Do these people not go on holiday? And why call at 10 in the morning when I am on holiday?
Call-centre monkey: "Do you have a card or another bank account that you can make a token payment from?"
Me: "No, I have no money on any card. And you are my other bank account."
Call-centre monkey: "Will you be able to make a payment by the end of this month?"
Me: "No. I have told you, I don't have any money. And, unlike you, all of my clients are on holiday until at least the fourth of January."
Call-centre monkey: "Can you give a breakdown of your monthly incomings and outgoings?"
Me: "Not right now, no: it's not really any of your business. And frankly, you wouldn't believe me anyway. But, essentially my income this month was about £200."
Call-centre monkey:[with heavy scepticism] "Can I ask, sir, how are you managing to survive?"
Me: "A very good question. With difficulty is the answer."
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