Thursday, October 21, 2010

Is Laurie Penny the stupidest woman on the face of the planet?

Look at it. That's Laurie Penny, that is. Fucking hell.

Timmy calls it grossly overblown rhetoric.

I call it a stupid, ugly, miserable, evil ignorant sack of weasel-vomit being paid too much to write filthy, lying, hyperbolic bullshit in order to pander to one of the world's most bigoted and moronic demographics—the bien-pensant, tofu-munching Lefty sheep-shaggers known as "the readers of The New Statesman".

I mean, how could anyone take this sentence seriously? [Emphasis mine.]
If [the Labour Party's] collective response to the greatest assault on social democracy in living memory is anything to go by, Labour has also lost sight of what it means to be a party of the left.

It might come as a bit of a surprise to Laurie Penny—who is, I assume, about thirteen years old—that there have been far greater assaults on "social democracy in living memory".

I fail to see, in any case, how cutting the amount of money that the state spends is, in any way, an attack on society—unless, of course, society revolves solely around money. I imagine that, for Laurie Penny, it probably is—after all, you'd have to pay me to spend a minute in her company.

And an attack on democracy? How is cutting government spending worse for democracy than Gordon "fucking" Brown's quite deliberate policy of extorting money and using it to buy votes?

And how is this possibly the greatest attack in living memory? This may come as a surprise to someone who probably can't remember the First Gulf War, Laurie, but there are still some people in this country who remember the Second World War.

(And, if you want to get pissy about it, the invasion of the Falkland Islands was arguably a greater assault on a social democracy by a military junta—it did, at least, involve some guns, missiles and lots of dead people.)

Still, I suppose that one should be grateful for the fact that dear old Maggie seems to be off the hook: the poor woman probably thought that she would be Laurie Penny's prime demon until she died. It seems, however, that Dave and Gideon are to be the greater hate figures for the Left.

Or that part of the Left that is represented by Laurie Penny anyway, i.e. the really fucking stupid part of it.

Luckily for Laurie, by the way, the answer to the post title is, "no, Laurie Penny is not the stupidest woman on the face of the planet": but that's only because Bevanite Ellie—surely one of the single most asinine creatures ever to grub around on this dirty ball of rock—is still around.

And mature, sophisticated and subtle though they may seem next to those of Ellie Gellard, it doesn't alter the fact that Laurie Penny's political views are slightly more black and white than footage of a Hitler rally, and about as well-meaning.

Yes, yes: I am sure that some people are going to pop up and say that I am exhibiting misogynistic tendencies—that I am only attacking this silly bitch because she is a woman. Believe me, that's not the case.

If I were a woman, I would be slitting my wrists—overcome by the way in which Laurie Penny shames my gender in general and the feminist cause in particular.

As it is, being a man (who knew?), I just feel a deep and abiding disquiet whenever I recall that I am part of the same species as the lack-witted creature that wrote this pile of cobblers... [Emphasis mine.]
They have knelt down and swallowed the Tory narrative that this recession is all Labour's fault, rather than the result of years of systematic global financial deregulation with which every major political party in Britain and America was until lately in agreement.

Er... Good fucking god—where to start? And how to put it in the kind of simple terms, Laurie, that a lackwit arse like you will understand?

Let's have a go...
  • The Labour government spent far more per year than they were able to steal from people in tax.

  • This "deficit" has been climbing steadily for the last decade—long before the recession hit.

  • Last year, Labour overspent by nearly £170 billion.

  • As a result, our declared national debt is nearly £800 billion.

  • Although, actually, our real national debt is actually somewhere nearer £8 trillion.

  • By 2016, just paying the interest on the debt is going to cost us in the region of £200 billion per year—or about £300,000 per household in Britain.

  • There is no fucking money left.

  • Despite the Coalition's "greatest assault on social democracy in living memory", they are on track to overspend by even more this year.

  • That is because there are no cuts in spending—only a cut in the increase in spending.

  • There. Is. No. Fucking. Money. Left.

It is about time that people—by which I mean commissioning editors—realised that Laurie Penny is not only a pig-ignorant self-serving nutcase, but also a bigoted, shallow fuckwit living in a fantasy world in which government spending is not the extorted product of people's hard work, but magic fucking money that falls from the sky.

