Tuesday, November 13, 2007

iPhone costs

Bookdrunk notes a highly amusing Daily Mail u-turn—from the iPhone being a flop to the iPhone being "the fastest selling product of all time"—but there is a fucking annoying trope that I want to pick up in the first article.
But just hours after going on sale in the UK, the new Apple iPhone was met with disappointment by buyers struggling to get to grips with its shortcomings and its hefty £900 cost.

Anyone who buys an iPhone has to pay £269 for the handset and sign up for an 18-month contract with the O2 mobile phone network at £35 a month, making a total of £899.

I'm sorry, but did I miss some kind of fucking meeting? Am I being diddled? Is every other mobile phone contract free these days?

Fucking hell, I feel like a total chump, because I have been on a monthly mobile phone contract for over ten years and—I'm embarrassed to admit this—I have been paying a monthly fucking fee! I feel like a total fucking idiot because I hadn't realised that everybody else was getting their calls, texts and handsets for absolutely bugger all.

Or is it that the rest of you are wandering around with magic handsets that don't actually require a network at all?

Because, unless that is the case, the iPhone does not cost £900, although you can say that the iPhone and the required O2 contract does cost you that. However, as I have pointed out before, almost all mobile operators insist that you take out a minimum contract of 12 months so I fail to see the fucking problem.
I have an O2 contract, and my usual monthly spend (including data transfer, which is unlimited under the iPhone contracts) is around £40: does that mean that my Nokia N73 (which came "free" with my contract) costs £720 over 18 months?

No, of course it fucking doesn't.

The iPhone does have shortcomings and £269 is a fair amount to pay for a handset but this £900 trope is absolute fucking tripe.

DISCLAIMER: I own Apple shares. And they've taken a bit of a dive over the last week, so I would appreciate the fucking Daily Mail not spreading more fucking stupid, share-price-damaging lies, the cunts.


Sean said...

And you know what? Lots of people are going to actually spend less on their iPhone bills, because the data they were previously paying two quid a megabyte to download is now free. My monthly bill used to be at least £70; now I very much doubt that that it'll be more that the £45 I'm paying for the new iPhone tariff. So I'll save £25 every month: 25x12=300, which is - oooh, look - more than the cost of the iPhone.

But these people are all whingeing tossers, as any fule no. Why would we expect them to get anything right?

Martin said...


FWIW, having previously spent a lot of time working as an O2 customer service agent (Ben Hur - 'one day on this ship, three years on other ships'), an 18 month O2 tariff SHOULD mean that purchasers receive 50% extra on their calls & texts allowances for the same monthly price that they would pay for the 12 month equivalent.

But I've been out of there for some time, and the mobile market is, as you know, extremely fungible.

As regards the level of intellectual awareness amongst contract mobile users, you are correct to point out that many are not quite thick bastards, but would certainly appear to be challenged by simple tasks like turning on light switches, people who spend their lives lurching from crisis to crisis, teetering on the cusp of cretinism. My own
belief is that nobody under the age of 90 should be permitted to buy a contract mobile without -

1. Producing a letter signed by both their parents giving them permission;
2. Producing an IQ test showing they are at least capable of tying their own shoelaces;
3. Sitting an exam on the terms and conditions.

Reading the terms and conditions solves a lot of problems...yes indeed...(starts weeping over the keyboard...)

Anonymous said...

Just as Acrobat was invented to make Word look good, so Apple invented Macs to make Windows look good ?!? - no, no that can't be right - I know - Windoze is crap, so it must mean that Macs are for wimps. Or something. I thought Vista was a sort of instant curry?!?

Anonymous said...

The iPhone is wank.

Learn it; live it; love it, bitch.

Trixy said...

Perhaps the article was written by Tina Farrell?

NHS Fail Wail

I think that we can all agree that the UK's response to coronavirus has been somewhat lacking. In fact, many people asserted that our de...