Wednesday, December 06, 2006

That "Britishness" test

Much has been made—by the Gobblin' King in particular—about this so-called "Britishness" test. This test will, it is claimed, help to rectify the perceived problems of our multi-culti society by ensuring that many of the immigrants to these shores are aware of what it means to be British. People have already been comparing it to the US citizenship quiz.

Thanks to the lovely Trixy, your humble Devil has been able to gain a transcript of the test as it will be applied to European Union citizens. It is, I think that you will agree, fascinating reading.
  1. Are you an EU citizen?

  2. If you answered YES to the above question, please rip this test paper into tiny pieces, wipe your arse on it and post it off to: "The Prime Minister, No 10 Downing Street, London, UK", enclosing the Addendum EU-PRICK01 attached.*

    * Text of EU-PRICK01: "Dear Prime Minister, I am an EU citizen. Please shove this Britishness test up your rectum as it is illegal under EU law. I enclose the relevent excerpt from the Directive.
    Article 11 of Directive 2004/58/EC (29th April) says:

    'The fundamental and personal right of residence in another Member State is conferred directly on Union citizens by the Treaty (establishing the European Union) and is not dependence upon their having fulfilled administrative procedures.'

    Thank you for your benefits, love

    _________________________________ [EU Citizen]

Personally, I'm looking forward to the next exciting initiative. In the meantime, I might make this a regular feature at The Kitchen; I think that there is scope for a "fucking stupid ideas that our leaders have but can't actually implement anyway because they are in contravention of EU Directives" section.

Can we leave yet?


Anonymous said...

Mmm, not sure if we want europe-wide citizenship tests. Might make it difficult when those being screwed by this government decide to get out. Brown might quite like the idea of making it a pain for people to bugger off with their money to Bulgaria.

Devil's Kitchen said...


That's not really the point. That's why I said that the section might be called "fucking stupid ideas that our leaders have but can't actually implement anyway because they are in contravention of EU Directives".

The point is that, even were it a good idea (like warning strips on trucks) we could not implement this even if we wanted to. The point here is to show all of these small things that we cannot do because our elected government is not permitted to act.


Anonymous said...

Superb. And very funny.

Anonymous said...

Sorry DK but I think you are confusing residence with citizenship there old boy. Member states can apply conditions to people wishing to be a citizen, residence is a simpler matter altogether.

Trixy said...

If you read the press release on the Home Office website, you will soon discover that the new tests are, in fact, for long term immigrants.

And under Directive 2004/58/EC there are criteria for EU 'citizens' and becoming a subject of the UK.

NHS Fail Wail

I think that we can all agree that the UK's response to coronavirus has been somewhat lacking. In fact, many people asserted that our de...