David Cameron threw down the gauntlet to Eurosceptic Tory MPs yesterday by declaring that anyone who advocated withdrawal from the European Union would not serve on his front bench.
On the eve of the launch of a pressure group promoting withdrawal, the Tory leader effectively warned backbenchers not to get involved if they valued their careers.
Look, you fucking Tory dunderhead, most of the people in this country are Eurosceptic. Certainly, the vast majority of the people who know anything about the EU are Eurosceptic, and even those who are in favour in principle realise that, in its present form, it is rather less than a good thing.
Whilst we are part of the EU, our politics can never move on in a significant way. The EU is committed to its socialist agenda and we have ceded enough of our powers to ensure that they can enforce this aim. A real conservative simply cannot support the existence of the EU; apart from anything else it is an extravagant, corrupt and pointless organisation. It simply should not exist; hear the cry Mr Cameron: "Unio Europaea delenda est"!
Mr Cameron also unveiled plans to transform the party by ensuring that a tenth of candidates in winnable seats were from ethnic minorities. Addressing parliamentary journalists at Westminster, he made no apologies for setting up a secret group to promote the selection of women by announcing that the new "priority list" of top-quality candidates would have more women than men on it.
The list of up to 150 names had originally been expected to be split evenly between the sexes but Mr Cameron said that "more than 50 per cent will be women".
In the name of fuck, why do you think that discrimination—even positive discrimination—is a good thing? You should pick the best person for the job—irrespective of race, colour, gender or sexual orientation—not the one that best suits you fucking quotas.
In a speech designed to urge party activists to keep faith with his attempt to take the Tories to the centre ground, Mr Cameron said his mission was "as profound" as Tony Blair's "Clause Four" moment in 1995 when Labour abandoned its long-held commitment to state ownership.
Yes, you are right. Now, not one of our three main parties represent those who feel that our membership of the EU is as expensive and pointless as the organisation itself. Well done, Spam; you have just handed a whole load more votes to UKIP.
Because, I think that I have found my party: loonies and closet racists they may be, Spam, (and don't think we don't know that the timing of that was deliberate) they are going to get my vote, if I can give it to them. You have just put the last nail into the coffin of my support for the Tory Party. You are no longer Conservatives, and you are certainly not conservatives.
Perhaps it's time to start a new party: the party of small government, of Euroscepticism. A party which believes that the tax-payer should not have to pick up the bill for hairstylists and make-up artists and party propaganda. A party which believes that giving individuals the freedom to choose how they live their life is the central tenet of liberty; a party that does not believe that the state is the solution to every problem; a party that believes in free markets; a party that believes that the best way to help the working poor is to let them keep their money; a party that is untainted with the word "Tory". In short, a party that is in some way different to NuLabour in something other than name.
Does anyone have any suggestions for names? I think that it might be manifesto time again: time for those of us who are conservatives to lay out what we believe in, and how we would implement our beliefs for the greatest benefit of all. Time to revisit the pledges of last year and hone and refine them in the light of events witnessed and lessons learned. It's time for the 2006 DK Manifesto*...
* Yes, yes, I know that I said that we on the Right don't make manifestos; it's just a word. It's a statement of intended policies, not stated beliefs.