Give the man a drink or three

I am rather behind with this, but that is because I thought that I had better calm down first. Then, whilst having a few libations (considerably more than three) with Witchibus last night, I realised that I still haven't calmed down, so I may as well write about it anyway.

ONE of Britain’s leading surgeons has called on the government to introduce curbs on the sale of alcohol, limiting the amount that customers can consume per visit to a pub or bar.

John Smith, president of the Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh, believes that such restrictions would be the logical next step to improving the nation’s health following the ban on smoking in public buildings.

John? John, are you there? Can you listen to me now, please?

John, you are a sodding surgeon. You are President of a bunch of surgeons. Surgeons are here to patch people up, OK? They are not here to make politics, so why don't you take your drinking limit and shove it up your arse? And then you can FUCK OFF! The last thing that we need is interfering busybodies like you giving this bunch of fascist wankscum ideas. I bet some fucking lightbulbs went off in the Labour policy unit when you came up with that idea, John.

Quite apart from anything else, Johnny-boy, as Tim so correctly pointed out, haven't you noticed that there's more than one pub? I mean, it's not something that you could fucking well miss, you fucking retard. You are the President of the College of Surgeons in Edinburgh*: this fine city has one of the highest densities of pubs per head of population in the country, and probably the world. Fuck you, Smith, and the fucking horse that you rode in on. Fuck off and heal the sick, and leave the rest of us alone you shit-for-brains monkey-masturbator.

*This bunch of numpties, by the way, turned down a friend of mine, when she applied for a job recently, on the grounds that she was "too clever".