus' throughout the negotiations.
"If at any point I felt a peace deal was in jeopardy, I simply pictured my wife soaping herself. Worked like a charm."
Whilst this may, indeed, have been a carrot for M. Sarkozy, may I suggest that his success was down to something a little more saucy? Might I suggest, in fact, that M. Sarkozy's negotiating skills were augmented in a similar manner as that of the gentleman in the video below...?
Indeed. Perhaps Gordo should try it...