Sunday, August 27, 2006

Yet more Fringes of society

I have decided that I shall now adopt Tim Fitzhigham's epithet for Princess Toni: that's right, from now on, he's "Chuckles" Blair...

In other news, a bit of polite... ahem... advice for punters at the Fringe:
  1. In the name of god, if you must walk like an arthritic tortoise, please do not take up the entire pavement/stairway/passage. Please leave a gap for those of us who know where we are going to get through.

  2. If you are going to stop to talk to friends, do not stand right in the fucking path of people needing to get in and out, nor right in a doorway. This goes for staff too, particularly those at the Gilded Balloon.

  3. Bar managers: if the queue at the bar is five deep, do not send two of your barstaff on their breaks at that time. Wait until the crush has finished and people are not saying, loudly, "how the hell do we get served in this place": they are not being difficult, but they have been waiting quarter of an hour or more to get served.

  4. If you do not have the good grace to arrive at a show on time, do at least have the courtesy to SHUT THE FUCK UP whilst you are coming, late, into the auditorium. If you don't want to hear what anyone is saying, do everyone else the favour of fucking off.

  5. Do not make comments to your mates throughout the show: I have come to listen to the people onstage, not some fat fuck from Fife who won't shut the fuck up.

  6. Directors: if your show is shit and your performers can't act, please, just don't bring the show up at all. If you do, please do at least have the courtesy to warn everyone that this is the case on your publicity. It's very nice that your Sixth Form pupils want to come and perform at the Festival, but I don't think that it is fair to fleece people for £8 to indulge your wards' egos.

Other than the annoyances above, it's been a great Festival...

It's off to the Bedlam party tonight, which invariably lasts until about 7am, at which point we all go and lie down in the the deserted road outside the theatre. Gosh, we are all so kerrrrrazy...

And then The Kitchen will be back in action!

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