Having said all of this (yes, yes: I know—very rude), the last paragraph of her pointless screed does contain some good points—more by luck than judgement. [Emphasis mine.]
That Labour does not have any answers for us is a disgusting display of the irrelevance of Westminster politics to the lives of ordinary citizens. If today's pathetic equivocation parade is a benchmark for the next four years of Labour politics, we will have to look elsewhere to find a voice in the hard, cold months ahead.

Westminster politics has long become irrelevant to the people of this country (except as an instrument of tyranny)—we know this.

But, more pertinently, Laurie, maybe (if you weren't a self-loathing sociopath) you might turn to real people, to the society that you profess to love, for comfort—rather than relying on the empty promises and meaningless platitudes of politicians to keep you warm at night.

Other than that, you'll just have to start putting some money into the meter, love...

UPDATE: removed "disappointing" link (see nwd comment below). We don't want another Gordon Brown's children debate, do we?*

UPDATE 2: if you want to know why I hold Penny Red—and others like her—in such contempt, it is because they are thieves, blackmailers and extortionists who do not even have the courage to do their thieving in person—instead contracting the state do to so on their behalf.

* An in-joke for very long-time readers.

44 comments:

davidncl said...

I lie awake dreaming of leading the "greatest assault on social democracy in living memory".

Anonymous said...

brilliant. This is why i read this blog.

Anonymous said...

Ah, I see you're back to "sweary" Devil.
Jolly good!

nwd said...

Much as I hate to be that person who brings up a somewhat tangental complaint, I must say that your link from "nutcase" to an article about Laurie Penny's anorexia is extremely disappointing.

Her being a nutcase because of her political beliefs is one thing (and not something that I would necessarily argue against), but to link that with a psychological condition that is entirely irrelevant to the subject matter of the post is just vulgar.

Devil's Kitchen said...

nwd,

"Her being a nutcase because of her political beliefs is one thing (and not something that I would necessarily argue against), but to link that with a psychological condition that is entirely irrelevant to the subject matter of the post is just vulgar."

Probably—I can't be bothered to have something so petty become the focus of this and have removed the link.

However...

I spent over a year working as an Auxiliary Nurse in a medical centre, and had to deal with a couple of long-term anorexics—so I do know a little bit about the condition, and the horrific damage that it causes.

Also, is being in the grip of a psychological condition such that you do active damage to yourself is almost the very definition of being a "nutcase" (if only temporary nutcasery)?

As such, you were right to pull me up on it: Laurie Penny is quite obviously cured now.

DK

Anonymous said...

Sorry, what was the point of deleting the last blogs post?

Plonker

The Pedant-General said...

Pedantry point: The £300,000 is the total debt per household, not the annual servicing cost.

It's still insane - I make it around £10,000 per household p.a. - more than a vast proportion of households pay in tax in total. Just to service the debt.

You would need to be earning ~£40k to be paying that much tax at all in total and none of it - nothing, not a penny - is actually paying for any of the services govt is - let alone should be - providing.

Mind blowing.

Raoul said...

"nd, if you want to get pissy about it, the invasion of the Falkland Islands was arguably a greater assault on a social democracy"

Accusing someone else of being stupid is less effective when you don't know what 'social democracy' means.

Here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_democracy

It's the politics and institutions of a society whose political economy is structured on principles of social solidarity.

Also, nations are not analogous to households with regard to debt; the fall in government revenues was due to the costs of bailing out the private financial services sector (run on thatcherite principles and operating in a regulatory regime it had used its social power to secure through lobbying) and the damage to projected growth that sector caused; lumping real leftists with gordon brown and new labour (who's fault was precisely in continuing conservative policy of letting finance capital roam free) is dishonest; finally, implementing austerity measures without growth accelerate the prospects of a double dip recession.

Rather than 'no money left', the tories have been rhetorically and politically instrumentalising the fallout of the economic crisis to mount an attack on… social democracy as embodied in the public sector and welfare institutions.

Angry Teen said...

Exraordinarily excellent blogging.

More, please!

Anonymous said...

Really?

Jessica said...

Stay bitter dude.

Laura said...

