Monday, December 10, 2007

Get Thee to a Fuckery (if there should be such a thing)

Cunts. They come in many forms and guises. Once, you could tell them from a simple beardiness about their demeanour. Or maybe from their appearance at mass gatherings where they would demand that you pay for whatever they were interested in having for free, or to free whatever fashionable terrorist was leftist flavour-of-the-week. Ever fond of dallying with this shit, academia has a long, sad track record of playing footsy with these cunts. But playing footsy, as we've all found out in a restaurant or two, leads to more. So sadly here comes the latest wave of attack in the form of yet another unasked for "report" by a set of attention-deficit, better-than-you, "thinkers" from academia, desperate to get in on the action of the day and point out to us all that we just aren't fucking worthy and should just all go cut our heads off and stop living.

Now we've finally said goodbye to the Soviets, it's no surprise to find that battleground chosen is the "issue of climate change" - which has transmogrified so completely into a cipher for socialism that Uncle Joe himself would no doubt be seen cycling to work and heckling Jeremy Clarkson if only he wasn't dead. The moustachioed, mass-murdering, communist fuckwad.

So, here come some academics from Oxford University (Oxford!!) claiming that the UK is even worse for the world than we thought. Why? Because our carbon use is even higher than we suspected already.

"The new analysis measures the UK's consumption of carbon, rather than production. It includes energy consumed to make products and ship them to the UK from countries such as China, as well as the carbon footprint of British citizens abroad."

This from academics - the brightest people from one of the most venerable learning institutions in the world. Even China's emissions are our fault because we buy their stuff! Fucking brilliant!! Just when it looked like we could finally point the finger of blame at them for building a whole, new coal-powered power station and day and damming up rivers and killing dolphins and shit, it turns out they're only doing it for us! Well fuck me, "Dieter", I'll try my fucking damnedest next time round to buy a free-range telly from my locally sourced, organically friendly, non-racist, free-trade TV farmer. Or maybe just not buy one at all... would that keep you happy? Because deep down, you know that all I am is a vacuous, consumerist cunt who does nothing more than sit at home burning carbon while sucking US propaganda into my fat, dolphin-eating face and shitting CFCs. In fact - fuck it: let's you and me move into a cave together and eat moths so we can claim minimal carbon footprint. And die, aged 34.

And those expats - who've fled the country because of the stifling taxes, the illiberal policing of social interaction, the unchecked crime committed against them and their property by either undereducated hoolies or the state itself - even they are guilty... because they remain British. You just can't fucking escape it.

Go smoke a cock. Smoke two, actually.


Anonymous said...

Catholicism and Climate change, both designed to fill the masses with feelings of guilt and sin for the purposes of control.

'Sorry Lord/IPCC for I have committed the grand crime of being so self indulgent to f---ing breath!'

knirirr said...

Typically, the Guardian has misrepresented the report somewhat. Mr. Worstall mentions this here, as well as linking to the original paper.

Curly said...

I think we'll be all better off just camping in the fields!

Anonymous said...

My gut feeling is that a transition to a complete 'energy accounting' economic model is underway, or at least 'perception management' is paving the way for it. After all, the European Union is a technocratic beast of the first order.

Environmentalism is the perfect bandwagon to co-opt; they are complimentary. The added benefit is it having the ability to act as a moral edifice/religion, of which is thinly veiled and intrinsically global. Perhaps this is the basis of a EU (or even global) demos?

This is pure and totally undemocratic, social engineering.

Anonymous said...

This is a brilliant post. It should be nailed onto every socialist's forehead, so every time they look at each other, they see this wonderful indictment of their lies, their arrogance, their manipulativeness and their vindictiveness disguised as "caring".

Personally, I would like to see socialism proscribed by law. Fat chance, of course, but it is a dangerous cult - not to the practitioners themselves, but to those upon whom they practice their turgid voodoo.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 3:45 - I have been saying for the past year that this is all part of the New World Order - one-worlderism.

It is about controlling populations.

What baffles me is that so many people believe it - even people who have seen Al Gore's photograph and know about the opportunistic episode of the hanging chads. I know he's from a wealthy old patrician family, but there is something of the circus barker about Mr Gore. Glib, eye out for the gullible customer ... especially academics who benefit from writing papers (it's publish or don't get tenure in academia), media appearances, "fact-finding" trips, TV appearances and an all round ego-satisfying high profile. And of course, policians, the opportunists' opportunists.

