Tamsin Dunwoody, Labour’s unsuccessful candidate at the recent by-election caused by the death of her mother Gwyneth, tells Mandrake that she will not put her name forward for the general election.
“It’s the hardest decision I’ve had to make in my political life,” she says. “I’d love to have done it, but the simple truth is that I can’t physically afford to move up there from west Wales with my five children and give the seat my full-time commitment.”
She adds: “I’ve not been able to find a job since losing my seat in the Welsh Assembly a year ago and I don’t have a pot of gold, so I can’t just go off and do what I want. People don’t like to employ ex-politicians, especially Labour ones like me who might unionise.”
Alas, I cannot find the story but, some years ago, I remember seeing that scientists had used a laser to make a perfect but microscopic model of a bull. It was a good wee statuette, full of life, but very, very, very tiny.
Scientists have now gone further, and make even more miniature stuff; indeed, if you listen carefully you can even hear the results. That's right, ladies and gentlemen; scientists have made the world's smallest fucking violin, and it's playing just for you,
In the meantime, we continue to pay ridiculous amounts of money—the salary alone is three times the median wage, and that's before we even start counting those expenses—to politicians who claim that they would be paid far more in the "real world".
Really? So where's Tamsin Dunwoody's lucrative position? Oh, look! she hasn't got one. This is because—like most people in government—she is stupid, lazy, corrupt, ignorant, irritating, talentless and ugly.
Never mind, Tamsin: I hear that Labour's New Deal has been a tremendous success: I'm sure that you will find something soon...