Alec Muffet, redoubtable trencherman that he is despite his dainty frame, pointed me at this splendiferous expression of the manifest superiority of western civilisation:Multi-bird roasts, where different types of bird are stuffed inside a larger one, have become the thing to carve this year - and the more birds involved the better. One of the top-sellers is the Waitrose four-bird roast: guinea fowl, duck and turkey breast stuffed inside a goose.
For it was this delicacy that we indulged in for our Christmas roast, and thoroughly delicious it was too; why roast only one lovely, tasty bird when you can have four, eh? But it seems that not everybody agrees.
However after reading the comments attached to this Daily Mail article decrying the practice, I could see my enthusiasm was not shared by all. The best comment and a real contender for the Samizdata Pig's Head on a Spike Award for Thigh Slapping Hilarity was:See, it's because of madness like this that the terrorists hate us
—Marcus, Northampton, UK
No, Marcus, it's because of priggish, finger-wagging, fun-destroying cunts like you that these terrorists think that they can win, you destroyer of joy. Go fuck yourself...
The man is either a sage-like wag of the very highest order or a deranged Imam in need of an extended holiday in a certain part of Cuba... and an honourable mention also goes out for:These graceful animals were alive and living a short while ago. Go veggie this Cristmas and let more of gods creatures experience what you do ...Life
—James Mills, Nottingham
For fuck's sake, if you are going to take no joy in life, what the hell are you living for? But let us all hope that James Mills enjoyed his mung bean roast, the miserable bastard.
Anyway, the four birds in one were absolutely lovely and, I must say, your humble Devil felt decadent in the extreme and that, my friends, is the spirit of Christmas. It's not excess, or crass commercialism, or drunkenness: Christmas (and, before that, Saturnalia) is about decadent indulgence. And good port.
Long may it continue.
P.S. Your humble Devil's breakfast this morning consists of pink Champagne and quail's eggs (with the oh-so-essential celery salt).