Thursday, November 22, 2007

Translating from bureaucratese

England Expects reveals one of the rather more intimate questions that the EU wants to add [PDF] to the next Housing Census.
"Date(s) of the beginning of the consensual union(s) of women having ever been in consensual union: (i) first consensual union and (ii) current consensual union"

As far as I can make out, this is essentially asking women the following questions.
  1. When did you lose your virginity? (Date compulsory, juicy details optional.)

  2. When did you first start fucking your current squeeze? (Date compulsory, more juicy details optional. For the moment.)

And no, if this draft legislation goes through, putting "it's none of your fucking business when I got busy fucking" is not an option.

So, can we leave yet?


Surreptitious Evil said...

Isn't this supposed to be some horrible mistranslation (sorry, no link, Mrs S-E heard it on the news yesterday)?

The original intended question, which was, after all, in the housing section, was apparently closer to:

1. When did you first cohabit (regardless of whether you were bonking them, somebody else or nobody).

2. When did you start cohabiting with the person you are currently cohabiting with.

Having said that, it then makes less sense why they would ask this only of the ladies.

Anonymous said...

My children were asked at school what drugs they had taken and for how long. Their reply was that they had started on cannabis and ecstasy at primary, gone on to cocaine at 12 and were mainlining at 14, and so on.

If anything as idiotic as the proposed EU sex questions ever made it to the census, I can see similarly daft answers. And who could prove the answers were wrong (or, even, right)?

Roger Thornhill said...

What on earth does the EU know about consensual unions? Surely it prefers the non-consensual ones!

Trixy said...

I would be in trouble because I can't remember.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Damn! Roger beat me to it! Please note that there are some non-consensual unions in which you get fucked over.

Longrider said...

Yes, it was a mistranslation, but it provided some free amusement. The question has now been dropped, but they still want to know the ins and outs of your private life.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the Fast Show.

"Does he give you one? Suits you madam"

Shug Niggurath said...

It does serve to show that they don't simply want to know where you're at, but also how you got there, where you plan to go and what you plan on doing it with;.

They are nosy, arrogant, scumbags and I'm sick to the back teeth with them.

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