Sunday, June 08, 2008

Batshit: battered to shit

As regular readers of The Kitchen (if there are any left after my recent longeurs) will be aware your humble Devil is most emphatically not a fan of David "Batshit" Miliband; I think that he is an odious little turd with all of the intelligence and charisma of a lump of dog-shit.

Few have so succinctly summed up Batshit as pithily as the poor little Greek boy in this barn-storming encomium to the chinless wonder that is our Foreign Secretary.
David Miliband is the sort of guy that we used, in our un-PC schooldays, to describe as a spastic. He was the kid on the chess team that you bullied incessantly (or at least, you did if you were a bully when you were at school; I myself was, er, on the chess team). His is an eminently punchable face; the sort of face you want to grab and hold down in the toilet for flush after gleeful flush, roaring with joy that there are such geeks in the world for you to torment. Cameron, for all that he comes across as a toff, is seen by many neutral observers as a likeable kind of bloke. Miliband, on the other hand, looks like what he is; a policy wonk with no friends.

However, what I hadn't considered is the proposition put forward by ChickenYoghurt: that Batshit might be the personification of the American Dream translated to our own fair isle.
Part of the American Dream, or at least used to be before you needed millions and millions of dollars to do it, is that anybody can become President.

After watching Foreign Secretary David Miliband’s unbelievably poor appearance on Question Time last night, I wonder if we’re not importing the idea into Britain. You read and listen to the political gossips touting Miliband as a future Labour leader and Prime Minister and you realise: Yes! It’s perfectly apparent that literally anybody could become Prime Minister.

You watch him and it gives hope for us all. Who couldn’t be that feckless and inarticulate and evasive and mealy-mouthed and weaselly?

It's an interesting thesis and here, via Mike Power, is a taster of just how vulnerable Batshit is; watch with delight as Peter Hitchens rips the bastard a new arsehole.

Rather beautiful, no?


Anonymous said...

all the slimy little turd could do was look down and shake his head.

If he is the next leader of lab they are truly fubar.

Anonymous said...

Miliband used to play the clarinet in the puppet band in the Sound of Music. It's true. Spot him about 1:07 seconds in to the Lonely Goatherd.

The strings are hidden better since those days, but somebody still has their hand up his backside.

Anonymous said...

I really dislike this man. He's got no convictions, no backbone, and, although I know we shouldn't judge on appearances, is damned ugly too.

He's been pushed to an unnaturally prominent position by those in the Labour Party who dislike Gordon Brown but don't have the balls to step up themselves. He's a puppet. But it obviously says something about the dire state of the Labour Party if he is the best puppet they can find in a party full of slimy, spineless characters.

Anonymous said...

punch me would you? and i was thinking what an unexpected pleasure it was to see you at the natural history museum.


Anonymous said...

Hitchens makes a good general point, somewhat undermined by being ludicrously wrong about the falling tortoise thing. You are really much more likely to die in a terrorist attack, as many people have been. I have only ever heard of one Greek bloke who succumbed to a tortoise-bombing. I think it was Aeschylus.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I've just played this to my kids. Of course, as teenagers they were throughly bored by it but I just wanted to show them the novelty of someone in this country actually telling the truth.

Anonymous said...

He does look rather like a badly shaved gibbon.

What a complete CUNT.

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