12 June 2008
Dear Prime Minister,
So you won your vote on 42 days' detention without charge last night: the newspapers tell us that you were so pleased with yourself that you kissed Jacqui Smith and slapped your whips on the back. I suppose that in the strange world in which you live, this is indeed a suitable way to celebrate a whipped parliament trashing our Ancient Liberties.
You bang on constantly about 'Britishness' and yet it is clear that you do not have the faintest idea of what this embodies. If you cannot comprehend that the concept of personal liberty underlying Habeas Corpus is central to what has made these islands special, why not just admit your intellectual and emotional deficiency (not to say historical ignorance) and announce formally the introduction of a soviet-style justice system complete with gulags and re-education camps?
It is said, perhaps inaccurately, that you are bemused by your plummeting popularity: ask yourself whether this might not be in some way connected with the fact that the British have never liked being ruled by arrogant, self-righteous authoritarians and that the concept of 'don't do as I do, do as I say' has always been anathema in these islands.
You really don't understand the British at all do you?
Yours, sincerely in the belief that you are utterly unfit to be Prime Minister,
I think that says all that needs to be said, and not a swearword to be seen. Although, of course, I fear that many British people are happy to be ruled by authoritarians wherein their own petty prejudices are concerned, as we saw with the ban on drinking alcohol on the Tube.
Perhaps the British of yore, lovers of freedom, have been replaced by doppelgangers in a sinister, real-life recreation of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.
Or maybe these stout yeomen never existed at all...