Mulligan said...

It just goes to prove my theory that between the academics, IPCC, think tanks, TV News Climate Correspondents (OK pushing it), and MPs (like Balls and Miliband) rumoured to have brains the size of the planet) that very clever people tend to be incredibly fucking stupid.

This climate change bandwagon promises to be the biggest act of oppression against the world community, closely followed by the betrayal of Europe's population by politicians anxious not to miss getting their snout in the totally corrupt EU trough.

Devil's Kitchen said...


My dear chap; when least looked for, you pop up with an absolutely stonking piece of writing...


Anonymous said...

verity 4:13 - indeed.

To step a little further in thought, I can see an increasing convergence of what I can only call "The Three Terrors" -- Global, Foreign and Domestic.

The maximal, long-term, overarching and continuous terror is framed as environmental as it interpenetrates both foreign and domestic spheres of thought from Oil Wars to China Rising to the TV on standby; plus having the global Armageddon fallback.

This sheer scale, and total media blitz with only minor and useless actions as pressure to 'do one's bit/penance' compounds a very Orwellian doublethink.

I am sensing a very 'dazed and confused' -- or perhaps 'shocked and awed' -- sentiment in my local. There is little informed dissent, just meek submission.

As social engineering, it is a terribly impressive achievement given the time-frame involved.

All very depressing, as par the course.

Anonymous said...

It is astounding how quickly this dingbat theory became received wisdom - especially in socialist Britain and socialist Europe. Although, as it is so rich with opportunities to control entire populations, I suppose it isn't surprising that governments fell in love with it so quickly.

I wonder who issued the edict that Gore's ridiculous movie had to be shown in every state school in Britain.

JuliaM said...

"...there is something of the circus barker about Mr Gore..."

Verity nails him perfectly.

I can understand people in the UK not really understanding the 'hanging chad' fiasco, or thinking it some arcane aspect of US politics that has no bearing on his 'committment to environmentalism'.

But the fact that he flies around the world, sucking up lavish buffets before flying back to a mansion the size of a small English county, with more SUVs in the driveway than a UN convention...? Please!

The man is an old fashioned Soviet-style hypocrite of the first order. He epitomises the 'do as I say, not as I do' political elite.

Why can no-one see it?

Anonymous said...

Gore's sense of entitlement knows no limits. He's from an old political family - his grandfather was a senator - and they own a tobacco plantation plus they made another fortune off coal-mining. (Unlike the left, I wouldn't sneer at them for this, but they are vastly rich and bossy.) At one time, he and his family were the largest shareholders in Occidental Petroleum and were in tight with Armand Hammer.

So Al seems to have changed his tune about coal mining and petroleum engineering.

Still, he must have been astounded at how easy Britain and Europe were.

It's OK for him to take private jets around the world to spread the message because he's ... special. One of the elect. It's just not OK for you to do the same.

Anonymous said...

I saw an interesting item on a news report last night - it said that coal fires in China, i.e. fires raging out of control in mines, are responsible for generating as much CO2 per year as all the cars, trucks etc in the US, about 3% of the world total. Let's just think about that.

For the past five years, all we have heard is non-stop environmental propaganda against America. Yet here we have something equally as 'bad', and the first I hear about it is the 11th item on a late night news bulletin. In fact, it is worse - at least travel is done for a reason, being essential for economic activity.

So come on, lefties - how about arranging some demonstrations outside the Chinese embassy? Hello? Anyone there?

Anonymous said...

I trust these honourable souls have deducted from our total the carbon generated when creating goods for export?

Saying that, the UK exports f*ck all these days anyway.

Anonymous said...

Mars is being hit by rapid climate change and it is happening so fast that the red planet could lose its southern ice cap, writes Jonathan Leake.

Scientists from Nasa say that Mars has warmed by about 0.5C since the 1970s. This is similar to the warming experienced on Earth over approximately the same period.

Since there is no known life on Mars it suggests rapid changes in planetary climates could be natural phenomena.

Its the fucking sun! people !!!

Anonymous said...


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