Friday, May 02, 2008

Brown: I hate you too

Some fine work here from the Daily Mash.
PRIME minster Gordon Brown last night admitted he loathes absolutely everyone in Britain.

As Labour faced its worst election result in more than 4000 years, Mr Brown confirmed the long-held suspicion that he's never liked us either.

He said: "It has long been claimed that I am a miserable sociopath who has only ever cared about becoming prime minister.

"Well, guess what? It's true. Whoop di-fucking-do. Well done Simon Heffer and Quentin Letts, you were right all along. You fat pricks."

I can well believe it, you know; after all, every action has an equal and opposite reaction and the force of my loathing for the Gobblin' King must lead to some hatred from his side.

In other news, the Daily Mash gets something else spot on too.
VOTERS are heading to the polls today in the biennial ritual of choosing exactly which oddballs and thieves will run their local council.

I must confess to severely disliking the whole Mayor of London election rigmarole, which is why I haven't really written about it. All of the candidates make these grandiose promises and thus give people the impression that nothing could possibly done without some politician giving it his decree.

This isn't the case: always remember that the only reason that politicians are able to do anything is because they rape us for cash and power.


Anonymous said...

This will probably sound like an stupid admission, but blame it on my youth if you could, but it has just occured to me (having just voted for the Conservatives in my ward) that there is a very little chance of being able to vote for you guys in a few years at the General Elections as you won't be able to run in many places, right? I want to be able to support LPUK (I need to sign up for membership admitadly but apart from that) but it seems I'll be restricted?

A Concerned Student

Guthrum said...

Give us time,

Anonymous said...

I'm going to have to set up a Society for the Preservation of Gordo. Presumably I will be the only member - apart from the Gobblin' King himself, of course.

Come to think of it, if you had to sit directly behind Bliar whilst he pontificates all over you, wouldn't you pick your nose? C'mon people, be fair.

John J. Coupal said...

so, it's not only us Yanks who get to choose from among the best of our worst in our election choices?

The Mother country should really set a better example...

Maybe the United Nations could come up with a better way to select a nation's presidentforlife.

Mark Wadsworth said...

"All of the candidates make these grandiose promises"

The main 4 had more or less identical manifestos, that's the worrying bit. The fact that it was all vacuous crap is another matter.

Dan Vevers said...

"Always remember that the only reason that politicians are able to do anything is because they rape us for cash and power."

That's a fantastic quote DK, it is officially going up as my new quote of the week. Cheers!

Roger Thornhill said...

Yes, it was a bit of a choice between having a turd sandwich with either sprinkles (Paddick), gummy bears (Boris) or raspberry sauce (Ken) on top.

For the Assembly, I added my own "None of the Above" and voted for that. Stuff em!

Anonymous said...

Anyone know how Damien Hockney did?

Dr Evil said...

Will Boris find the buried bodies? Smoking guns? Are the shredding machines woirking overtime? Will he get the met to cut real crime as opposed to fining people who drop bits of food?

Will he cut the funding for all those ethnic pressure group wastes of space?

NHS Fail Wail

I think that we can all agree that the UK's response to coronavirus has been somewhat lacking. In fact, many people asserted that our de...