Take a swim in Lake You

Chicken Yoghurt has actually taken the time to download and read NuLabour's Respect Action Plan (PDF), an action which shows either a massive effort of will and dedication to his readers or severe boredom.

Predictably, it's a load of old bollocks.

The whole thing is peppered with nuggets of the most excruciating management-speak - "The Only Person Who Can Start The Cycle Of Respect Is You", "The Future Depends On Unlocking The Positive Potential Of Young People", "The Foundation Of Our Future Is Our Young", and my personal favourite, "Everyone Is Part Of Everyone Else". I mean, what happened? Did the fortune cookie industry go tits-up and New Labour take up the slack? All it needs is "Take A Swim In Lake You" and the true cringing horror would be complete.

As usual, CY pulls the whole thing apart in the most amusing way possible; can we nominate him for some kind of "People's Honour"? I would say that he deserves it for wading through such piles of turgid crap.

To be honest, the best way for this government to instill a culture of respect would be for the lot of them to lead by example and line up to drown themselves in the Thames. If they like, I'll buy an extraordinarily expensive train ticket to London and give them a hand by holding their heads under the greasy water until they've stopped twitching...