Friday, October 20, 2017

From the archives: a polemic

I found this across the web whilst researching recently. I wrote it when I first became leader of the Libertarian Party and it was, apparently, posted on the now defunct LPUK website. I rather like it, so I thought I'd reproduce it here, for posterity...

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My friends,

We are broke. Our country—whatever it may once have been—is now laden with debt. And this isn't "the government's debt": it is our debt.

The government has no money but what it takes—what it extorts—from us.

We have gone beyond consensus politics: if a man were to come to your door, with a gun, and demand half of everything that you earned—on pain of severe punishment, on pain of the total ruination of your life—would you not protest?

For a moment, lay aside those dutiful thoughts of those starving millions beyond your gate, and think, instead, of those within your own household—within your own family: would you not rather protect them first?

Of course you would: they are your kith and kin and you would expect—would you not?—that everyone, like you, would defend theirs against you were you the one holding the gun.

The government has now utterly removed from you the means of protecting yourself and your family against the man with the gun: indeed, you dare not defend yourself because you fear that it is you, not the mugger, who would end up in the dock.

For the government is the man with the gun, demanding tithes from you: the government is here, at your door. But not randomly.

No.

The government has gone out and bought itself nice things—plasma TVs, second homes, duckhouses, moats. And jobs, and votes. All of those things that you could not afford—because it has been here before: at your door, with a gun.

Five years ago, it was here—threatening you with prison if you did not pay up—for the sake of all of those children who were not yours. You paid, because you had no option.

Four years ago, it was here—threatening you with prison if you did not pay up—for the sake of all of those unhealthy who were not yours. You paid, because you had no option.

Three years ago, it was here—threatening you with prison if you did not pay up—for the sake of all of those uneducated who were not yours. You paid, because you had no option.

Two years ago, it was here—threatening you with prison if you did not pay up—for the sake of all of those feckless bankers who were not yours. You paid, because you had no option.

One year ago, it was here—threatening you with prison if you did not pay up—for the sake of all of those MPs who had no duck-houses or second homes or moats. You paid, because you had no option.

And now the government has spent everything that you had to give, and more, on its pet projects—on buying its second homes, on buying its duckhouses, on buying its votes—and none of it benefited you and yours. Not even by one iota.

The government didn't care that you couldn't afford to give any more: it didn't care that you had no money.

The government didn't care that you had lost your job: the government didn't care that all of those thousands of pounds it took in National Insurance payments translated into a few hundred when you were in need.

And now, when you are getting back on your feet—back in a job that is not as good as the one the government destroyed, back struggling to look after your family on the pittance you are paid, back paying off your debts—the government, too, is back: it's back with the gun.

The government is back—demanding half of what you broke your back to earn—because it has more grand schemes, more votes to buy, more trinkets to deliver to its favoured ones.

Will you so willingly hand over the sweat of your brow? Will you so willingly condemn you and yours to penury? Will you capitulate again?

Or will you fight?

Join us—and help us to stop the extortion.

Join us—and understand that providing for you and yours is not a sin.

Join us—and realise that a society that pulls together is a society that stays together.

Join us—and help us fight for a future in which people help each other voluntarily, because it is right and fitting to do so.

Join us—and help to build a future in which men, women and children take back their work, their birthrights, their dignity and their compassion from a government that cares nothing for you.

Join us.

Because—whether the government is Tory, Labour or LibDem—soon you will have nothing left to lose.

Sunday, October 01, 2017

The UK's EU negotiating position

Right, fuck this waiting around bollocks. Does the EU really think that the legendary British tendency to enjoy queuing means that we are just going to sit about and wait for these fucking cultural and economic pygmies to dictate our future? They do—so, something must be done.

Pace Pete, for he does understand the issues, but he and others are approaching the whole Brexit issue as technocrats—in, essentially, the same mentality that characterises the EU itself.

I say "fuck this shit". I want this done—and done now. So, here's how we should address this issue...
"Fuck you, ladies and gentlemen of the EU: fuck you very much. We are tired of you dicking us around, and our patience is at an end.

"Yes: we understand the trade problems inherent in customs barriers: but, unless you are stupider than we thought, so do you—and so do your businesses.

"You may not understand the pressures of a democracy, but the Council of Ministers very much does: so we recommend that you ask them how they—and their citizens—feel about cutting off trade with the fifth largest economy in the world.

"Either you will listen, which is fine by us; or you will not listen, which will simply justify our own citizens' decision to leave an undemocratic institution.

"The UK is the first and best democratic government in the world, and our people are irritated by your prevarications, and tired of our failure to enact the path that they voted for.

"With this in mind, we are immediately ending this shambolic pretence at a 'negotiation'. Instead, we will refocus our time and resources on building the systems that we will need to continue trade.

"So, we will immediately sign free trade deals with any countries that want to engage with the UK: what are you going to do—go to war with us? Really? The only vaguely capable military power in the EU is German—and how do you think the world will react to yet another German army mustering outside its borders?

"Yes: that's what I thought. Now get back in your fucking box, you twats.

"Our trade philosophy is simple. Today, we will register a '0% tariff' trade plan with the WTO. Why, when the British people want to buy foreign imports, would we make them poorer? We're not idiots, you know.

"Next, we will examine all of the standards espoused by UNESCO, etc. and, if we agree, adopt them. And we shall once again take our place (and our own votes) at these tables, to influence regulation.

"We shall use our foreign aid budget to influence these standards in our favour. Most importantly, we shall spend considerable amounts of money and influence to ensure that Developing Countries have the governance and infrastructure also to comply—and then we shall do our best to open their trade to our products. With the main point that, with this power, we shall become favoured trading partners with these hugely populous countries.

"But you ladies and gentlemen of the EU need to understand one very crucial thing: we are doing this as of tomorrow.

"Fuck these negotiations: and fuck you all up the arse. The people of the UK voted to leave behind your undemocratic, technocratic bullshit—these farcical negotiations are simply prolonging your entirely unjustified power over the people of this country.

"So, let me say it again, fuck you into the middle of next week. We're done here.

"We leave it to you to go back to the peoples and businesses of your countries and tell them that you fucked up the negotiations with the fifth largest economy in the world. We leave it to you to tell them why there is now a massive customs barrier to their goods coming to the UK.

"Good luck with that.

"The people of the UK have tolerated your bullshit for six months and, let's face it, they are as fucking bored with it as we are.

"So, get tæ fuck, you cunts: you aren't even worthy of being called 'snake-oil salesmen'.

"Fuck you: we've left, as of this moment. So, once more, get tæ fuck—we're done here."