Wednesday, May 31, 2006

If... The BBC Discovers Economics...

Flicking through the channels to avoid doing any work this evening, I happened to catch part of the BBC's extremely stupid "docu-drama" called If... The Oil Runs Out. It was quite the silliest thing that I have ever seen and I watched the film of Charlie's Angels, so I know.
Combining expert interviews with a fictional story line, the drama-documentary examines how our lives will change as the price of fuel starts to spiral out of control.

We will not just be paying a lot more - £2.35 per litre or $5.88 per US gallon - to fill up our cars, we will be charged much higher prices for food, heating and light.

At one point, one of the "experts" said something along the lines of, "we won't be able to just turn up the thermostat: people will have to start wearing warm clothes indoors." Fuck me, what a fucking hardship! I spent the first two years in my flat without any central heating: do you know what I did? That's right, I put on warm clothes ( I heartily recommend waistcoats, by the way). I was hardly torturing myself to death on the rack, for fuck's sake. When you aren't on a cosy BBC salary, you can't always afford to put the heating on either. That happens now, you idiot.

As for the wailing cleaning woman moaning that she couldn't afford food and heat for her five children, well... I'll admit that my first thought was, well, you should have kept your legs shut, lass, if you couldn't afford them. But I realised that this was deeply uncharitable and merely pointed out, in a tone only a few decibels above raised, that maybe the she should just do what the "expert" said and buy them some warm, fucking clothes. Instead the little bitch decided that she would just start taking them around to her employer's house and start racking up his energy bill whilst he was out at work. And, unbelievably, when he caught her, he didn't sack her on the spot: he made her a cup of bloody tea! And then let her and her brood move into the flat. Simply incredible.

My other problem was that the programme—whilst spewing out figures left, right and centre—seemed to have no grasp of economics. Much of it seemed to assume that, whilst oil and the cost of shopping would rise, that no one would actually, you know, stop using so much power because it had become so expensive. The protagonists were still flying about in planes at the slightest provocation and naturally they all drove humvees.
As the story unfolds, expert interviewees - including Paul Domjan, Former Energy Security Adviser at the US Dept of Defence, oil analyst Matt Simmons and the legendary former Saudi Arabian Minister of Oil, Sheikh Yamani - explain how the crisis will have an effect on every part of our lives.

And believe me, the Saudi man could hardly contain his glee as he told of all the disasters that would befall the West; I thought, at one point, that he was actually going to start laughing with delight.
As one of the experts concludes: "It is very important for us to think today about what we can do to move away from the oil age, to build a more environmentally sustainable economy without all the political and environmental problems that come with oil.

"And hopefully we'll develop a policy to move away from oil today, rather than waiting until a story like this in 2016 forces us to give up oil."

Yes, we are, believe it or not, working on it: not something that the BBC chose to dwell on in its sensationalist piece of shit.

Seriously, I can't believe that they saw fit to broadcast this shoddy, tawdry, schmaltzy, amateurish load of old horseshit.


AntiCitizenOne said...

"shoddy, tawdry, schmaltzy, amateurish load of old horseshit." only possible due to the "unique" way the 'b'BC is funded.

Anonymous said...

Wear a waist-coat in public, or be tortured on the rack.

Fucking hell, that's a tough one...

How long would I have to stay on the rack for?

Serf said...

Why are you remotely surprised.

Its the BBC, they are funded by involuntary contributions and staffed by marxists.

AndyB said...

And ITV and Sky, funded by advertisements and subscriptions respectively, are deep wells of quality programming?

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