Sunday, June 18, 2006

Guinness is fucking shit

Normally, I rather like the Blogthings quizes, but this one is rubbish.

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.
Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.
When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.
But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.


Now, I know that the author is probably American and thus—with all due respect, guys—knows less than fuck all about decent beers, but to ask lots of questions about whether one drinks quality beer, to give a result that maintains that you know and love good beer and then to equate this with fucking Guinness is just insulting. It is much like finding out that someone is a real wine buff and then offering them nothing but Lambrusco.

Stouts were, of course, originally brewed in England, as a heavier type of porter (unusual to find these days but very nice); I am not a massive fan of stouts, although Hopback's Entire Stout is very pleasant, but I am a fan of live beers.

Let me make this absolutely clear: Guinness is fucking shit. It isn't the worst of the pasteurised, keg-beer crap that infests this country like some sort of fucking plague, but I really do object to it being equated with quality. It is crap, and only the bloody Irish would ever be proud of it. It is like boasting that you are a wine connoisseur and then robustly declaring Lambrini to be your favourite drink.

A pint of good real ale is a far superior drink (and please note that it should not be warm, it should be a few degrees below room temperature) and so, for your education and eventual delectation, here's a little list of long-time favourites: Marston's Firestoker, Wychwood's Hobgoblin, Hopback's Summer Lightning, Pictish Brewery's Alchemist's Gold, Charles Wells' Bombardier, Kelham Island's Pale Rider and Golden Goose's Pommie's Revenge.

I'm sure I'll think of a few more: any other suggestions welcomed in the comments...

6 comments:

Fidothedog said...

Old Speckled Hen is rather good.

Andrew Ian Dodge said...

Yes that is a most incompetent quiz. Why no London for instance? He seems to think beer= lager and ignores ale in all forms. I got Bud Light for f***s sake. Whomever came up with that quiz no nothing about beer or why people drink it.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Lagwolf, I don't think the fuckwit who put the poll together even knows there's a world of ales out there.

That being said, I've been known to drink Guinness as a pleasant change from the perennial fizzy pop lagers available in South Africa. Then again I'll even drink brandy and coke as an alternative to yet more Castle Lager.

RM

Jackart said...

Everard's Tiger. - possibly the finest session beer in history.

Floreat Aula said...

Guiness is a fine drink - when drunk in Dublin, but it doesnt travel well.

To add to DK's beer list I would recommend ANYTHING at all from the Harvey's beer, brewed in Lewes in Sussex. By far the best in the world

Anonymous said...

Bollocks, you fucking prat.

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