Friday, April 02, 2010

Blue Meanies

The Conservatives' National Citizen Service is based on successful precedents set in other countries.

One does wonder what the fuck is going on in Tory HQ—occasionally they mutter about personal freedom but, whenever they announce a policy, it seems to be about the Conservatives' freedom to tell us what to do.

As a case in point, let's take this little article by Tim Loughton, headlined...
Our plans for a National Citizen Service...

... are a National Fucking Disgrace? Seriously, what the hell is going on here?
Since 1997, Labour has, true to its roots, concentrated on building big government. Gordon Brown’s unremitting control-freakery has peppered public services with targets and processes, regulation and paperwork. The result has been a bigger state.

We want to reverse this.

OK, I'm not going to argue with that. So, what's your solution, Tim?

Are you, perhaps, going to roll back the big state by cutting the number of things that it tries to run, slice public spending down to sustainable levels, enact a Great Repeal Bill to restore the personal freedom and civil liberties that have been stolen from us and generally get the fuck out of our lives...?
We want to breathe new life into public services by making them more genuinely public – we want public sector workers to have a much greater say over what they do and how they do it.

What the fuck? As The Englishman says, we do not want "public sector workers to have a much greater say over what they do and how they do it"—we want public sector workers to do what we, the public, tell them to do and to do it in the way that we, the public, tell them to.

In the vast majority of cases, we'd like them to fuck off down to the Job Centre—and line up in front of the tills, not sit supine behind them.
We want to make it easier for people to contribute to the lives of their communities in the ways they see best. We want a bigger society.

Oh really? Well, what if I don't want to be part of your "bigger society", Tim? Can I opt out?

No, of course I fucking can't.
This mentality drives one of our most exciting proposals for young people—the National Citizen Service. This will offer all 16-year olds the opportunity to take part in a three-week social project in the summer after they’ve finished their GCSEs. First and foremost we want young people to experience a challenge—we’ll take them out of their comfort zones on a residential team-building course of a week or more.

Ah, you're going to offer them "the opportunity" to do this are you? When you say "opportunity", could it be that you actually mean that you are going to make it compulsory? Timmy thinks that it's entirely possible but it is certainly true that when Cameron announced this policy in a Sun article of September 2007, it was stated that it would not be compulsory in law.
Experts say that would be the wrong way to encourage the 650,000 16-year-olds each year to participate. Instead, they say the scheme should become so attractive it will become a natural part of growing up.

Employers will take note of those who include NCS work on their CV.

Oh, they will, will they? Will that be made compulsory in law? Or is it possible that employers will look at a potential employee's competence, rather than whether they have participated in the Tories' fucking Summer of Slavery.
Students will qualify for a cash award on completing their course.

Oh, I take it back—students will be paid, so it's not slavery. It will, in fact, prepare them for the world of work: it will give them the thrill of getting a paycheque that has been honestly earned!

I remember how good it felt to get my first pay packet—not only was it a reasonable sum of money but it felt amazing to know that I had earned every single penny of it through hard work and skill.

These young people will learn that hard work brings rewards!
Half of it will go to the organisation with which they worked. The other 50 per cent will be donated to a charity of the individual’s choice.

Oh, no: I was right the first time—it is slavery. Not only that, but the Tories are teaching sixteen year olds that it is wrong to work for your own profit, that it is far better and more worthy to subjugate your talent and your hard work to the will of others, and that working hard will bring no reward to themselves.

Ayn Rand would have a fucking fit. And I'm none to pleased either.

And, of course, it is a fool-proof and ostensibly worthy way of funnelling taxpayer funds into the Tories' favoured vested interests. Not the evil vested interests, you understand, but the good vested interests—like the unions.
After that they will be sent back to their own communities to consider what they think they can do to help meet their area’s needs. They will then draw up plans for social action projects which they will set up and keep going with volunteer work in the following year. This will be inspirational hard work giving every young person the opportunity to rub shoulders with others from very different walks of life and work with them to build better societies and communities.

For fuck's sake...
Equally we need to build better rites of passage for young people in this country. At the moment too many of the perceived markers for adulthood are negative – getting drunk, smoking, having underage sex – NCS is an opportunity for us to offer the youth of today an indication that society will value them by what they put in, not what they take out.

And what of the kids value of themselves? Should all of our worth be dictated by what other people think?

Unsurprisingly, I think not. But then I am pretty damn sure of my own worth.

And, given that, I cannot be bothered to look at the last two paragraphs of this boilerplate bullshit—I have better things to do with my time than to fisk, in their entirety, the stupid vacuous ideas of stupid vacuous men.

But, seriously, fucking hellski...


steves said...

strangely i left a comment mentioning the word slavery, and saying that i would not be voting tory this time and it seems to have disappeared with only positive comments left showing

David Davis (Libertarian Alliance) said...

Yep, it's the same Tim I used to know!

I knew Tim Laughton slightly well (my carefully chosen words, mine) years ago when he are I were yuppies in Battersea, South London, England.

Let's see if he is reading this blog shall we....

He became, I believe, a successful banker with Robert Fleming and Co or whatever. That's what he ought to have stayed doing.

Tim is by no stretch of the imagination a classical liberal, although he always thought that he was. His heart is in the right place for I know him to be a Good Man, but he is of that class of persons which is impressed by people who make trains run on time, and who manage to co-opt vast multitudes of the proletariat to "do things" that are "worthy" (my words, not his.) Tim never, in the time he knew me, thought himself, or his closer friends, to be part of "the masses".

