Thursday, May 08, 2008

A humble suggestion

Yet more grinding of pointed teeth occurred when your humble Devil saw another article about MPs' expenses in his morning Metro...
Forcing MPs to publish their exp­enses is a 'substantial intrusion' into their private lives, the High Court heard.

Disclosing a detailed breakdown of their claims for running a second home, including addresses, might attract 'the mad and the bad', Nigel Griffin QC said.

'They might simply not want the world to know the details of how they were furnishing their home in some particular respect,' he added.

Well, might I humbly suggest that—if this is the case—that MPs do not use taxpayers' fucking cash to buy their furnishings?

Look, you thieving cunts, if you don't want to reveal details about your second homes and your various other scams expenses then might I suggest that you do not maintain and furnish them with our. Fucking. Money.

If, however, you are spending an average of more than twice your salary on expenses then I think that the public has a right to know what the fucking hell you have bought with those expenses.

And here's a cracker of a sentence from the BBC.
The Commons authorities argued in court earlier that MPs had a reasonable expectation that there would not be full disclosure of expenses—only their total expenses.

Well, I'm afraid that, as far as I am concerned, that's tough titties, sunshine. After all, if the promises that you bastards make to us in order to get yourselves elected are "not subject to legitimate expectation" then what makes you think that anything else is? You know what they say: "live by the sword, die by the sword".

Or rather—in the case of you corrupt fuckers—"live by the sword, die by the rope"; traditionally, sword-death is only for the highborn: you bastards should be hanged like the common criminals that you are.


Anonymous said...

Publishing expenses is fine but publishing addresses is totally unnecessary and could be dangerous.

Old Holborn said...


That doesn't stop my name and address appearing on the electoral role, does it? I'm not allowed to vote if it isn't.

Whilst our elected representatives refuse to live under the same regime as the rest of us, why should they treat us with anything other than contempt?

RfS said...

Intrusion? I can publish my expenses right here:

2 return tickets from Glagow to Edinburgh last week, 3 car trips to Greenock. 2 lunches at the day rate of £4.

Oh god. Now I feel that my personal life has been violated.

Of course if I was publishing "1 telly licence; 240 congestion charges" I may feel I had something to hide.

Anonymous said...

The thing about all this fiddling and diddling of expenses is the MPs have to win. After all, if they are breaking some law, they just vote in a new law and make it okay.

People used to have a phrase for the captains of industry; fat cats. But the fattest, laziest moggies of all are purring in parliament because they will not be moved...

Anonymous said...

Fat cunts more like. Move em over to the wall and start loading the shotguns.

Anonymous said...

the constituency address of any prospective mp has to be published as a part of their election material available to the proles (sorry voters and, in some cases, taxpayers)so why the coyness when it comes to second homes - of of course it is that great catch all security (if only one could justify it as being green as well !)

yes we do have aright to know what OUR money is being spent on

Anonymous said...

MPs should be subject to complete transparency when it comes to expenses. If I'm paying umpteen grand a year in tax for Wanky Twattington, MP for Tossville South, to have a gold plated crapper and a punkawallah to flush it for him then I believe I have a right to know.

If they don't like the idea of transparent expenses then they shouldn't take the fucking job should they? My MD pays my salary and he has every right to take a gander at my expenses for the month if he wants to. We pay theirs so we should have the same right.

Anonymous said...

It's all very well ranting at the MPs: this is a democracy, and we get the representatives we vote for. Face it, the electorate of this country simply do not deserve any better - it's rare that a majority of the electorate vote, and the overwhelming majority of those who do don't take any time at all finding out who they're voting for.

People's criteria for choosing who they vote for are utterly ridiculous: a famous buffoon with no track record of doing anything worthwhile whatsoever is an obvious choice for running a major city (incidentally, I agree with your description of Boris as a libertine rather than a libertarian). I found it so hard to credit that he's won, that I wrote a song about it. I did one about that thieving twat Conway, too.

Anonymous said...

I'm still slightly confused as to how a kitchen constitutes a business expense.

Since an MPs job does not involve catering, could someone explain?

Or are they just stealing my money?

Thatcher's Child said...

Maybe it is time there was a WikiMP where all the information you can't find out about them on is published - using infomation that is already in the public area.

Of course, that might require a few emails to be sent. but soon enough the red herrings will all be dealt with and they will be forced to tell us what they have done with our money.

Of course, the simpler solution is to remove them from the stress of being an MP - preferably using some kind of lead - remembering that a pencil is actually made of graphite!

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