Friday, October 23, 2009

That Question Time script in full...

Constantly Furious has kindly transcribed the whole of that Question Time session just for all of those cannot bear to watch the smug awfulness of the actual broadcast. I recommend that you read the whole hilarious transcript, but here's a sample for your delectation...
And what a night it was. A glittering gallery of all the key figures, the big beasts, in British politics: MP Chris WhoHe of extremist minority party the "Lib Dems", Jack 'thought he'd retired?' Straw for Labour, Sayeeda WhoShe for Conservatives and Bonnie Greer, a random American writer, filling that vital role of black-person-sat-right-next-to-nasty-Nick-ha-ha.

Through his contacts with the BBC (you just press '1' on the remote), CF is able to bring you a full transcript of what was probably the most tedious controversial Question Time yet.

Dimbleby: "Good evening. I'd like to welcome our panel tonight. Well, all of them bar one of course"
[audience laughs nervously]
Griffin: "I .."
[audience boos, ecstatically]
Dimblebore: "That's really quite enough from you, Mr Griffin"
[enthusiastic applause. Cries of 'quite right']
Dumbledore: "First, I must just apologise for the screaming and breaking glass you may be able to hear. I'm told that the UAF have peacefully stormed the building and are now peacefully smashing the place up".
Dumbledore: "and so, to our first question. Gentlemen with the cross face.."
Angry Asian: "Nick. Is it that you love Churchill and hate Muslims, innit?"
Nick Griffin: "I didn't.."
Baroness Wassup [interrupting]: "Yes, you do, don't you, you do"
[prolonged applause]
Dumbledore: "Moving on now. I've got photos' Mr Griffin, of you standing near a man from the Klu Klux Klan. Does the very existence of these photo's not prove, beyond doubt, that you'd very much like to strap a black man to the front of your pickup and drive all round the bayou at high speed?"
Nick Griffin: "Well, I.."
Bonnie Greer [interrupting]: "Don't you try to tell me about no KKK. I'm American."

Indeed you are, Bonnie, and your impeccable right-on credentials were proved when you talked historical bollocks to Griffin—attacking him whenever you were able.

Then, Bonnie, you courageously shut the fuck up whilst the vile Establishment politicos happily chuntered away about the measures that their mainstream parties were taking to ensure that Americans like you, Bonnie, would not now be able to enter this country—let alone be able to stay and patronise wall-eyed loons on TV. Still, I shouldn't imagine that you are any stranger to hypocrisy, eh, Bonnie?

So I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability, Bonnie Greer: truly, your ability to stand up to one man's bigotry, discrimination and injustice is to be applauded. What a pity that you, the Deputy Chariman of the National Museum, found yourself unable to stand up against bigotry, discrimination and injustice when it was advocated by your paymasters.

Yes, it was a pity—but hardly a surprise.


Constantly Furious said...

Cheers, m'dear.

Only thing is, you arty ponce, you've formatted it much better than I did. I'm gonna have to go back and reformat the orignal now, dammit.

Roger Thornhill said...

Bonnie might think about being wary over the Roman Empire.

IIRC (and I am open to correction here) The Roman Empire failed for many reasons but one was that it suffered mass immigration of people who refused to become Romans or pay taxes...

bella gerens said...

I think actually the Roman Empire failed because it suffered mass immigration of people who killed their soldiers, stole their food, raped their women and burnt down their cities.

We should count ourselves lucky.

Mr Potarto said...

"Romanes eunt domus!"

Anonymous said...

Only thing is, you arty ponce, you've formatted it much better than I did...

Stop moaning you smug cunt. At least DK didn't correct your abysmal use of apostrophes'.

Von Spreuth said...

bella gerens said...

I think actually the Roman Empire failed because it suffered mass immigration of people who killed their soldiers, stole their food, raped their women and burnt down their cities.

We should count ourselves lucky.

I suggest you read the articles here;


And remember what is happening to Western troops in Afghanistan
before you go getting all self gratulatory.

John said...

The Romans were horrible and thoroughly nasty cunts, especially when it came to the poor bastards who's land and people they enslaved. Fair enough, they may have been liberal when it came to moral matters (orgies, booze, drug taking) but one of their main aims when they came here was to wipe out the druids and druidic religious practices which they percieved to be a threat to the empire. Many historians have overturned the view that Britain was a barbaric backwater before the Romans came; archaelogical digs have uncovered complex sewar systems and agricultural equipment and methods that predates the Roman invasion. Celtic law also granted women almost equal rights to men when it came to divorce and inheritance, in contrast with the Romans where women had much less rights and were viewed as inferior. The Romans succeeded in stamping out a sophisticated and pluralistic pagan culture that was arguable more tolerant than anything the Romans had to offer.
If anything, the Roman invasion fucked us up, and led to us carrying out the same imperialistic abuse that the Romans inflicted on us.

bella gerens said...

Von Spreuth:

Ha! Point taken.

However. It's rather unfair to tar all Muslim immigrants to the West with the brush of rioting rapist. As offensive as some of them may be, they are hardly invading Visigoths.

Zack said...

BNP now win!

Labour threw open Britain's borders to mass immigration to help socially engineer a more multicultural country

See the words socially engineer?

Tomrat said...

To be fair to Bonnie Greer she was the only one who actually tried to put up a fight against some of Chunk from the Goonies nastier assertions; prey, even try to reason with the odious little turd?

Unlike our political masters, who must've been shaking in their boots, the prospect of having to share a common viewpoint with Chunk, or worse the audience doing so.

He may be a nasty racist piece of scum but from some of his more political answers he was at least consistent; as long as it wasn't on Britain's shores he didn't particularly care what those of a darker complexion do, live and let live, rather than Labours blood for oil logic of the last decade.

Kudos to that black guy who pointed put the impotence(?) of NuLabour's immigration policy; tWas nice to see Strawman squirm.

Plato said...

Personally, I found her most offensive patronising garbage was that the English all came from somewhere else and hence don't *really* exist.

So where did the fucking French come from then, sunshine or the Russians, Chinese etc.