- Al Goreitis
Definition: The mental state of anyone who piously lectures everyone else about reducing the size of their carbon footprint on the Earth, while personally living a luxurious, high-consumption, high-flying lifestyle that they condemn for anyone but themselves. Also known as "celebrityitis" and "Hollywooditis".
- David Suzukiitis
Definition: The belief that everyone is entitled to their own opinion about global warming ... as long as it agrees with yours and that if not, they should be jailed.
- Weather Channel Psychosis
Definition: Anyone who simultaneously holds the beliefs that last year's mild winter and this year's harsh one are both evidence of global warming. Possible symptoms include having your head explode because of all the BS you've jammed into your brain. More generally speaking, a term used to describe any self-proclaimed expert on global warming who doesn't understand the difference between "weather" and "climate."
- Kyoto Accord Syndrome
Definition: Delusional belief that the same political geniuses who keep promising to "fix" medical wait times can "fix" the climate.
- Media Madness Disease
Definition: An affliction common among journalists who pontificate ad nauseam about what Canada's policy on global warming should be, without ever having read a book on climate change or even knowing the difference between the Earth's natural greenhouse effect and man-made greenhouse gas emissions. Possible cures include reading a Grade 8 science textbook.
Those of us who call "bullshit" on the whole AGW madness are, of course, much easier to define: we are all "deniers" and you may add "in the pay of big business" if you deem it necessary.
On a related note, if any big business would like to pay me huge sums of cash to report on the massive flaws in the AGW evidence, I am more than happy to take it...