For well over 45 centuries the human race has been squeezing grapes and fermenting the juice into anything between seven and 15 per cent alcohol, and so producing the ecstatic drink that has been as sacred to every pagan religion as it is to Christianity.
As a great French historian has pointed out, the vineyards of France are perhaps the single greatest cultural legacy of the Roman empire, and it is now more than two millennia since people in Britain first became aware of the intoxicating powers of wine.
In all that time, no government in history has yet thought the people so moronic that they needed to be told, on the bottle, that wine could go to your head; and Flint's proposed act of desecration is all the more shameful and baffling when you consider - in your state of agreeable post-prandial rapture - that a bottle of wine is really a thing of quiet beauty.
Just one issue, Boris...
I am told that the drinks industry is in two minds. Some say capitulate and agree to the "voluntary" code; some say fight and force Flint to try to bring forward legislation.
I say fight, fight, fight. Fight against these insulting, ugly and otiose labels.
Yes, I agree: now, how about you tell your spineless, massively-foreheaded leader and get the fucking devious, cowardly cunt to actually stand up and do something about it?