Friday, October 28, 2005

Nice work...

This story from a couple of days ago, induced a Millie Tant-style exploding head dilemma for your humble Devil.
A JAPANESE artist has been paid £5,000 of taxpayers’ money to attempt to drink 48 cans of beer and then fall off a wooden beam.
The “performance”, which took place at the Chapter arts centre in Cardiff, has outraged members of the local council and caused bafflement among the public, many of whom do exactly that without getting paid every Friday and Saturday night.

David Davies, a Conservative member of the Welsh Assembly, said the show was “probably the biggest waste of money in the world”.

This is, undeniably, a load of fucking bollocks, and not, as an Art Centre spokeman claimed, "a powerful piece of art." I mean, it's nice work if you can get it: I wouldn't mind being paid £5,000 to ponce about on a pole drinking a lot (although, I'd have to drink real ale, and claim that it was a work about "how living things are treated like mass-produced objects") but, as Scott explains, it isn't art. It's a waste of money.

So, why the confusion, why the tortured head-banging over this piece of idiocy? Why do I feel unable to jump on it and give it an unreserved knacker-kicking? Can you guess?
Mr Patel, a Labour councillor for the Canton ward, said: "I don't agree with any binge drinking, regardless of what it is.

"I think it is inappropriate that a performance of this nature is staged in the public bar area - it should have been behind closed doors."

That's right: it's because, stupid and pointless though Ms Anti-Cool's work may be, this sanctimonious idiot is even worse. Personally, if someone is going to get ratted and balance on a beam, I can think of few more appropriate places to do so than a public bar. Is this kind of PC nonsense all that Mr Patel is going to delight us with?
He added: "If she was drunk then that concerns me and it sends out the wrong message. It is an arts centre but it also has a cinema and it is all open, so if young people were to walk through the main door they would've seen that."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh, no, please god, won't someone think of the chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiildren! "Young people" in Wales have obviously never seen drunk people before. Mr Patel obviously thinks that it is OK for "young people" to be in a public bar*, but it's not OK for them to see drunk people in that bar. In which case, I imagine that Mr Patel will be urging his fellow corrupt bunch of wankers, these fuckers are even worse than MPs councillors to limit the number of drinks to two per person. It's the inevitable follow-up: luckily, there are a lot of AA groups in the area...
A spokeswoman for Alcohol Concern said: "We don't comment on individual cases such as this but we are always concerned when people drink to excess and put their health and safety at risk."

Really. Well, there's a bunch of people who must be concerned every hour of every day of every year. There's so much concern that the amount of Prozac that they must shovel down themselves just to get out of bed in the morning probably constitutes some kind of record.

So, wait... crap piece of concept "art" costing five grand; must. Get. Annoyed. But, sanctimonious bureaucrats condemning it, not least on behalf of the chiiiiiiildren; they. Are. Even. Worse. Can't compute who I hate more... Whrrrrrr, Bzzzt...


*"Young people" should not be in bars. Bars are where we go to get away from the noisy, disgusting little fuckers. There's a good case for keeping women out of them too, except that then I'd never get a shag...

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