Saturday, March 25, 2006

Polly rides Gordon again

Polly Toynbee has a crush. This man is no elegant, sartorial genius; no, he is a dour Scotsman whose rare smile is like the sun coming through the clouds for our Polly. But can this be a mere crush, an infatuation? No, for she thinks he has a lovely personality and—oh!—how she admires the things that he does!
After Brown's masterstroke, wait for Blair's next Tiggerish moment

The only masterstroke that Polly can imagine is her stroking of his hard, Scottish cock as she worships it on her knees...
So there he was, resplendent and emphatically in command.

... and opens her mouth, ready to take the Chancellor's magnificent member into her intimate orifice. All she can smell is the sweet smell of class war and she prays that Gordon doesn't see the contents of her stuffed bank account, lest he wrest his red cock from her reach.

Seriously, it's getting really quite disgusting now. And there's more!
For once his own side had reason to cheer as the all-conquering chancellor yet again pounded the opposition bench into dust. The budget left Labour MPs trooping out of the chamber with their customary gloom cracked into grins from ear to ear. Gordon Brown had painted them the outline of his coming era, the dim shape of his manifesto, and they liked it a lot. In a year when there was no great giveaway, how deftly he pointed to a future quite unlike the present.

Slowly, Polly flicks her tongue out, delicately licking the mushroom head of her idol's dick, pointing her tongue to gently probe the little hole...
No massive structural upheavals for ideological reasons, no great new PFIs or privatisations: despite false spinning to placate the City, PFIs will fall back as a proportion of spending. But a green glint in his eye suggested much more to come - and at last education trumps health, as it always should have done. The health department rightly never asked for a penny more.

... feeling her cunt, dry for so long, juicing up, ready to feel the dour economic genius's massive cock plunging up inside...

God, I feel soiled. Not as soiled as Polly, admittedly, as she joyfully receives Gordo's seed in her face and hair, letting it drip off her chin and down between her flappy spaniel's ears breasts, but soiled enough.

Still, I too am glad that Gordo has cut back on the PFI, mainly because it has been a complete fucking failure combining, as it does, the very worst of both the public and private sector methodolgies, i.e. the profit-making motive of the private sector with the lack of control in spending and project management of the public. Unfortunately, it has taken this economic leviathan eight years to realise what a fucking failure the whole thing has been.

But Polly ploughs on and, please do note, her positively sexual review has not finished yet; note the use of the word "endowed" where another word, such as "funded", would not only do, but actually be more accurate.
Brown's pledge to make every state-school pupil as well-endowed as private-school children was a masterstroke of political imagery.

Unfortunately, just giving schools the same amount of money per child as private schools do will not actually make them as "well-endowed" because, you see, private schools have to spend their money wisely. Giving a school an extra couple of million will not ensure that the children have better facilities; it'll probably only ensure that the teachers' pension fund is not as totally screwed as it was the year before.
It hints at class war against the toffs and their privately educated children opposite, without saying anything so vulgar.

I'm sorry, Polly, how much does your household earn? Like Mr Eugenides, I can guarantee that it is probably more than my parents did.
It leaves them floundering, a genuine divide opening up. Can they match it? Their shadow Treasury chief declared that they would spend less.

Good. They can spend less, but make the school system work better, a bit like in that place that Polly admires so much. What was it? Ah, yes, Sweden; where they have private schools and use a voucher system, that'll be the one that she praised earlier in the week then. But, no, no reform for schools: just more money pissed up the wall.
True, Brown's extra schools money this year is puny, with no date set for that private-school target, but a promise is a promise.

Polly is like the wife whose husband repeatedly cheats on her, but every time he comes back to insist that he loves her really and she believes him and lets him up her cunt once again. Because she needs to be loved, and where else will she find a lover like Gordon? Has she learned nothing from this government's record? Eight long years of nothing except lies and evasions, money spent that doesn't benefit those that it was supposed to, reforms that only make things worse. It's really sad...
This giant leap in education spending will have to be there in next year's comprehensive spending review.

Ah, next year's CSR - that shapes the future. To meet these mighty promises to children, money must be raised or else radically shifted between departments.

It's like she is yearning for that next secret rendez-vous at the hotel, those few snatched hours once every few weeks; how she longs for it...
(Though this time the Home Office got frozen, and the Department for Work and Pensions and others suffered a whacking 5% cut).

Ha! That's going to piss Charles Clarke right off; and, incidentally, means that we will all end up paying yet more out of the money left in our pockets for those sodding ID Cards. Yes, yes, I know that we all pay for them really, but this is going to be yet more on top, ain't it?
Consider this: to hit the target for abolishing child poverty reaffirmed by Brown in the budget, the income of the bottom 10% needs to rise at three times the rate enjoyed by the top 60% of the population for the next two decades. To get there by 2020 needs even more. That's the scale of it, and this budget doesn't begin to reach it.

