Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Piss-up, Brewery

Amongst those of us who think that MPs deserve everything that they get, IPSA continues to cause uproarious amusement.

I mean, yes, it is a massively expensive £6.5 million fucking shambles, but it was set up by MPs to serve MPs—that these loathsome idiots are starting to get a taste of what the increasing bureaucratisation of Britain is like for the rest of us is, frankly, a joy.

And has come not a moment too soon.

And, of course, given the ridiculously tiny number of these bastards who are being done for fraud, it is oh-so-delicious to see these grasping slappers getting kicked right where it hurts: after all, IPSA was set up because these cunts were picking our pockets—it is poetic justice to see our Lords and Masters getting hit in theirs.

Of course, the loyal bag-carriers are getting screwed over too (me? Couldn't give a shit) and, according to Tory Bear, things are getting pretty desperate.
TB's bag-carrying amigo is raging. The £6.5m omnishambles that is the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority has been forced to extend the deadline for MP’s [sic] first claims. Initially the organisation had insisted all claims had to be submitted within 90 days, but MP’s [sic] are so bemused by the system that most of them are yet to make a claim.

So far just 279 out of 650 MPs have claimed expenses, whereas the rest have funded office equipment, travel and hotels out of their own pockets. The deadline for their claims would be 7th August onwards but IPSA has rushed out a note to say that MP’s [sic] will have until 1st October for these first claims.

While TB has little sympathy with many Members, the fact that they can't even run an office is a joke. There is a difference between lining their pockets and actually doing their job. The staffer told him earlier; “We all agree with the new expenses rules, but IPSA itself is an expensive shambles. Anyone wanting to go into parliament today would need at least £10,000 in cash to cover IPSA’s inadequacies. The fact is that the system is confusing and bureaucratic. They need to abolish IPSA asap.”

Oh dear, poor darlings—what's that sound? Oh yes, it's my bleeding fucking heart.

Of course, the real kicker line in the above paragraph is, of course, this one. [Emphasis mine.]
While TB has little sympathy with many Members, the fact that they can't even run an office is a joke.

No, TB: the joke is that—even though these stupid, ignorant, blinkered, thieving, lying cunts cannot even set up and run an office to manage their expenses—they are perfectly happy to try to run the lives of 65 million people in this country.

On top of their inability to set up such an office, they then either cannot be arsed or do not have the intelligence to work out how to submit their claims on time.

Perhaps these morons could try the old "oh, I couldn't work out how to do it" on HMRC and see what the reaction is? It would be something along the lines of "you owe us a £100 surcharge plus 10% interest for every day that you fail to submit. Oh, and stop fucking whining about it, twatface." Which, coincidentally, is pretty much what my response to this IPSA debacle is.

I say, more power to IPSA's elbow: make these MPs suffer and maybe—just maybe—these people will stop trying to tie the rest of us up in bureaucratic knots. And even if they don't, at least they'll be having a miserable time.

Hooray!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

So right.

They shoudn't have extended the deadline. They should have imposed £150 fines for late filing like they do at Companies House, and deem a document diled when they open the envelope, not when it was put in the post.

Phil Dickens said...

£6.5 million? Should've just spent it on gunpowder, and the rent of a cellar below parliament.

Ian E said...

'Amongst those of us who think that MPs deserve everything that they get'

Count me out of that group - I reckon they get at least twice as much pay as they deserve, twice as much holiday as they deserve and ridiculously generous allowances.

The Pedant-General said...

"the fact that they can't even run an office is a joke."

I love the double meaning of that phrase. I must say that I read it first time as "it is just desperate that MPs are so unbelievably incompetent" and had to do a serious amount of mental gymnastics in order to muster enough sympathy to realise he means "it is not a good thing that the system is so complex that MPs are prevented from setting up their offices".

Poor darlings.

Demetrius said...

Schadenfreude? It's always nice to see the biter bit.

Dick Puddlecote said...

"even though these stupid, ignorant, blinkered, thieving, lying cunts cannot even set up and run an office to manage their expenses—they are perfectly happy to try to run the lives of 65 million people in this country"

Well put. Perhaps if they were told that they would have to personally test out any system brought about by their lawmaking, before it was used on the public, they may think twice before signing off busybody legislation which improves nothing but their own collective ego.

Been having a giggle over at mine too. They're so strapped that some have taken to sleeping in their offices ... and been kicked out due to health and safety regs ... which they dreamed up. How delicious is that? :)