Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The end?

Since it seems to be the season for bastardising poetry, your humble Devil shall have a shot...
I have of late—but wherefore I know not—lost all my bile
Forgone all custom of rantings; and indeed,
It goes so heavily with my disposition
That this goodly frame, the blog,
Seems to me a sterile promontory;
This most excellent Kitchen, the words, look you,
This brave o’erhanging blogosphere,
This majestical place fretted with golden words—
Why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
What a piece of work are blogs!
How noble in intention! how infinite in variety!
In form and moving, how express and admirable!
In action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god!
The beauty of the 'net! the paragon of t'interweb!
And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?

As one may guess, your humble Devil is feeling out of sorts; unable to summon up the anger required to rant and tired of the sme old arguments. Perhaps it is that he has become too immersed in this blogging lark, too hopeful of effecting change whilst realising how little anyone cares!

Perhaps that it is that here is something depressing about shouting out one's grievances and knowing that no one is listening. Your humble Devil has not been inspired for months, plugging along on autopilot.

It is time for your humble Devil to return to his roots, to the line-by-line fisking of politicians and columnists. Perhaps he will find his rage again as yet more government stupidities flow around.

Or else The Kitchen may have to go into retirement.* At least until March...

* The last time that I said this, of course, there was a load of NuLabour bollocks only a day later and it was a joy to come whirling back...


Martin said...

Och, a good shag and a bevvy and you'll be back to your old self in no time at all...

Mr Eugenides said...

Man delights not him - no, nor woman neither...

Donald Maclean said...

Christ, first Martin kelly, then the DK appear to fall on their swords. What the hell's going on? You guys are at the stage when you should be starting to cash in. Or is that the problem; do you see 'establishment' status looming ahead? Don't do it.

Reactionary Snob said...

I have felt like this to dear boy.

I felt the whole of January was a poor month all round but am slowly but surely feeling my way back in.

Two things - I, and you, have based our blogs around anger. It is difficult to keep this up. Thinking up new insults, looking for things to be angry about etc.

Second, we get to the point where we actually look forward to New Labour fuck-ups... it makes our blogs better but our lives worse.

Hmmm. Best of luck old chap, only a few weeks to the Harridan returns from her hibernation. She will be strong after her sleep... we must be at our best to fight her.


Surreptitious Evil said...

March, we'd be so bloody lucky. I'll give you till Friday latest before they piss you off. And no blogging through Trixy 'cause you're too irate to be allowed near a keyboard :)


Prodicus said...

Seasonal Affective Disorder, is all. Chin up. The days are getting longer and Polly or Gordo will do something appalling tomorrow or the next day (yeah, depressing in itself, I know) and before you know it you'll be ranting like a good 'un.

Look, you have a legion of readers (whaddya mean, no-one's listening?!) whose days would not be the same without a visit to the Kitchen for the shot in the arm one gets from (let us speak plainly) seeing you give a ponce a kick up the arse.

Martin said...

Och, Donald, DK and I aren't in the same boat.

I lost an aunt and talked my sister out of killing herself on consecutive days, then found Jesus and got sick of earning £13k in call centres the week after.

I was never big time - not like some morose big choob fae Tonbridge whose gone all poetic now that he's relocated...

Anonymous said...

"..too hopeful of effecting change whilst realising how little anyone cares!"
I'm sure career politicians feel exactly the same. The cynic in me would say that this is why anyone with sufficient intelligence for the job in hand will drop out through desondency, leaving only the dunderfucks to finally achieve office.
Mind you, it is pissing down outside, so it's gloomy outlooks all round..

Anonymous said...

Prodicus said...

"..... you have a legion of readers whose days would not be the same without a visit to the Kitchen for the shot in the arm..."

Absolutley spot on, and my compliments to Mrs Prodicus.

Before I discovered the warm welcome of the Kitchen, and the sagacity of Messrs Fawkes, Prodicus et al, I was driven to the madness of "is it just me? can no one else see it?", in a world of the silent scream - so I left the country!

Hang in there. Your country (both of them) needs you!

Trixy said...

'Man delights not him - no, nor woman neither...'
Thanks a-fucking lot, Mr E!

Bag said...

This is what happens when you get involved with the opposite sex. Your priorities change and you become more docile.

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