Tuesday, April 12, 2011

An Islamic revolution...

One of the defining features of the strictest versions of Islam, as highlighted by Carpsio, is the rulings that imams are asked to make on the tiniest of details.
They happily hold forth on matters like hair dye, whether video phones are ‘permissable’ and how frequently one should shave one’s pwabs—which is a welcome change from our own dear church, which can only answer “coffee or tea?”.

But Carpsio's imagined solution to this mania for religious micromanagement is rather excellent...
In fact, I often dimly wonder if you could spark an Islamic Reformation just by doggedly asking increasingly abstruse questions—is plasticine permissible? Is it allowed for a woman to handle spiders on her period? Can I ride a donkey if I’m wearing shorts? A few thousand questions like that and eventually even the sternest imam is going to throw his hands up and start playing wistful ballads in his mosque like his CofE counterparts, telling his flock to sort their own fucking lives out and, you know, just try to be decent people.

Works for me...

6 comments:

john in cheshire said...

If there was a worldwide cull of all ayatollahs, imams and mullahs then I think the world would be a happier place.

Anonymous said...

Good idea. Do you see any sign of Christians with balls starting a new Crusade or two?
Can't see too many limp wristed guitar playing cymbal bashers or many of the male sort for that matter doing anything. What sort of lead would they get from the ArchDruid of Canterbury?
The likeliest outcome of turning the other cheek is they could choose the best side to cut your head off from.

Ed Butt said...

No wonder there seems to be one Imam per every ten Muslims.

Its a better work creation scheme than the non jobs created by Labour councils.

black hole sunset said...

Was it Carpsio who did an excellent guest post ages ago on the subject Brown's deluded flights of internationalist fancy? Something along the lines of "{insert transnational body here} ... {insert imagined outcome here}", wasn't it?

If it wasn't Capsio, does anyone remember who it was?

Devil's Kitchen said...

Yep, that was Carpsio. Great man...

DK

black hole sunset said...

Thanks DK, and Capsio too, of course. God that was, by way of its damning truths, a riotously funny post!