The categories—and how I should surely fit into them—are as follows:
- Accessibility—I have made my site and its comment boxes available to all. I have discriminated against neither raspberries nor fruitloops as long as their comments are sensible, i.e. accord with my thinking.
- Advocacy—well, I mean, this is surely one that I should win! I have advocated hangings, cancer, beatings, shootings, beheadings, more beatings and cancer (again) as suitable punishments for our NuLabour masters (and their mouthpieces). How much more advocacy do you want?
- Contribution to civic society—I have surely contributed more than anyone else in the sheer volume of swearwords, cursing, sweeping generalisations and spitting rage (but only because I write more posts than Noreen and BallBag).
- Education—I have educated many in the ways of righteousness, and not a few in the ways of self-righteousness. I am amazing. I rest my case.
- Elected representative—alright, not this one. Yet. Unless you count my election as UN Delegate of Blogtopia, of course.
- Independent information—well, this is easy: the way in which I so rarely quote my sources surely shows that I have independent sources of information, outside the ken of mortal man.
- Innovation—I have taken bile-filled swearing to new highs, and taste in jokes to new lows. I have a wonderfully innovative logo, and I've inaugurated an award specifically for fiskings accompanied by gratuitous insults. What more do you want?
- Modernising government—I've planned how to modernise government: a few snipers, a well-placed bomb and me as Benign Dictator for Life. That'd shake up the wet, floppy-eared liberals.
How I'm not winning in every one these categories, frankly, I'll never know...