How wonderful! Another right-wing misogynistic twat who not only attacks one of the few genuinely fresh and unsoiled female faces of the left, but does so assuming anyone who degrades themself to share her opinion must be a "one of the world's most bigoted and moronic demographics—the bien-pensant, tofu-munching Lefty sheep-shaggers known as "the readers of The New Statesman"

SURPRISE! Not everyone on the left side of politics lives in South West London, went to Oxbridge and shares your ridiculous opinions.
Some of us are genuinely intelligent people living in industrial towns who find your writing not only wrong but also offensive. We're hit the hardest by George Osborne's announcements, we're affected by mental illness, we're students, we're people in jobs that pay just at or under the average wage.

Some people have a totally different opinion to you. You do yourself a disservice by treating us all as fuckwits.

Laurie Penny said...

Giolla - classy of you, my dear. Next time you want to enjoy my hospitality and have a random shag in my garden, at least have the decency not to leave a used condom draped across my front lawn, ok? Say what you like, I know it was you.

And try to actually exchange more than five words with me before slagging me off all over the internet.

Nosemonkey said...

Quick pedantry to the Pedant-General's pedantry - even the £10k a year figure is misleading, because that assumes that *all* tax is levied on individual taxpayers.

In fact it's a bit more complex than that, with Income Tax and National Insurance accounting for c.48% of tax revenue. Council Tax adds a further 5%, Inheritance and Capital Gains taxes both about 1% each. Then come other taxes that are paid by both individuals and businesses, such as VAT (15%), fuel duties (5%) etc. And a whole bunch that are paid by businesses alone (Corporation Tax makes up about 9%, Business rates c.4%, etc. etc.).

Which takes the £10k figure down to something in the region of £6-8,000 per household - the other £2-4k being paid for by business taxes.

This is, of course, still a hell of a high per household tax bill...

Nosemonkey said...

And pedantry to my own pedantry - not all government revenue comes from tax. Which takes the figure down even further. (Though by how much I have no idea, to be honest.)

Oh, and also DK - I thought you'd stopped with the swearing and personal abuse? Doesn't help the argument, you know - means any pro-Labour types are going to focus on that rather than the points you're trying to make.

marksany said...

to add to Nosemonkey's pedantry:
Companies don't pay tax, people do: employees, customers, suppliers and shareholders/owners.

Giolla said...

Laura, I've never claimed to be classy. And whose ever condom that was it wasn't mine.

Have I said anything that isn't true? And I'm very sure that we have in fact exchanged more than 5 words.

Nosemonkey said...

@Marksany - Yes *sigh*, companies make their money from people paying for things, and so corporation tax is paid by people... I just *knew* someone was going to bring that one up, this being a "libertarian" blog.

By the same nonsense logic, people don't pay taxes, the Earth and the Sun do - because all natural resources that are the origin of all goods come from the Earth, and all life is supported by the Sun.

charlesbarry said...

"Although, actually, our real national debt is actually somewhere nearer £8 trillion."

*Takes eyeballs out with a spoon*

It's infuriating that DK doesn't understand the concept of national debt. National debt is the cumulative level of borrowing the government has taken out to pay for its deficits.

PFI rent, pensions and debt interest ARE NOT FORMS OF BORROWING. They are simply types of expenditure.

Every year the government spends an amount for its pensions payments, and for its debt interest. To pay for this, it taxes people. Simples!

An idea to somehow add up PFI liabilities, Pensions and other assorted items is just a crass exercise in double counting, and in any case a totally meaningless statistic with no real bearing on anything.

Giolla said...

Laura actually for what little good it will do I do apologise for that comment, there was no need for me to make it.

If DK would remove my initial comment I'd take it as a kindness.

grungo said...

There are much, much stupider people than Laurie Penny on the left, take

http://scarletstandard.co.uk/

for example.

BashTheMsm said...

"It's infuriating that DK doesn't understand the concept of national debt. "

we all know what national debt is. and yes, technically all debts that state and state organizations/agencies/bodies/companies have are not "national debt"
but guess who will have to eventually pay for that

ose debts?

Nosemonkey said...

@BashTheMsm As noted above, the answer to your (no doubt intended to be rhetorical) question is that it's more complex than just "the people".

Also, it's worth noting that c.70% of the government's creditors are domestic financial institutions, including pension funds. So to get even more simplistic, the government owes the taxpayer money.

