Sunday, November 15, 2009

You almost have to admire the cheek of the man...

Having piled in with his £45,000 make-over of the Speaker's grace-and-favour home, it seems that John Bercow is determined to win an award for being the most shamelessly hypocritical shitstick ever to grace our Parliament of Whores.
New rules limiting MPs’ expenses must be implemented in full and without delay, the Speaker of the House of Commons has said.

John Bercow said that watering down the new rules would be a “catastrophic mistake” that would only do more damage to Parliament’s reputation. “Denial, delay or dilution is simply not an option," he said.

This is a prime example of what our American cousins call chutzpah, is it not? We British tend to use the word "hypocrisy" since it is far less cutesy.
Many MPs are unhappy about new expenses rules drawn up by Sir Christopher Kelly, the chairman of the Committee on Standards in Public Life.

Tough fucking shit: if you bastards didn't want to be punished, then you shouldn't have stolen as much as you possibly could, should you? But you did: so suck it up, you fucks.

Believe you me, you thieving sacks of shit, Sir Christopher Kelly's recommendations are far more lenient than those that I would have levied: mine would have made the Star Chamber look like fucking Alton Towers, and would probably have involved cutting your salaries by 75%, banning all expenses, shoving sharpened cockroaches up your pissholes, putting half of you in prison and hanging the other half from the nearest tree.

You dishonest bastards got off very, very lightly.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

What have you got against cockroaches?

Mitch said...

This is too easy,they are gonna get it all again but in a way we wont see.Some small rule change in FOI and bobs your aunty.Wait until another"good day" arrives.

You mark my words!

Elby The Beserk said...

@Anon.

The cockroaches will be fine. Little fuckers can survive anything.

The Filthy Smoker said...

Beautiful stuff. "Suck it up, you fucks" had me laughing out loud.

The Filthy Smoker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Northampton Saint said...

One day DK, you'll get off the fence and tell us what you realy think ;-)

North Northwester said...

"Believe you me, you thieving sacks of shit, Sir Christopher Kelly's recommendations are far more lenient than those that I would have levied: mine would have made the Star Chamber look like fucking Alton Towers, and would probably have involved cutting your salaries by 75%, banning all expenses, shoving sharpened cockroaches up your pissholes, putting half of you in prison and hanging the other half from the nearest tree."

No wonder we authoritarian tories call you libs a bunch of candy-ass wimps.
You mean you honestly don't know the use for a fully-opened pine cone, a handful of caustic soda crystals and a state of gunpoint-induced trouserlessness?

Pussies.

Mitch said...

OT but worth a look.

http://www.iceagenow.com/Construction_Crane_Buried_in_Ice.htm

Jeremy Jacobs said...

Can I correct you on the word "chutzpah" Chris? There's no exact equivalent in English. The closest you can get to it is the expression "damn cheek". Chutzpah has nothing to do with hypocrisy and the Yiddish expression is well used in Stanmore and St.John's Wood as well as New York City.

Certain people you don't care much for could be described as "schtick drek"


Carry on.

Umbongo said...

The test as to whether the next parliament is any better than the present one is if Bercow remains as speaker. If he does, we're all genuinely fucked - there really will be no hope. If he doesn't survive, there's a remote chance that - in the long run - we might be OK.