The government came under fierce attack yesterday after quietly bringing in measures to give councils the power to seize the homes of the dead from bereaved families.
Erm... Well, in cetain circumstances, yes. I think that the reporter might be slightly sensationalising the piece by attempting to tap into the kind of fake fucking sympathy that most Telegraph readers eschew, but fair enough.
Ministers were also accused of "burying bad news" by publishing details of the rules while the nation's eyes were trained on the World Cup.
Are we surprised? I think not.
The measures, released by Ruth Kelly, the Communities Secretary, on Friday afternoon, give local authorities the power to confiscate homes that have been vacant for six months and rent them out to the homeless.
From next month councils will be able to break into, alter or refurbish the properties and let them out to tenants of their choice for up to seven years.
Now what the fuck is this shit?! Councils can break into your property, knock down a few adjoining walls and install some smelly, feckless tramp in your home?! What? You fucking cunts.
Ruth Kelly, you fucking piece of shit, you might well be shifted to the top of my hate list (just below Gordo, obviously, who is on my Premiership Hate List) especially since you are a fucking religious twerp too. Burn, you devious little shit, burn!
Exceptions include second and holiday homes and the homes of people working away temporarily.
Wow! Thank you, NuLabour, thank you so much for giving us this exemption. Oh, and the manna from fucking heaven too. You stupid, fascist bastards.
Robert Whelan, of the think-tank Civitas, said the "outrageous" confiscation of property ran "right against the ancient common-law principle of private property, which is as fundamental as habeas corpus.
"The right to private property is the Englishman's right to his castle". Labour was "behaving more like a dictatorship than a democratic government", he said.
Welcome to the party, Robert. NuLabour are fascist so, really, what do you expect?
Yvette Cooper, the housing and planning minister, said, however, that it was an outrage that empty properties were not being used to tackle housing shortages.
I don't give two shits about your "outrage", Yvette. What you are actually saying is that the public sector—which would have severe issues in trying to get a small shindig going in a brewery—has completely fucked up housing as well as everything else.
Of course, it is fairly well-known that this is the case. All of those massive, miserable asbestos-ridden sixties-era towerblocks, all those miserable dirty sink estates: public sector builds, every one of them. Everything that the government touches turns to shit, and expensive shit at that.
Let me suggest an alternative: if you really want to use people's property to house the homeless and the other assorted fuck-ups that your precious fucking Welfare State has failed, why not offer to buy the property off the owners, rather than stealing it? Eh? Or, even better, rent it off them at commercial rates. That way, when something breaks, then it will get fixed in less than six months.
But there is simply no excuse for theft, especially not by the government. I mean, seriously, who's your fucking role model? Mugabe? Or, actually, it's probably Uncle Joe Stalin, isn't it? Fuck you, you fucking shits.
UPDATE: Tom Paine has written an excellent article about this.