Friday, June 20, 2008

Prosecute these fraudulent scum

Guido has been doing sterling work in his PorkBusters series, in which he documents the continual and shameless fraud perpetrated by our political class. Today Guido provides a summary of the offences of two pairs of the most egregious offenders who show that—in terms of lies, deceit, and bare-faced fucking chutzpah—the Tories are just as bad as NuLabour.
The mortgage on the Winterton's Belgravia flat purchased in the mid-nineties was paid by the taxpayers for a decade. However the generosity of the taxpayers wasn't enough for them...

By 2002 they were the owners of a now mortgage free property in very good repair (we paid for the repairs) worth some £700,000, yet the Wintertons had a problem. There was no longer a mortgage to justify a housing allowance, meaning that tens of thousands of pounds that they had been claiming annually would no longer be claimable.

The Wintertons transferred the property to a trust to avoid £280,000 inheritance tax - a not unusual arrangement - however their arrangement had a twist. They themselves are the trustees, their children are the beneficiaries. The trustees (the Wintertons) charged the tenants (the Wintertons) £21,600 a year rent, which was paid by the taxpayer (you).

That arrangement over five years would, by Guido's estimation, net them the trust £108,000 tax free, equivalent before tax to £180,000 to an ordinary taxpayer. The Standards and Privileges Committee has ruled that those payments are against the rules.

So will the estimated £108,000 paid to their own trust be repaid to the taxpayer? If not, why not?

Because it's only taxpayers' money, eh? It just falls from the fucking sky, doesn't it? It's not as though it represents the blood, sweat and toil of hundreds of people, is it?

Oh, no, wait a second: yes, it fucking well does.

Fuck it: this is fraud. Prosecute these stinking fucking cunts: prosecute them for fraud and then imprison them, confiscate the property and pay the money back to the public purse. Why the fuck should these fucking whores be able to enrich themselves illegally at our expense?

And on to the next bunch of fraudsters.
Ed and Yvette Balls are Labour's equivalent to the Wintertons. Mr and Mrs Balls are paid by the taxpayers quarter-of-a-million a year between them to ride around in ministerial limos, yet so hard done by are they that they still need to claim tens of thousands extra in mortgage subsidy on top. The cabinet pair have registered their North London house as a 'second home' under parliamentary rules, entitling them to allowances of up to £43,200 a year to subsidise their £438,000 mortgage.

The home in Yorkshire nearer to their constituencies was previously called their second home. But by simply declaring their more expensive London house to be their secondary residence, they can claim more money from taxpayers. The rules state that their primary residence, against which they cannot claim, is the home in which they are ordinarily resident. They spend most of their time in London at their "second home" and their kids go to schools locally. When Andrew Neil recently challenged Ed Balls about this live on television, Ed said "it is complicated". No it isn't, it is a fiddle to extract more pork out of the taxpayer. They are defrauding the taxpayers by lying as to where their primary residence is actually located. Shamelessly.

They have in the past done the now commonplace ruse of re-mortgaging a home that has had the mortgage paid down by the taxpayers subsidy to realise profits as well. By lying that their main home is actually their second home they are now entitled to hit up the taxpayer for any appliances they can buy in John Lewis, household repairs, kitchen re-fits and even groceries.

Again, this is outright fraud: prosecute these cunts. Bugger Lord Levy, how about bringing a private prosecution against these couple of pairs of cunts? Are there any barristers out there who would do this pro bono (and it is)?

These bastards are stealing our money (twice over) and then metaphorically slapping our faces with their cocks: and the reason that these bastards keep on doing this is because we keep on letting the cunts get away with it. Bring a private prosecution, imprison and impoverish a few of them and they might just get the message that we object to them stealing our fucking cash.

Finally, Guido highlights the difference between how the authorities treat our Lords and Masters, and how they treat their serfs.
Compare the treatment of the troughing Wintertons to the treatment of an unfortunate researcher working for an MP (Guido knows her identity). She was over-paid an extra month after she terminated her employment with an MP. She thought it was her termination bonus. Some months later she was contacted by the very same Fees Office asking for re-payment. She explained she thought it was her bonus, and that she had spent it and could only afford to repay it in installments. The Fees Office refused to accept her offer and are currently taking her to Court for a mistake not of her making. A very different kind of justice for her...

These people are just fucking scum. As I said to Keith Hill MP, in a different context,
Really, I expected nothing more from you: you are, after all, a politician and, as such, a pretty poor specimen of humanity.

When I said "pretty poor", of course, I mean that these people are the lowest of the fucking low and should be kicked through the streets of Westminster, the bunch of evil, little bastards.

They should then be gathered into a great big stone cellar and the doors firmly locked. Imagine the sweat and confusion! And imagine the fear as, through holes in the ceiling, forty three nests full of buzzing, angry Asian giant hornets are dropped into the room.

The screams and pleading would last for hours and I, for one, would watch stoney-faced as, one by one, these arseholes succumb to the repeated and excruciating stings of the furious insects...

UPDATE: I was having an argument with The Dude a couple of weeks ago, and the gist of it went like this...
Jackart: I'm not that worried about the expenses thing. After all, everyone fiddles their expenses.

