ENGLAND’S most zealous policeman has been told to stop feeling quite so many collars because he is scaring the suspects off.
PC Diederik Coetzee, who holds the national record for the number of arrests in a year, has been ordered not to make any more in a particular street in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, despite its reputation as a haunt of drug dealers.
While the average officer manages only 9.5 arrests a year, PC Coetzee has already smashed the existing record of 305 held by a Northumbria police dog handler and has received an official commendation. He had set himself a target of 380 by the end of this month, an aim which will now be more difficult to achieve.
Why is this? Maybe his force are running a—now sadly failed—undercover operation or something equally zealous? Er, no.
Managers of the Sherwood Street day centre and YMCA hostel complained that PC Coetzee was nicking too many of their “vulnerable” young clients and frightening away the needy who sought refuge from a life on the streets.
Well, that's just wonderful. Now, I'm sure that the managers of the Sherwood Street day centre and YMCA hostel are complaining solely on behalf of their poor benighted clients, and are not, in any way, looking to their own salaries and funding...
“Everyone has a lot of respect for PC Coetzee, but there is no point in having a centre like this if the very people it is meant to help stay away,” a source at the day centre said.
Well, maybe; but then they shouldn't be filthy criminals, eh? And I'm sure that the young people who aren't criminals—and who like to leave with their wallet still in their pocket—are probably rather enjoying it.
Chief Inspector John Eyre said: “PC Coetzee is an enthusiastic, tenacious and pro-active police officer. Recently his work, including arresting people who have failed to appear in court, has led to concerns from managers at Sherwood Street day centre that his actions may deter vulnerable members of the community from using the service.”
It's a wonderful day when a policeman can say "vulnerable members of the community" when what he means is filthy fucking crims who make everybody else's life a fucking misery.
Chief Inspector Eyre added: “In a spirit of co-operation with the day centre, police have come to an agreement that extra care and consideration will be taken as to where any such arrests take place.”
So, he's allowed to arrest them anywhere except near the day centre. I'm sure that the local residents of that street—well, the law-abiding ones (assuming that there are any)—are absolutely fucking ecstatic.
Speaking recently after his commendation PC Coetzee said: “I’ve got to know the criminals and they all know me. They don’t even try to run from me any more, because they know I’ll catch up with them.”
Excellent; we'll have a few more like him,please.
At the time Inspector Samantha Wilson, his area commander, said he was an outstanding officer who had made a significant contribution. Now she has had to tell him to ease off.
Oh, for fuck's sake: it's a damn woman. I might have bloody well known it.No, she hasn't had to tell him to ease off. She hasn't had to do anything: he is upholding the law as all too many pussy policemen (and women) fail to do these days, mainly because they are all attending seminars on "inclusiveness" and "how to hug an ethnic chappie" and "why potting the black is racist" and other such enormous stinking piles of useless horseshit.
Down at Mansfield nick yesterday the talk was of little else. “It’s ridiculous,” a source said. “He’s officially the best copper in Britain but he’s been told to stop arresting people in an area where drug dealers and burglars are known to hang about. His trouble is he’s too good at what he does.”
The same cannot be said for Nottinghamshire Constabulary, which two years ago was named the second-worst performer among the 43 forces in England and Wales.
Oh dear. One would have thought that an eager officer would be just what they needed, given the local crime statistics.
The latest crime figures show 26 violent attacks per 1,000 head of population compared with a national average of 16.5; 10 house burglaries against an average of 6.4; 7 vehicle thefts against an average of 4.5 and 17 thefts from vehicles compared with 10.
But, no, apparently not. Still, at least there's no smell of corruption around this for once.
A police spokeswoman said that the award-winning centre was a successful drug treatment facility that was working to stop addicts getting involved in crime. It was being run by the force and other agencies and PC Coetzee was not aware of the police involvement in the centre because it was not officially on his beat.
Ah. Now I wonder exactly how the kickbacks work on that one...