YOU'LL never eat lunch in this town again: the landlord of the Easter Road bar and eatery, Utopia, has placed a poster in his window, warning Alistair Darling to keep off the premises.
No sunshine on Leith for Darling
It shows a noose above Mr Darling's head, with "Barred" above his picture and "Not Welcome In This Pub" below. It is owner James Hughes' personal protest against new duties on beer, wine and spirits in this month's Budget.
"The poster is meant to be humorous, but to make it clear to punters that it is not us who are putting prices up, but Mr Darling," he said. "The noose signifies that it is the government who should be hanged and not the licensed trade."
Alba does not in any way condone the idea of a necktie party for the Chancellor.
Luckily, I do. But then he'd be joining the rest of his fellow MPs anyway.
The Snob, however, points out that Darling—who happily inhabits the rather more rarified atmosphere of Morningside (completely the opposite side of town from Easter Road)—is hardly likely to notice the ban.
I, therefore, implore all bloggers to petition their locals - let's get Darling banned from pubs up and down the land!
Sounds like a good idea to me. Even better, let's make sure, at the very least, that Darling is banned from his own locals, both in the Smoke and the 'Burgh...
UPDATE: I see that the impecunious Spartan chap has weighed in in typical style.
The Scotsman's diarist is careful to reassure us that he "does not in any way condone the idea of a necktie party for the Chancellor". Inhabitants of the political blogosphere observe no such proprieties. But, while we wait for the happy day when Darling and his fellow ministers tapdance on air in front of cheering crowds of drunken revellers on St Stephen's Green, we can at least take some small steps towards restricting their freedoms as they are so keen to restrict ours.
And so a meme is born. Bloggers of Britain, rise up and petition your local watering hole! Most of you are alcoholics like me, and will doubtless be on first name terms with the manager. Persuade them to put up "Not Welcome" posters in their window. Let every bar, pub and drinking den become a no-go area for this badger-browed bastard. Let bouncers be issued with mugshots and service refused from Penzance to Peterhead.
Indeed! And if you spot a pub with such a photo in the window, do feel free to snap a photo and send it in...
UPDATE 2: if, of course, you happen to be a publican, feel free to use this image, compliments of the Devil. Simply click on it and you will get a full A4 size poster for you to print off and stick in your window...
Oh, and don't forget to send me a picture!