Please note: All of this is utterly stupid, fatuously simplistic nonsense that could only be believed by the economically illiterate.

David said...

Wow. This is pretty base and feckless. Have you said anything that couldn't be classed as vitriolic angry ranting?

Why don't you just take a step back and actually analyse the wrong and somewhat juvenile things that she says? Analysis works. Hate and swear words don't.

Your style relies on repetition, cliche and hate to make a statement. There's no real need for it.

As a final point "There. Is. No. Fucking. Money. Left." is not a serious statement. No matter what your political allegiance may be, a statement to that effect makes everyone a bit uncomfortable. Spending has been reckless and idiotic but the economy is not a piggy bank.

David

Devil's Kitchen said...

NM,

"@Marksany - Yes *sigh*, companies make their money from people paying for things, and so corporation tax is paid by people..."

*sigh*

When we say that corporation tax is paid by people, we do not mean the people buying the shit that companies sell—although, of course, people do pay more in higher prices.

Of course, the corporation tax burden is also paid by the shareholders (who own the assets of the company).

But by far the greatest burden—a Congressional Report in the US estimated 70%—falls on the people employed by the company in the form of lower wages. In the UK, that wage burden is higher than 100% of the tax raised.

Economists call this tax incidence, i.e. the entity handing over the cheque is not necessarily the entity actually paying the tax.

It's a phenomenon that is pretty well accepted by all economists—even those of the WTO.

"By the same nonsense logic, people don't pay taxes, the Earth and the Sun do - because all natural resources that are the origin of all goods come from the Earth, and all life is supported by the Sun."

You let me know when the Sun and Moon are legal shareholders or employees of a company, and then we'll talk, eh?

DK

Devil's Kitchen said...

David,

"Why don't you just take a step back and actually analyse the wrong and somewhat juvenile things that she says? Analysis works. Hate and swear words don't."

Yeah, but they make me feel loads better and that was the point of this post, frankly.

She's wrong and juvenile—but I expect readers to realise that. My writing was mere catharsis.

FWIW, this is one of the reasons that I loathe the idea that bloggers are "citizen journalists": it implies that we are writing primarily for the benefit of others—rather than ourselves.

DK

John Demetriou said...

DK

Don't be put off by the usual mob of disgruntled pious cunts.

This is a fucking EXELLENT article and I plead for more of this sort of thing. It fires the right arrows at the right targets and speaks to the quiet people out there (like me) who are sick to fucking death of seeing society disintegrate under the obnoxious boot soles of the social democratic elites.

Keep up the brilliant work and please, more of this sort of thing.

It's ace. No-one does this sort of thing quite as sharp, amusing and witty as you.

Anonymous said...

The most important fact that anyone thinking like this Penny bint has to realise is that no government has any money The cash which they so wilfully piss up against the wall comes from my pocket and from yours.
It is OUR money which is being frittered away in billion-pound lumps, not theirs!

Neuroskeptic said...

"It's ace. No-one does this sort of thing quite as sharp, amusing and witty as you."

Yeah it's hard to write this kind of stuff isn't it. You need to know several swearwords and lots of insults like "Tofu-munching" and, er "sheep shaggers", which last time I checked was an insult about Welsh people, not lefties, but then, I'm not up-to-date with the fuckwit-o-sphere so maybe it's gained a new connotation recently?

Seriously, if this is the best DK can do...which it is...it is no surprise that his traffic is not looking too chipper recently.

FFS even I'm more popular nowadays.

When it comes to "Gordon "fucking" Brown" DK's knowledge of economics comes into play - never a good omen - and, predictably, he quotes the kind of the statistics that cause Daily Mail readers to shit themselves "Last year, Labour overspent by nearly £170 billion." while ignoring the context of the financial crisis entirely, but to be fair, "financial" is a very long word, far more than 4 letters long, so it's no surprise he struggles with it.

What's tragic is that if DK put his swearing skills to proper use, he might be able to make something of himself. Like one of those paintings made of elephant poo.

Devil's Kitchen said...

NS,

"... while ignoring the context of the financial crisis entirely..."

So, Labour weren't running any kind of deficit before the financial crisis?

Oh, wait: yes, they were. It's what's called the "structural deficit" and it is running at about 10% of GDP, or about £120–150 billion.

