Monday, March 20, 2006

The Regulatory Reform Bill

In late 2006, having enacted the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill, the Labour goverment abolished the House of Lords and the House of Commons and established itself as a ruling junta led by El Presidente Toni Blair. The Bill effectively allowed government ministers to do precisely what they liked without having to debate or vote on... well... anything. Today, two weeks after the establishment of the Labour dictatorship, your humble Devil interviews El Presidente.

DK: "Good morning, Mr Blair..."

TB: [imitates Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off] "Call me "sir", goddamn it!"

DK: "Ha, ha. Very funny, Mr Blair!"

TB: "No, really. Call me "sir" or I'll have you put under house arrest."

DK: "Er, right, sir. Now, you Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill—which for conveniences sake I'll call the Destruction of Democracy Bill—was a stroke of genius. Why, exactly did you decide to go down that route."

TB: [giggles manically] "Well, you see, DK, I found it tremendously amusing for the MPs to vote themselves out of a job. It was, if you like, a conceit on my part; I was pretty sure that I could dupe them into doing it and sure enough, I could."

DK: "It was, if I may say, a masterstroke; worthy of Machiavelli himself."

TB: "Well, I had to keep Gordon out of power somehow."

DK: "Quite so. So, where did you get the initial idea; you know, for MPs to vote themselves out of a job?"

TB: "Well, actually, DK, I got the idea from Brussels. You see, the European Union has been steadily eroding the power of the House for many years and yet the MPs kept voting to give it more power over UK decision-making. I simply took that concept to its logical conclusion."

DK: "So, what now for Great Britain?"

TB: "Well, we are, of course, pushing ahead with our tremendously beneficial ID Cards, National Identity Register and the implanting of RFID chips and barcodes in everybody's forearm. Naturally we have sealed the borders so that no one can leave and now we shall continue to push ahead with the NuLabour project."

DK: "Which entails...?"

TB: "Well, essentially, it'll be pretty much like Communism. We will, of course, bestow favours on the faithful: David [Blunkett], Peter [Mandelson] and, of course, Neil [Harding]. Everybody will work for the same amount of pay. Other than ourselves of course."

DK: "And, you think that this will get through Parliament? You think that people will vote for that?"

TB: "Um, what Parliament? And, er, you know, what elections?"

DK: "Thank you, sir. And, one last question: is it any coincidence that you initials, TB, also stand for a potentially fatal pulmonary infection, caused by Mycobacterium tuberculosis, which used to kill many thousands of people a year a couple of hundred years ago?"

TB: "Take him away and have him flogged!"

The Legislatory and Regulatory Reform Bill: voting away democracy.

More information: Chicken Yoghurt; Liberty Central and more to follow.

Kill the Bill.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4817734.stm

I wonder if Blair's ever considered kidnapping Mrs Brown or Mrs Prescott...

The very model of a modern scientific man

Your humble Devil was thoroughly amused by Neil Ferguson's fall from grace, and is very pleased to have found the time to outline Fergus...