He is an old-style "one-nation-Tory" and thus for now is part of the problem we have in this nation, and he is therefore not part of the solution.

If I am not right, he can correct me.

knirirr said...

I wonder if the tories know how similar this sort of thing makes them look to traditional fascists of the 20th century. Perhaps they do, but think that they can't possibly be as dastardly because they have such noble motives.

Mr Ecks said...

Wish I was sixteen again so I could tell them to shove it up their arse.

Anonymous said...

You can bet your bottom dollar that this forced labour will only apply to England.

David Davis (Libertarian Alliance) said...

Here's some more stuff about old Tim:-

Shug Niggurath said...

@knirirr; I hope you realise the fascists were only acting in good faith too?

G said...

Maybe this could be rolled out for all adults as a lifetime option as well. Business would love it, imagine your workforce paying YOU for the privilege.

Good job the voting age is not 16, nothing like "volunteers" having no say in what is happening to them.

knirirr said...


Indeed I do, but I am assuming that leftists today assume that they are doing things we consider dodgy for good motives whereas "real" fascists did them out of a desire to do evil.

IIRC this is explained in one of Orwell's essay's, but I'm not sure which one.

knirirr said...

P.S. apologies for that disgraceful typo.

Ian E said...

Do the youths have to swear fealty to Cameron, I wonder? Perhaps they could be taught a special salute? Of course they would also need to be shown an enemy to rally (sic) against - libetarians would make a pretty good sort of whipping boy!

Gareth said...

It is painfully clear what Dave is doing. Aping Obama. Is Dave so insulated from the world that he saw nothing and heard nothing of the furore Obama's plan whipped up?

People heard what he was saying and believed him - and it terrified them. The rhetoric had got away from Obama when he talked of a service of similar size and funding as the US military. After that the language was substantially toned down.

It's as if these politicians have spent so long saying bollocks that they don't expect people to believe them, ever, so the rhetoric that sounds good gets turned up to eleven without the consequences being considered.

Shug Niggurath said...

@knirirr! That is my point, the fascists did what they did for the best of (in their opinion) reasons.

None of these idiots enact these policies because they think they are evil, they all think they are the right thing to do.

That wanker Blair took us to the brink of a war on Islam because he thought it was worthy. That he now makes money off the back of that is a happy coincidence to him.

Brown really does think that his economic policy is the best one. That he might be wrong is neither here nor there.

Cameron is sold on the idea that making children work for a greater good is a way of repairing our 'broken' society.

These people are wankers. They are cushioned from the inevitable failure of their ideas and ideologies.

Not one of them is willing to question whether constant interference in individuals lives is maybe the problem rather than the solution.

We are ruled by grey suits both chasing the middle ground. Really we might be better served by a real left - right divide. SWP v UKIP to but it bluntly, then we would at least know what most people considered important, and it could make the opposites rethink their ideas.

Until then it's more of the same, the one-eyed son of the manse versus the eager to please forehead.

Sam Duncan said...

“Employers will take note of those who include NCS work on their CV.”

... As they do with kids who were Scouts, Guides or in the BB. This is a massive power grab by the state from voluntary organisations (oh sure, the Cameron Youth will be “working with” the voluntary sector, but who'll be calling the shots?).

And the “Conservatives” are presenting it as the opposite. They are, quite simply, lying cunts.

I've always voted Tory before, but Davey can kiss my hairy arse.

Robin said...

I think this Joy Through Strength thing is brilliant.After that put them in the Labour Corps to build Autobahns for the EU. Those that aren`t Blockmeisters for their apartments.
Then lets have Reeducation camps for fucbwit Tory politicians.

Wat Dabney said...

It's like Mrs Loughton's little boy has stumbled across a pile of old 1940s Signal magazines and is enthused by the strong social dimension underpinning all of its policy positions.

Fuck off Tim you fucking piece of shit. If you want to dress up like a Nazi and have a wank that's fine; just don't drag us into your private hell. In the immortal words of Pete'n'Dud: "You cunt, you fucking, fucking cunt."

Anonymous said...

After that they will be sent back to their own communities to consider what they think they can do to help meet their area’s needs. They will then draw up plans for social action projects which they will set up and keep going with volunteer work in the following year. This will be inspirational hard work giving every young person the opportunity to rub shoulders with others from very different walks of life and work with them to build better societies and communities.

im sorry, i cant see a bunch of friggin hoodies doing that.

that right there is just pure fantasy thinking. its the ultimate in namby pamby bollocks.

so you send a chavvy scumbag on a 3 week course he/she probably couldnt give a shit about, pay them some money which immediately gets taken off them again and then expect them to go back to their street of terraced housing and have them think: "hmmm what can i do to make this place better?"

get real

likely answer to that is, "ill hang around the booze4us shop and generally be a fucking lout"

chris said...


1. It is totally voluntary, in which case it is a pointless waste of money as practically nobody will do it.

2. It is 'voluntary', which actually means compulsory if you actually want to get a good university place. Yet another hoop to jump through, and one that will be especially difficult to jump through for those that cannot take a few weeks off to working on these charity make work/fundraisers.

3. It is not voluntary, in which case it is evil because it forces people to work on these projects against their will; especially since they could be doing other, more socially productive, work which people are willing to pay for with their own money.

Not a good policy.