The Foreign Office is attempting to secure the release of a British teacher jailed in Sudan for insulting religion after naming a teddy bear Muhammad.
Gillian Gibbons, 54, from Liverpool, has been sentenced to 15 days in prison and will then be deported.
She escaped conviction for inciting hatred and showing contempt for religious beliefs, and will now appeal.
Fucking hell, why? One would have thought that she'd want to get out of that hell-hole as soon as humanly possible.
The Foreign Office has been in contact with Sudan's government overnight and will repeat demands for her release.
Mrs Gibbons' son added: "I don't want the verdict to lead to any anti feeling towards Muslims."
Well, that's fine; I must admit that I don't really have any "any anti feeling towards Muslims" in general—just the Sudanese Muslims, especially the ones who wanted her to be executed. And to be fair, it's not really "anti feeling": I'd describe it as "contempt".
Foreign Secretary David Miliband has expressed "in the strongest terms" the UK's concern at her detention.
Is it just me, or does "concern" not sound like "the strongest terms"? I tell you what: here's what strong terms look like...
"Dear Sudanese state barbarians,
"In Britain, we have a tradition of protecting our citizens (rather than murdering them using deniable militias); indeed, we have mounted monumentally expensive expeditions for the sole purpose of doing just that. So here's the beef...
"Let our countrywoman go, right fucking now, or we will immediately cease all aid for the next year. This will cost you about £113 million. There will be no relenting and you can just fucking starve: besides, why the fuck the British taxpayers are spending £5.7 million on Governance Support on your mass-murdering, genocidal junta anyway, I just don't know.
"By the way, you know how we are pulling troops out of Iraq? Well, no one wants to be hasty but there are a hell of a lot of people in Britain clamouring for us to 'do something' about the massacres in Darfur. Just saying is all.
"Now she'd better be on the next flight, or we'll get all 21st century weapons tech on your arse."
And, let's face it, even that could be phrased more bluntly.
Look, there will be many who would argue that Mrs Gibbons has broken the Sudanese law (such as it is) and that she should take her punishment on the chin; after all, she got a lot less than was threatened.
But if we really want to get her home without her having to serve her two weeks in prison, let's not pussy-foot around here. So why am I convinced that Batshit has not used "the strongest terms"...?