Indeed, Polly; to make good his promise, the Chancellor needs to be spending £17.8 billion on schools, not the paltry £8 billion that he is currently doing. And he also needs to stop measuring poverty on a relative scale, or else he will never, by definition, get all children out of poverty.
The sums on education, child poverty, Sure Start children's centres and the panoply of Brown's ambitions for children don't add up. Or not yet.

You might have thought that, with most half-way intelligent people, that line would be an affair-breaker, the point at which Polly turns to The Gobblin' King, tears streaming down her face, and tells him that it is over. But, no, this woman has fallen and fallen hard and the affair is still very far from over. How many more people will get hurt before she realises that it isn't going anywhere?
Yet he nails himself to ever-harder pledges, so his plans must be far more radical than anything we have seen yet.

Oh, wow! It's even worse than I thought; now we have the Jesus-imagery! Gordon is not just a fiscal wizard; he is, in fact, the Messiah, here to save us from the evil bourgousie! And he will forgive all our sins and lead us to heaven, to the promised land, from out of purgatory...
Charles Clarke tells the world that Blair is staying another two years. Even if he only stays until the commonly predicted summer 2007, then he will still be there to stamp his imprint on the CSR that commits spending right through the next election. So it just won't happen. No one knows how, but the gathering opinion among some surprising people is that it one way or another, it can't be allowed to happen.

It's really incredible, now Polly has me rooting for Toni...
One close Blairite, an old Brown enemy, says the moment will come. "Right now, he hasn't begun to get his head around the idea of going. He won't go when he's in trouble: he just digs in harder. But in his next Tiggerish up moment he may start to listen."

Has anyone considered feeding him Rohypnol and then taking turns using his bumhole for their pleasure? I don't think that will make him go, I just think that it would be quite amusing.
We Guardian commentators and our recent editorial calling for him to go, (for God's sake go), may or may not speak for England, but probably make him less likely to budge in his current state of mind.

Pol, you speak for middl-class Communist sympathisers and other idiots. They like Blair because he seems like one of them; he's not a frothing, tax and spend, old-Left lunatic like Brown. They can salve their Lefty guilt complexes without having to think too much about what they are actually complicit in.
Decoding the commentariat on the right is more puzzling, with all its bluffs and double bluffs. The right, in truth, are unsure. Max Hastings calls for his head: does that mean he thinks Labour will sink under Brown? Simon Jenkins claims to think Blair is Labour's greatest asset.

Once the respectable veneer that is Blair has gone, what will be left, naked and exposed, is an old-style, far-Left, redistributive Labour government and that famous Middle England will desert in droves.
What the right thinks now is bizarrely important, since Blair has all but delivered his fate into Cameron's hands. Hot on the heels of the local elections, the education bill is back for report stage and third reading in late May, and the Tories have yet to decide how to play it. Should they find spurious reasons to swivel and vote against? Losing his bill on Tory whim is even worse than winning it on their say-so.

Yes, and strangely satisfying for us. If only it were a better Bill.
How is it, by the way, that the Tories seem to be escaping any media scrutiny for their secret £20m loan donors? True, they never made the error of claiming to be whiter than white - bankrolling by gamblers and dubious zillionaires is nothing new for them - but it does expose Britain's gross media imbalance. What's to hide? Are they disgraced criminals hiding out in foreign tax havens - or what? Blair was too personally damaged at prime minister's questions to dare stick it to them, but everyone else should.)

Because their accounts are not up for audit until June, Polly. And at that time they will make full disclosure of all donations and loans in the same way that they did in June 2005. Sorry, that's a straw man, love.
Good backbench tearoom watchers say a secret poll now would probably have a majority wanting Blair to leave this summer, but few would sign a wrecking petition. That leaves the cabinet. Would they make a move? In an interview in the current issue of the New Statesman, Peter Hain says he thinks Charles Clarke is the only one with the "chutzpah" to tell Blair when his time is up. It is not unimaginable that a deputation including Clarke, Alan Johnson, Patricia Hewitt, Alistair Darling, Geoff Hoon (who has become more his own man as leader of the House) and others might find the collective sense of party preservation.

If so, the likes of us had better not get to hear about it until the deed is history, for what everyone (except the fruitcakes) still prays for is that "graceful transition". Though every day that passes it looks grimly less likely.

And, my dear Polly, that makes the chances of your knight in shining armour ever making it past his first election even less likely, doesn't it? Ah, well, my dear, just think; with less time needed for politics, he will have more time for bending you over the sofa and taking you roughly from behind, each vicious stab of his cock bringing both pleasure and pain to your wounded body.

It'll make a change from him fucking us, at least...


Anonymous said...

Sweet Jesus, you should stick that on a fanfic site. Presuming, of course, that someone out there has an existing interest in Gordon Brown porn. I hope to Christ that isn't the case, but you never know on the internet...

Alternatively, get Irvine Welsh to write a sequel to The Acid House and stick it in that.

Chairwoman of the bored said... are a dirty little begger, arent you?

Peter Briffa said...

I knew you wouldn't let me down!

David Farrer said...

“My God,” she groaned. “Are they all like that in Fife?”

“I can’t answer for Ming,” he replied.

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