Tuesday, August 08, 2006

More smoking bitchery

The delightful Festbitch chaps and chapesses have been on form, being as bitchy as they possible can this Fringe. I must take issue with them here though.
It's nice to see that so many people have decided to get all the pissing and bitching out of their systems during the festival - it will save a lot of time when the exact same smoking ban is introduced in England and Wales in the near future.

It is important to realise that it is not the same ban, especially when one considers the furore over Mel Smith's principled (almost) stand against the rewriting of history.

There is, in fact, a crucial difference between the Scottish smoking ban and everywhere else.

Every other country—Ireland, the US, etc.—has exemptions for stage and screen. Ireland allows herbal cigarettes (why? What's the fucking difference? Smoke is smoke, isn't it?) and the US allows smoking onstage (as long as you have warning signs in the foyer). The ban in England and Wales will still allow people to smoke on stage and on film sets; the exact details have not yet been worked out, but the principal has been set.

Scotland does not allow any of these. The private member's Bill (SNP, natch) under which the ban was introduced specifically says that there is to be no exemptions, not even on the grounds of authenticity.

This is not the same smoking ban as anywhere else: it is far more draconian. And it is, at least partly, because of shit like this, and the authoritarian state that Scotland is becoming, that I want to leave.

And I am going to send a long letter to Jack "pug-faced moron" McConnell telling him precisely why. Although I may abridge it to
Dear Jack,

You and your Executive are a bunch of fascist cunts and I hope that every single one of you dies in pain. Soon. Fuck you.


But I may be more eloquent...


Clairwil said...

Ironically prison inmates can still smoke indoors. Which will be handy when this ban causes me to lose the plot and set fire to Holyrood. In fact it's almost an incentive.

Anonymous said...

>>Mel Smith's principled (almost) stand

The only principle involved was getting as many people in to see the play as possible

Mr Free Market said...

Yep, Mark I tend to agree with you ..... nothing like a bit of free PR. Still if Mel is on the brown boys, at least he is off the booze

AntiCitizenOne said...

"But I may be more eloquent"

Why? Fuck the fuckers.

Bill said...

I have never smoked, indeed I dislike the habit intensely, but I think this whole law to ban smoking is completely bizarre and way over-the-top. The most amazing effect of the ban is that even overnight lorry drivers can't have a smoke in their van when parked-up overnight. As you say, it's fascist nonsense.

Jack McConnell can make all the speeches he wants about encouraging more people to come and live in Scotland, to help the economy, but if this idiotic government keep introducing such silly laws then they are never ever going to succeed.

Anonymous said...

There's more chance of Socialism being voted out in North Korea than in Scotland, you poor bastards. You have my sympathy.

The Nameless Libertarian said...

Eloquence is relative.

If you are dealing with fuckwits, feel free to call them fuckwits.

Tom Paine said...

Eloquence and bile are not mutually exclusive, as is often demonstrated here.

Devil's Kitchen said...

The only principle involved was getting as many people in to see the play as possible

Mark, it's Mel Smith and Michael Fassbinder, at the Assembly Rooms, for one week. That play was selling more than well enough before the smoking furore. Mainly to the kind of fuckwit who comes to the Fringe and only buys tickets to Bill Bailey, Dylan Moran, Jimmy Carr and anyone else that they've seen on the TV, but totally ignore the really cool new stuff that is, ultimately, what the Fringe is about.

True, Mel's is a newish play, but the people who have bought tickets to it will be, in the main, celebrity spotters.

Personally, I tend to wander around the Fringe and rarely see anything in the first week. But I do try to pick up tips about what is good and start seeing stuff over the last two weeks. By far the best way to do it.


AntiCitizenOne said...

Who wants to invest in a chain of smoke-easies? I can see vast profits because

1/ As you're already breaking da law, don't let Don-Gordo extort any duty on the fags or the booze.
2/ Demand for the proper boozer atmosphere will be high.

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