But today, your humble Devil would like to turn a baleful eye upon those who totally get away with facilitating rape, murder, robbery with violence, corruption and larceny on a grand scale, ID theft, collusion with organised criminals, apathy, spinelessness, uselessness, naked greed, pillaging, waste, sleaze, lies, avarice, power-broking, the arming of dictators, fraud, fascism and misery.
No matter how we lambast our government for these vices, let us never forget the pieces of shit who actually make it happen. Can anyone tell me: apart from Charles Clarke who, precisely, has lost their job over the shambles at the Home Office? Who has lost their job over the overpayment of £2.2 billion in tax credits for the last two years and the hounding for repayment of those who can least afford it? Who has lost their job over the appalling balls-up over the sale of QuinetiQ? Who has lost their job over the lack of EU farm subsidy payouts? Who has lost their job over the ten times increase in cost of the Scottish Parliament Building?
Has even one civil servant lost their job over these, and many more, scandals? And I don't mean who has been moved sideways, leftwise, upwise or bumwise; I mean who has ceased involuntarily to work for the civil service because of these scandals?
Let us not forget, every time that we complain about MPs' pay rises, that their pay is pegged to that of the Civil Service; every time that MPs get an inflation busting pay rise, it is because the civil servants have voted one for themselves first. Every time that we criticise MPs for their grossly inflated pensions, let us not forget that civil servants also command these copper-bottomed pension plans.
As for the fucking Cabinet Secretary, one Gus O'Donnell (the man who did such a wonderful job in whitewashing the ghastly Tessa "fucking hell, my face is an odd shape" Jowell), this piece from Private Eye relates to (not, as usual, online (Hislop, what the fuck are you playing at? Stop poncing about on the washed-up, hackneyed piece of old shit that is Have I Got News For You and get up to speed with the modern world will you?)) Gus's appearance in front of the Commons Public Administration Committee:
O'Donnell's first mention of the Home Office was to remark that it was "a department that faces a large number of challenges". This may have been standard Whitehall euphemism for "the place is in a shambles" but it soon became clear O'Donnell actually believed the system was working well.
Well, obviously; this was, after all, the man who believed that Tessa Jowell could be unaware that her husband had accepted a $600,000 gift and who had missed the fact that she had no mortgage statements for four years.
Why had no official been sacked for the bungling which forced Charles Clarke out of office? O'Donnell went into a five-minute spiel of jargon-packed waffle, oblivious to the groans and sighs of the committee.
A few more minutes of chunter tested patience even further. [Committee Chairman, Tony] Wright said curtly that the Home Office was "seriously dysfunctional" and had "screwed up". He asked, "Who has carried the can for this apart from the Minister?" O'Donnell robotically told him that "there are a number of officials doing a wide range of jobs" and said that it was a "complex issue".
Paul Flynn (Lab) expressed despair of O'Donnell's "verbal ectoplasm" and his reluctance to say how many officials had been sacked. "Is the word that you are searching for 'none'?" asked Flynn. "Will you say 'yes' or 'no'?" O'Donnell would do no such thing.
Well, I think that we know the answer to that question, don't we? The answer is, I would imagine, that none have been sacked but a couple might have been moved "sideways" into other departments.
It is time to stop this farce; it is time to cut vast swathes from the civil service. People must be sacked, if only pour encourager les autres. It is time to run through this bunch of apathetic, self-satisfied, corrupt bastards with a fucking scythe, if not literally then at least metaphorically.
The centre of government is rotten and the politicians are led by example. Time for a cull.