Had Toni Vernelli gone ahead with her pregnancy ten years ago, she would know at first hand what it is like to cradle her own baby, to have a pair of innocent eyes gazing up at her with unconditional love, to feel a little hand slipping into hers - and a voice calling her Mummy.
But the very thought makes her shudder with horror.
Because when Toni terminated her pregnancy, she did so in the firm belief she was helping to save the planet.
For fuck's sake...
Incredibly, so determined was she that the terrible "mistake" of pregnancy should never happen again, that she begged the doctor who performed the abortion to sterilise her at the same time.
He refused, but Toni - who works for an environmental charity - "relentlessly hunted down a doctor who would perform the irreversible surgery.
Finally, eight years ago, Toni got her way.
At the age of 27 this young woman at the height of her reproductive years was sterilised to "protect the planet".
Incredibly, instead of mourning the loss of a family that never was, her boyfriend (now husband) presented her with a congratulations card.
I think that's great. I think that it's nice that two insane people should have found each other. Although, when he leaves her in a few years, citing the desire to have a family as the reason, she'd better not come crying to the taxpayer for her anti-depressants.
While some might think it strange to celebrate the reversal of nature and denial of motherhood, Toni relishes her decision with an almost religious zeal.
"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35.
"Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population."
While most parents view their children as the ultimate miracle of nature, Toni seems to see them as a sinister threat to the future.
What future? This woman really is fucking barking mad, isn't she?
I mean, seriously, Toni: what future are we talking about here? If we assume that your position is correct, as you obviously do, it isn't the future of the human race because if everyone took your attitude there wouldn't be a human race (have you read Children of Men, by the way?).
As Mike Power says...
Good job your mother took a different view. Have you considered the ultimate environmentalist gesture - suicide? And let's hope you never need care and attention from someone else's son or daughter in the future. Of course, logically, they could legitimately have one child between them which wouldn't even be enough to replace them both. A 50% reduction! On second thoughts perhaps it's best if they don't breed.
We aren't sure if being completely fucking hatstand is genetic, but just in case it is, perhaps her sterilisation's for the best...