Friday, February 08, 2008


Two amusing articles from the Daily Mash (both worth reading in full). First, a comment on Rowan Williams...

THE Church of England was under temporary management last night after the Archbishop of Canterbury lost his mind during an interview with the BBC.

The Archbishop then ran from the room, removing his underpants and shouting: "Look at it! Look at my dancing penis!"

Reverend Williams was later spotted running into woodland near Gravesend where he is believed to have spent the night.

If, however, anyone were to respond to my request to do a Thomas a Becket on Williams, the police would not be the people to call. And nor would Ghostbusters. Although these people often bust ghosts. But not real ones, obviously.

POLICE officers are good at hitting people in the mouth with truncheons but should leave catching criminals to the kids from Scooby Doo, a top policeman said last night.

Sir Ronnie said his review of police working practices showed that amateur sleuths such as Jonathan Creek, Jessica Fletcher out of Murder She Wrote and that new one with Stephen Fry, had a much higher clear-up rate than trained detectives.

He is recommending the police hand over a range of duties to civilians allowing officers to concentrate on sleeping with the local brasses for free, shaking down drug dealers and shooting electricians in the face.

Our authority figures are so well-respected these days, are they not?


Tomrat said...

It was indeed very funny; I nearly fell of my chair at the "in pictures" section -

"Gemma Atkinson sellotapes Arse to Chest"

Anonymous said...

As an unfortunate citizen who has had to call on the 'real' police due to the actions of the local dissafected and socially excluded yoof in our area, I can confirm that you will get a better response from Scooby and the gang.

Alright that stoner Shaggy and his dog will eat you out of house and fucking home, but at least they won't direct you to a fucking call centre in Northmapton to get a crime number and er that's it.

Since, top plod recommends devolving crime saving to fictional characters and the Sweeney are far too un pc these days, I vote for Thunderbirds. The Tracy Boys have spiffy rockets that can reach trouble spots in seconds and as plus point their uniforms don't feature poncy hi-vis vests that make the wearer look like the fucking dustman.

NHS Fail Wail

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