As for traffic... Who gives a shit? Well, apart from you, of course.

DK

Neuroskeptic said...

Look, you sheep-shagger. (What the hell?) Of course Labour were running a deficit, the same as every government in every country on Earth. "Balanced budgets" has always been a fiscal conservative myth, which is why no government has ever done it.

Until you can show that Labour's overspending, rather than the financial crisis, was the cause of the present cuts (and yes there are cuts despite your writing about "the morons who think that there are any cuts in general" - for which I must commend you on finding a whole six letter term of abuse) you can go and shag a sheep.

As for traffic, who cares, I don't know, who should care - you, because without traffic, a blogger is nowt but a sad bastard typing furiously and spewing shit... actually, some of us are that even when they do have traffic, eh DK?

Stephen Wigmore said...

You are a stupid bastard aren't you Neuroskeptic (oooh, cunning name).

THIS country ran a balanced budget between 1998-2002 and Clinton ran one in America in the 90's. Just look up the figures, plenty of countries ran surpluses before the recession, which suggests you don't have a fucking clue what you're talking about.

Try to find a better excuse for constantly piling our children with ever higher levels of debt than your childish rubbish about 'oooh, it's impossible'. Yeah, it's impossible to not spend more than you earn, the numbers just won't allow it. What a load of bollocks.

Justin said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8GJoj2DtJg

Budgie said...

Neuroskeptic said: ""Balanced budgets" has always been a fiscal conservative myth, which is why no government has ever done it."

Actually that is incorrect. Many UK governments during the last 60 years have not only "Balanced their budgets" but actually paid off some of the national debt. That includes Gordon Brown's repayments in the first 4 years of New Labour whilst he was following Tory economic policies.

As a proportion of GDP, UK national debt fell from 200%+ post WW2, to a low of about 30% under Thatcher, rising under Major, falling again slightly under Brown until about 2001, then rising again under Brown well before the 2007 banking crisis.

And, by the way charlesbarry, "PFI rent, pensions and debt interest are not forms of borrowing. They are simply types of expenditure. PAID FOR BY BORROWING.

Anonymous said...

I find Laurie Penny unconvincing a lot of the time, but this isn't to do with her. It's more to do with you. She has a right to say what she has to say without abuse like this.

Your unchecked aggression needs to be challenged. You're a bully and not remotely funny, just disturbing and sad.

The violence and bile you're giving voice to really makes me worry about your judgement.

Write it out of your system, by all means, have your catharsis, but this is a public document that I found within a mouse click of Google.

This post comes across as pure harassment. If I was Laurie Penny, her lawyers or, indeed, the police I'd consider having a word with your employers and ISP at this stage.

Dan Bullock said...

Really interesting stuff.

There's only one thing I wanted to say, I love it when people with strong opinions hide under the cloak of anonymous.

It really gives their arguments extra depth. I say depth...

Michael Smith said...

On the other hand, Bevanite Ellie is really hot, whereas Laurie is a bit of a minger. I expect the former to go a long way in the Labour Party.

tickle said...

do you wilfully not understand what social democracy is or are you a fuckwit? either way you're a sad self serving cunt.

tickle said...

so you can dish it out but you can't take it? pathetic.

OldSlaughter said...

More pedantry:

"(And, if you want to get pissy about it, the invasion of the Falkland Islands was arguably a greater assault on a social democracy by a military junta—it did, at least, involve some guns, missiles and lots of dead people.)"

How many dead people? I count one, and he was Argentinian.

Anonymous said...

Laura said...How wonderful! Another right-wing misogynistic twat who not only attacks one of the few genuinely fresh and unsoiled female faces of the left.

What? You are saying Laurie has never had a facial. I'll be happy to rectify that!

Anonymous said...

"More pedantry:

"(And, if you want to get pissy about it, the invasion of the Falkland Islands was arguably a greater assault on a social democracy by a military junta—it did, at least, involve some guns, missiles and lots of dead people.)"

How many dead people? I count one, and he was Argentinian."

I'm sorry but I must be missing something. What are you trying to imply? That it was purely a defeat for the Argentinians?

Geebag said...

Oh I enjoyed this.

Crackerwax said...

Here's my take on this hyperbole ridden little hypocrite: http://goo.gl/3MnVX