DK: I don't.

Jackart: Yeah, but everyone does it so we should expect our MPs to do it too, and everyone does it.

DK: No. They. Don't. I have never fiddled my expenses, or my overtime. Ever. Call it a fear of being caught if you like, but I prefer to call it honesty because that's what actually motivates me: if I fiddle my expenses then I am damaging the company and, untimately then, myself.

Besides, fiddling your expenses is theft: I thought that we libertarians were against theft?

Further, just because "everybody does it" doesn't make it right. If everyone had murdered someone, would that make it right? If everyone had raped someone, would that make it right?

The final—and least substantive—point is that I am not trying to tell other people how they should live their lives; I am not legislating to control the behaviour of other people whilst deliberately breaking the law myself. With malice aforethought.

Fuck them: fuck them right in the ear and then cum in their eyes. Fuck them all.

I just thought that I'd pass that on...


Old Holborn said...

German TV report of fat fucking MEP's signing on early to claim a whole days pay

Anonymous said...

God, how I hate these thieving fucking cunts

Anonymous said...

No you wouldn't. Your face would probably be a picture of laughter and delight as you watched the insects do their work. I'd suggest taking along some strong alcohol and allowing some to splash down into the holes and onto the raw wounds.

The Filthy Smoker said...

Lovely quote from some EU-defending Labour MP on Five Live this morning:

"I don't think referendums (sic) are particularly democratic."

Their contempt for us is total.

Anonymous said...

Hmm nice, but I think the Hornets would be too quick. These scum fucks really deserve a lot worse..

I reckon slowly lower each one of them into some sort of machinery, genitals first...

Have you heard of the dreaded Candiru fish, not sure if it's an urban legend or not but if not....


Devil's Kitchen said...


No, the candiru fish is not an urban legend.

And have I heard of it? Well, you may want to look up The Kitchen's candiru fish craziness label...


Anonymous said...

Like most members of the public, MPs show their human frailties.

I am sure that most of us sitting in a job where the electoral system guarantees 75% of them their jobs no matter what they do, would find their expenses starting to get a tad generous as the years roll by.

We know builders rob old grannies, posties thieve our dvds, mechanics deliberately break our cars and charge us for the privilege, company directors pay themselves millions out of our pension funds for doing toss all, Sky Sports won't let you cancel once you subscribe, the AA refuse to give refunds on insurance even 1 day into the year's premium and that haulier unions screw all they can get as well. As the sex pistols said - 'no-one is innocent' but perhaps it is about time 'someone' took the blame.

Anonymous said...

How can cunts metaphorically or otherwise belabour one in the face with their cocks. Someone needs to sort out physical characteristics.

Not a sheep said...

So what eh Balls?

Anonymous said...

You depress me DK. I always under charge my expenses than over charge. For they are seen by me not as a perk or new income... but... well.... an irritating chore of expenses.

It is like my conversation with a female I would like to be friends with but cannot trust when she says purchasing counterfeit DVDs is OK because the original sellers charge too much. I state don't buy them then and feed the criminal underworld, and my wisdom falls on deaf ears.
Self-centred people rule the country.
I think Socialism kills off half the brain so there is no counter-intuition, only a mantra of undeserved riches to keep us asleep.
We're screwed.

Anonymous said...

I'm not too sure about the insect final solution either. I think I would prefer it if every taxpayer went out for a curry and a five lagers and then used the holes to have a dump through, drowning the fuckers slowly in taxpayers' fecal matter. And we would, of course, all remember to wipe properly, using pages from the Guardian or New Statesman.

Anonymous said...

I woke up feeling quite sanguine this morning. Then I came across your blog. (Not literally). Now I'm fucking angry! If there's not a flayed Winterton strung up on Westminster Bridge by tea time then I have let you down. Oh, fuck it - I'm going back to bed.

Anonymous said...


We know builders rob old grannies [and when caught get sent to jail], posties thieve our dvds [and when caught get sent to jail], mechanics deliberately break our cars and charge us for the privilege [and when caught get sent to jail], company directors pay themselves millions out of our pension funds for doing toss all [a matter for the trustees, no?], Sky Sports won't let you cancel once you subscribe [read the contract, stupid], the AA refuse to give refunds on insurance even 1 day into the year's premium [read the contract, stupid] and that haulier unions screw all they can get as well [my, my, a group of people engaging in collective negotiation for an increase in salary are committing fraud, are they?].

Not a single one of your examples is the equivalent of a body of people who defraud the public out of significant sums and then, when caught, are not only spared prison, but continue to extort further funds with impunity.

And, like the Devil, I have never, ever, over claimed on my expenses (of course, I work for a public body which more often than not secures convictions and jail time for the consequently very small number of its members who defraud the public purse for far smaller sums).

I don't think it is too much to expect probity from our elected representatives.

Keatonmask said...

The dude was just here having a beer, if I had read this before he left avec missus I would have told him what a cunt he sounded.

Jack, you sound like a cunt. I'll come round and tell you in person tomorrow.

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